A relationship of someone I knew very well was that which was developed from friendship to romantic love. Initially, a friend of mine joined a spiritual awareness group which aimed to enhance spirituality and faith through attending annual retreats, joining in volunteer programs, as well as promoting the Catholic faith. My friend, who we could call, Mildred, established a traditional friendship with all members, including Tito. What started as acquaintance slowly evolved and developed into a strong bond of friendship through frequent communication and interpersonal relationship that is expected from the activities of the members. Since both were single, they eventually started casual dating. When they got to know more about each other; shared each other’s interests and goals; and recognized that they have developed a strong affection and mutual affection for each other, they eventually got engaged and got married. Now, they have two grown daughters and their marriage is still as strong as ever.
The concepts of relationships that were evident from the scenario started with acquaintance, to friendship, to romantic love and eventually, to matrimony. This is consistent with Sternberg’s triangular theory of love which is apparently based on three scales: intimacy, passion, and commitment . During the acquaintance stage, it was evident that as members of the spiritual awareness group, they have signified similar interests in achieving the goals of the group. They could have exhibited faint awareness of any form of attraction at the initial stage. During the friendship stage, Mildred and Tito got to share experiences, personal and professional backgrounds, as well as determine similarities in interests. Some level of physical attraction could already be observed. Beyond friendship, when Tito already formally signified his love, attraction, and strong emotional affection for Mildred; and was mutually responded to, this stage evidently confirmed the romantic stage. More intimate bonds were established and some experiences could be considered private to both. Finally, when the couples confirmed that they would like to share the rest of their lives together, it affirmed the stage of matrimony. The couples then decided to have a family and live together as husband and wife.
According to Farrer, Tsuchiya, & Bagrowicz (2008), romantic expressions are actually shaped by cultural and social factors. Thus, if either Mildred or Tito was from the Japanese culture, the expectations for romantic love could somewhat be different, given that the adjustment time for intimacy could be longer; as such, anything could happen. If any would discern that he or she could adapt or adjust to conformity to cultural norms and traditions of a Japanese national; then, the relationship could proceed to passion. Sometimes, people with different cultural orientations could encounter difficulties in terms of conformity to traditions and practices and eventually deciding their future permanent residency. As such, only when all the factors that were developed from the two stages: intimacy and passion remain the same, then, both could be expected to affirm going to the third stage, which is commitment.
References
Farrer, J., Tsuchiya, H., & Bagrowicz, B. (2008). Emotional expression in tsukiau dating relationships in Japan. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 25, No. 1, 168-188.
Triangular Theory of Love. (n.d.). Retrieved from hofstra.edu: http://www.hofstra.edu/pdf/community/slzctr/stdcsl/stdcsl_triangular.pdf
