With the current shift in the demands on academic prowess in the job market, the premium on education has hit a new high and its now almost a requirement to have a college degree or at least a high school certificate to hope of getting a job. Such a reality having hit many parents, they are even more interested in the progress of their children in high school and in college, not only in what they score in the courses they are taking but also in the courses they are taking. Parents, being the legal custodian because of the parental connection, feel the urge to ensure that their children ‘succeed’ in life by going to college and getting an education that can guarantee a job. They feel that this is one of the responsibilities they have, just like providing for meals. This greatly differs from the perspective the teenagers have as far as their major and career choice is concerned. They actually get frustrated to learn the high interest with which their parents follow their progress and at the constant ‘advice’ on the right subjects to take and how lucrative the career these subjective lead is. In essence, they feel like they are living some bodies dream and not their own. Rebellion comes when the teenager feels he or she is being run like his or her parents project, which further increase the frustration of their parents. It is such events that make parents brand their children as lacking direction, non-communicative, rebellious and even suspect of having mental disorders. Actually the current number of teenagers attending counseling to remedy for their ‘temper tantrums’, (as diagnosed by their parents) is soaring and its time the big question is asked; at what point does authority of the parents to direct their children’s activities end?
A look at the age bracket in question shows that these young people directly qualify to make their own decisions concerning subjects and career. In many nations, the age of 18 is the transition into adulthood, with the youth allowed to get the National Identity Card and can be allowed to take part in national activities like enlisting in the military because the country regards them as adults. Being legally an adult comes with many changes in responsibility as an individual, and this transition period is one of trial and error for them. They get to learn that if anything happens, their parents are not held responsible. They realize that they can no longer stay at home and depend fully on their parents, which is the reason many start looking for jobs. They want to feel the thrill of getting their own salary after spending their energy at work. How then will they fully own their new status of adult if they still have their choices done by their parents? This will retard this development since they will not feel the need to worry about anything, nor know the meaning of taking a risk; which is the main way that their parents learned anything. Some of these parents, though their motives are good, do this because they did not achieve a certain academic goal either in subject or in career and want their children to live the dream. Unfortunately, they fail to realize that these children have developed their own dreams that they want to live. Therefore, it is important to realize that when one becomes legally mature, he or she should get the same status socially and if something needs to be said concerning making any choice, it should be an advice and not a decision made for them. The other reason they should be let to make choices in the subjects to major and career to take is that at this age they already know their passions and interests. A child of less than ten years is asked what he would like to be when he grows up will most likely quote the parent’s profession because that is the first influence. When they are between 13 and 15, the same question will get a more refined answer depending on what the child feels is the ‘cool’ career. This extends to 16 and 17 year olds and it may be reasonable not to allow them make decisions at this point, that is the reason in elementary school no child is allowed to choose classes they can attend. But by the age of eighteen, the youth already have had a view of the world through the courses they have taken from both elementary and high schools. This is very crucial in making a well informed decision on the subject to major or the career to take. It is very unlikely that someone who has performed highly in music will require advice to know if he should pursue music as a career, just like those talented in football never ever ask for advice as to whether it is the right choice to take. Their parents however feel that such a passion for something is not enough for making a decision because they greatly fear that their children make wrong decisions almost always. Equally, to make somebody interested in law to take physics as a major in college is to disorient this person because although he will graduate in that course, he will never enjoy the career. Thus it is important to allow them to choose what they will enjoy doing as a career given that a career is one’s life.
The third reason why these youth should be allowed to make their choices is they will start developing the sense of responsibility and the feeling of freedom. It is easy to realize that the reason many teenagers become rebellious is because they do not have the sense of freedom. They feel like their parents are micromanaging their lives. If left to make their choice in what they should major, one thing strikes them as a reality; they must struggle to excel because they made a voluntary choice. Equally, the weight of having been left to make a major decision compels them to work hard to show that that freedom was well utilized and the choice made was right so that he or she can earn more respect and freedom because she or he will be regarded as focused and mentally mature. This alone is a great motivation for any youngster to perform even better. In this way, such a mentality is what they will pass down to their children and the chain will continue. They will grow to embrace responsibility at an early age, will complain less of the stress in their work place, will be more responsible as future parents and workers and will understand the need to extend such privileges to those below them. It is only a point of trusting them. Trusting them to make a mistake, but to take responsibility and learn from it. It is a trust in their new found maturity to lead them to better future and not a doubt on their ability to make decisions.
On the other hand, certain facts about the reality of life make it too risky to allow this age group to make certain crucial decisions. One of this is they have limited knowledge on the real struggle in the job market still. For instance, someone may take a course in mining because he or she is interested and is fascinated at the prospect of being a miner. But what if the country he or she lives in does not engage in mining, will it be easy to get a job? Take a case of someone who is interested in pursuing a medical course, but cannot withstand anything to do with the sciences, is it proper to allow such a child to apply to medical school knowing that he does not take a subject that leads to that career? The answer is no. these youths need advice on what subject leads to what career in life, so that they take subjects which lead to the specific careers they would like to pursue. Also, let them know the possibility of getting a job in a specific field or alternatively, the possibility of being able to be self-employed after graduating in a certain field. This will make them realize that the choosing of a career is a multifactorial issue given that despite you enjoying the work you do, you need to sustain yourself and those who depend on you using the returns from that work. Hence the cry of taking passion as the only guide gets a gag. They should visit career counselors and even volunteer in organizations during the holidays so that they can get a feel of what different fields are like and be advised on whether or not they are suitable for a certain career or not. Thus the knowledge of the job market is crucial and parents can take the lead, not in deciding their children’s career, but rather to enlighten them on the realties in the job market and advising accordingly.
The second hurdle to the freedom of choosing ones career is that at this age bracket, the influence of the peers is so high that personal judgment is impaired; the so called group thinking. A group of teenage girls who hear stories from one of their peers on how her aunt is living well because she is an air hostess is likely to choose the course in college, not because they have any passion at all or any knowledge of what it entails; but based entirely on the oratory prowess of the story teller, their peer. Will such a decision be termed informed? The answer is no. such a group needs to get a mentorship program to show them that it is not a must that you do what your friends do because despite being good friends, your abilities are different. Equally, a group of boys who hear the glory of being a soldier, how they can harass people because they are trained is more likely to go into the army, not because they have any passion, but because they want uniformity. The disaster is if the find the course too rigorous, they run away more confused that before they went in. it is thus important that they are helped to make decisions and advised not to take what their friends say as the reality of the situation given that those friends are as inexperienced as them. Lastly, this age group is composed of youth who are too emotional to make an objective decision. They need guidance in this either by career counselors or by their parents. It is possible for a child who is constantly nagged of being rough to choose being a bouncer just to prove to his parents that even his bad character can be useful. Also, a daughter being nagged of being lazy may decide to work in a fast food kiosk just to escape from her tyrant parents. It is this time of emotional swings among the youth that the adults, especially parents are needed to help their children make decisions that will not have them regret later. But even when guiding them through this, parents should not be judgmental nor coercive, instead it should be done with appreciation of the worries of the child and autonomy as a young adult because they are past eighteen.
Although they can make mistakes, these youth mean good for themselves and those around them in whatever they do. So let us give them a chance to make choices on their own, and when there is need, they can be helped with the necessary advice.
References
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