Essay 1: CUTS FOR BAIL
(1)In the past decade, college tuition has risen three times as fast as the consumer-price index and twice as fast as medical care. One of the most important factors driving price at public colleges and universities has been the decline in state support for higher education. With rising tuition and declining state financing, students and families are assuming a growing share of college costs. Tuition revenues now make up about half of public university revenues. And with colleges facing larger pensions, health care and technology costs, the pressure to keep(2) raising tuition is intense.
Critics of higher education often blame (3)faculty salaries for rising costs. However, when measured in constant dollars, salaries for full-time faculty at public institutions have actually declined. At many schools, tenured faculty have acquired low teaching loads to pursue trivial research published in journals no one reads, forcing administrators to hire cheap adjuncts who often do a fine job teaching at much lower cost. The role of sluggish state appropriation growth is somewhat exaggerated. When appropriations rise, universities (4)have used a large portion of the money to fund the unproductive bureaucracy.
"Colleges that keep their tuition down and are providing high-quality education are the ones that are going to see their taxpayer funding go up. It is time to stop subsidizing schools that are not producing good results," President Obama said in a speech at the State University of (5)New York, Buffalo.
Universities are extremely secretive about some basic issues relating to their performance. The federal government spends $35 billion or $40 billion annually on Pell Grants, but they do not publish data on the (6)percent of Pell recipients who graduate in, say, six years, (7) and a rather important statistic. According to the U.S. Department of Education, the average (8) annual tuition, fees and room and board at a public college or university in 1964-65 was $6,592, in 2011 dollars. By 2010-2011, (9)that had increased to $13,297 -- a 101.7 percent increase. The increase (10)for private schools was even more dramatic. (11)Average tuition, fees and room and board in 1964-65 was $13,233(12) a year; in 2010-2011, it was $31,395, a 137.2 percent increase.
"Colleges are simply doing the exact same thing as government-charging rich people more than those with less ability to pay. (13)Certainly the government should appreciate the fact that colleges are following a progressive pricing model modeled after progressive income taxes". Jeffrey Dorfman
In 2013-14, the highest published in-state tuition and fees in both public four-year and public two-year institutions are in New Hampshire and Vermont. In-state tuition and fees average $14,665 and $6,736 for public four-year and public two-year institutions, (14)respectively, in New Hampshire and $13,958 and $7,090 in Vermont. For the nation as a whole, average in-state tuition and fee prices are $8,893 for public four-year and $3,264 for public two-year institutions. Moreover, a majority of American students who graduate from high school, hope to pursue post-secondary education. Graduating from college is a part of the American Dream, (15)yet it is becoming more difficult to achieve. With recent graduates owing an average of $35,200(16) in student debt and incomes remaining stagnant, many Americans wonder whether pursuing a college education is worth the cost. The average public university tuition rate has risen to $21,000, with the private college tuition rate rising to $42,000. High tuition rates continue to affect most Americans in a variety of ways.
Strengthening state investment in higher education will require state policymakers to make the right tax and budget choices over the coming years. The weak economic recovery and the need to reinvest in other services that also have (17)been cut deeply, means that many states will need to raise revenue to rebuild their higher education systems. At the very least, states must avoid shortsighted tax cuts, which would make it much harder for them to invest in higher education, strengthen the skills of their workforce, and compete for the jobs (18)of the future. (19)Considering, high tuition rates and debt have made living independently an impossible goal for many new grads. Some cope with months of unemployment prior to the decision to move home, but the difficult economy leaves young adults with no other choice than to seek financial assistance from their families. In addition, the increasingly expensive student loan rates will ultimately affect recent graduates' children as well. (20)With many graduates using a 20- to 30-year repayment plan, they will have trouble financing their children's education because they will still be paying off their own student debt.
References: -
Belkin, Douglas, Oct 8, 2013 .How to Get College Tuition Under Control, The Wall Street Journal US, retrieved from http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424127887324549004579068992834736138
Matthews, Dylan, Aug 26, 2013. Introducing 'The Tuition is Too Damn High'. Wonkblog. The Washington Post, retrieved from
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2013/08/26/introducing-the-tuition-is-too-damn-high/
Hart, Lucy. The Effects of High Tuition Cost. Global Post, retrieved from
http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/effects-high-tuition-cost-15058.html
Lewin, Tamar, August 22, 2013. Obama's Plan Aims to Lower Cost of College. The New York Times, retrieved from
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/08/22/education/obamas-plan-aims-to-lower-cost-of-college.html?_r=0
Jeffrey Dorfman, September 12, 2013. There's No College Tuition 'Bubble': College Education Is Underpriced, Forbes, retrieved from
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeffreydorfman/2013/09/12/theres-no-college-tuition-bubble-college-education-is-underpriced/
List of Errors:
1.“Since the past decade,”
Error of word choice which made the time context confusing
2.”tuition rising”
Error in word order.
Hindering the intended meaning by the author; he meant “keep rising”
3. “salaries of the faculty”
Error- spoken expression inappropriate for formal written form. Another option could be “faculty- salaries”
4. “use”
Error- Wrong verb- tense form
It is making a regular phenomenon in the context sound like a specific one which is not intended.
5. “New York, Buffalo. ”
Error in Punctuation
6. “percentage”
Error of word form
7. “though it is a rather important statistic”
Error- wrong use of discourse marker and missing subject
Making the message vague and taking unintended turn
8. “annual tuition fees, room and board at a public college or university in 1964-65 was $6,592, and in 2011 it was dollars”
Error- Comma splices, redundant use of the conjunction “and”, Missing conjunction, Missing pronoun and data
The sentence is an incomplete expression or piece of information where the comparative data presented has become confusing due to wrong structure or use of words
9. “that increased”
Error- Wrong verb tense form
10. “in”
Wrong choice of Preposition
11. Please check no. 8
12. “a year. In”
Error- Run- on
Resulting in jumbled up expression which hinders comprehension
13. “Certainly,”
Error- inappropriate use of Punctuation
14. “institutions respectively”
Error- Comma splices
15. “Dream. Yet it”
Error- Run- on
This is hindering the flow of information
16. “With recent graduates owing an average of $35,200 as student debt and their incomes remaining stagnant”
Error- Wrong choice of word/ Preposition and Missing pronoun
Making the statement incomplete and the meaning vague
17. “been cut deeply, means”
Error- Missing Punctuation mark
Since the subject is too long to recognize comfortably, it must be parted by a comma
18. “in future”
Error- Wrong choice of Preposition and unnecessary use of the article “the”
19. “High tuition rates and debt have made living independently an impossible goal for many new graduates”
20. “Many graduates who are”
Error- Confusion arising from an inappropriately used sentence pattern
Essay 2: Tuition costs in Canada
In (1)today's society, a post-secondary education is seen as a vital asset that is necessary to be successful and competitive in the marketplace. The importance that people in Canada place on University education is (2)evidenced by the substantial increase in enrollment over the last decade. 2011 saw university enrolment (3)surpass one million for the first time ever. However, even with (4)these increases in enrolment, Canadian students have to invest more money than ever in their education. In addition, these costs are also continuously increasing. Most notably, tuition (5)fees are rising faster than incomes and inflatio6n, ensuring middle and low income families a tough time to afford their children's education. Focus will (6)be place on the effect of increasing tuition on Canadian families, (7)student reactions, and a Canada's place on tuition costs as compared to the rest of the world.
Given (8)Canadian society's high placed value on university education, it is no surprise that Canadian parents are encouraging their children to achieve a post-secondary degree. However, (9)families are faced with difficult decisions on how to finance such an education more than ever. Recent reports are suggesting that tuition is becoming less affordable for many Canadians. What is often not noted is that many students study away from home, adding living costs to the already high tuition fees. "The high cost of post-secondary education is also putting stress in families, with some having to take out second mortgages or delay retirement to pay for their children's tuition" (Canadian Press, 2012). It is a difficult situation as either parents take the burden of these costs or their children take out loans, which could put them into substantial debt after they graduate. This has caused much unrest throughout the country as especially middle and low income families have hard decisions to make on how their children can attain a degree. "In Ontario, the government provides about 46 percent of university operating funding, while students provide 41 percent. This represents a significant change from 20 years ago, when government funding accounted for 66 percent of university operating funding and tuition fees accounted for 25 percent" (OCUFA, 2013). This is especially troubling for middle and low income families as it is estimated that it will take the average family 195 days for a middle income family to earn the money to pay for four years of tuition.
Student- reactions to the increase in tuition fees have been negative. Many are upset at the yearly hikes in tuition, and those hikes are increasing now more than ever. Student debt and unemployment are at the forefront of these negative reactions. Additionally, assistance programs like OSAP have become less reliable over the years even with the increases in tuition. "While provincial governments are fairly open to fee hikes (and the percentage by which this will happen annually), assistance programs are far less predictable" (Shaker, 2013). This means that many students are unsure whether their provincial student loans will even cover the cost of tuition, let alone living,(10) thereby potentially furthering their debt through bank loans. However, student loans and debt would not be such a big issue if it were not for the high unemployment rate after graduation. In fact, "fifty three percent of recent college graduates are jobless or underemployed, the highest in 11 years" (Khan, 2013). This means that many students' future after graduation is murky at best. However, what is important to note is that even though many students are upset, and even though tuition fees keep rising, enrolment has never been so high.
Lastly, tuition fees in Canada are amongst the highest in the world. A recent study indicated that Canada has the fifth highest tuition fees, with Alberta being the most expensive province. Meanwhile, countries like Germany and Finland highly prioritize public investment in post-secondary education. In Germany for instance, tuition fees are only common in very few schools, and are nowhere near comparable in cost to fees in Canada. Students are only required to pay a small confirmation fee, often ranging in the 50 Euro mark.
In conclusion, tuition fees in Canada are impacting the financial (11)well being of students and their families in negative ways. The future does not look good when it comes to paying for post-secondary education, and unless Canada adopts a system similar to that of Finland or Germany, the potential will remain for students to be debt ridden until the later stages of their (12)life.
List of Errors
1.”Present”
Error- Spoken trait; used only in informal writing and speaking contexts
2. “evident”
Error- Wrong form of the word
3. “surpassing”
Error- Wrong form of the word
4. “this increase”
Error- Error in number; increase is uncountable without applying any unit of measurement to it
5. “fee is rising faster than income”
Error- Wrong use of number or countable – uncountable form
6. “be placed”
Error- Wrong form of Verb in the wrong form; in passive expression it should be past participle form
7. “students’ reactions” or “student- reactions”
Error- Subjective spoken expression; too unusual in common application
8. “the high value Canadian society places on university education”
Error- Structure is inappropriate for written form
9. “families are faced, more than ever, with difficult decisions on how to finance such an education”
10. “alone living; thereby”
Error- Wrong Punctuation mark; the latter part is a relevant but additional remak/information
11. “wellbeing”
12. “lives”
Error- Error of Number, and thematically in this essay one of the most important focus is the number of students and their families who are affected by the fees- increase.
References
Khan, S. (2013). What College Could be Like. Communications Of The ACM, 56(1), 41-43. Doi:10.1145/2398356.2398370
Shaker, E. (2013). Canada's high average tuition cost to rise 13% more. CCPA Monitor, 20(5), 30
Jung Cheol, S., & Milton, S. (2008). Student response to tuition increase by academic majors: empirical grounds for a cost-related tuition policy. Higher Education, 55(6), 719-734
Tuition fees rising faster than incomes and inflation. (2012, 09 11). McLean's on campus. Retrieved from http://oncampus.macleans.ca/education/2012/09/11/tuition-fees-rising-faster-than-incomes-and-inflation/
Ontario's professors concerned about new report's projected rise in tuition and ancillary fees. (2013, September 11).OCUFA. Retrieved October 30, 2013, from http://ocufa.on.ca/2013/ontarios-professors-concerned-about-new-reports-projected-rise-in-tuition-and-ancillary-fees/
The impact of rising tuition fees on Ontario families. (n.d.). Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives. Retrieved October 30, 2013, from http://www.policyalternatives.ca/newsroom/updates/impact-rising-tuition-fees-ontario-families
Essay 3: Overfishing as a Global Issue
Overfishing is a devastating practice that is threatening the wellbeing of the Oceans' ecosystem as well as the existence of fish. The issue is complex, as many players are responsible in maintaining an ecosystem's delicate balance. In an article pusblished in Science magazine, the authors predicted a collapse of all the marine species by 2048 due to overfishing.
Responsible fishing and sustainable techniques are essential in order to not disrupt the marine environment.
Essay 4: A Rising Issue
Tuition costs have been steadily rising in Canada, placing a large burden on university students. Students of today are required to manage a wide variety of (1)responsibilities; it is not uncommon for (2)scholastics to be merely one element on a long and grueling priority list. As tuition costs go up, more students must work in order to sustain themselves (3)in combination with full time studies; sadly, this (4)takes away from students' ability to achieve good grades and a quality education.
According to the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives, "The average cost of tuition and compulsory fees for Canadian undergraduate students will rise by almost 13% over the next four(5) years", an indication this trend will continue to get worse (Petrena). As more students secure university degrees, the university degree itself has become diluted. New educational standards imprint themselves on the job market (6)such that a degree, in itself, has become a minimum requirement. To get ahead, more students are (7)finding they must pursue graduate degrees to obtain the employment they desire. As this requirement becomes a reality, (8)grad school administration officers must look(9) to students' grade point average, to determine if they are suitable for the chance to continue such studies. Is it really fair to compare a student who is able to solely focus on their studies, versus a student who struggles to combine school and work to pay for raising tuition with little or no help? Rhetorical questions aside, this issue is an imbalanced equation.
To meet the outcry of public concern, something must be done to mediate these costs. "Tuition is expected to reach close to $40,000 for a four-year degree in Canada by the time (10)today's infant heads of to university - or as much as $110,000, including the cost of textbooks and accommodation"(McMahon). Looking in another direction may impose an alternate solution to such a problem. In Germany, their secondary education system is mostly public, similar to Canada's system. Specific to Germany, however, only two out of sixteen universities charge any tuition costs at all, and many private and public institutions provide financial assistance for books and accommodations (Wikipedia). This is an attempt to level the playing field. The German system prioritizes educational attainment for its (11)citizens, a realization that attending university and studying intently requires ones' full attention. In theory, students are free to focus on school without the burden of paying rising tuition costs. When a students' time is divided amongst school and work, this places (12)far to great of burden on success.
What can students of Ontario do to combat these rising costs? Quebec stands out as a shining example of a student populous willing to fight for what they believe in. In 2012, thousands of Quebec students marched the streets to protest rising tuition costs, in an attempt to change the educational fiscal structure. Their stand reached public headlines as they allocated their fight towards awareness, making education attainable for everyone regardless of socio-economic background. Is it not unfeasible to imagine a similar story playing itself out in Ontario? All it takes is a spark. Ontario students are forced to pay the highest tuition costs in Canada, "and will see its tuition and other fees climb from $8,403 this fall to an estimated $9,517 in 2016-17"(Petrena). Surely, this will provide much needed ammunition in the fight for accessibility and fairness in education across the province.
Governments will argue Canada's public education system is doing what it can for university students. They will highlight a certain percentage of tax dollars going towards post-secondary education. (13)True, maybe it is better than nothing. Pulling optimism out of a bad situation is one thing, but Canada was built upon fundamental freedoms and the promise of opportunity. If Canada is to follow the equality of opportunity agenda it claims to put forth, it needs to look (14)to countries such as Germany and increase the fiscal contribution to students. Students should have the opportunity to focus on their studies without the pressures of raising costs. If anything, we can look to provinces like Quebec and see that (15)we do in fact have (16)options, we can fight to try and stall these projections, and make education (particularly graduate programs) more attainable for all.
List of Errors
1.”responsibilities. It is not”
Error- Run on
It is hampering the flow of the issue presented.
2. “Scholastics”
Error- Capitalization; name of a paper
3. “along with”
Error- Wrong or subjective choice of words; creates semantic inconvenience. Combination with – is more suited in a process description where the individual elements are obvious.
4. “full time studies. Sadly, this hinders /inhibits/hampers”
Error- First, it is Run on. Second, spoken expression inappropriate for formal written composition. It is also making the discourse complex and wordy
5. “years; an indication”
Error- Application of wrong Punctuation mark; since the latter relevant part is related without any transition words, it should be, by rule, connected using a semicolon
6. “so much”
Error- Wrong choice of words; the word such indicates only a condition whereas here the sense of intensity or quantity needed to be addressed
7. “finding that they”
Error- Incomplete and confusing expression evoking confusion and difficulty in understanding the message
8. “Graduate”
Error- Spoken and informal spoken expression
9. “at”
Error- Wrong choice of Preposition
10. “an infant today heads off to”
Error- Spoken expression inappropriate in written form and spelling mistake/ wrong choice of word
11. “citizens; a realization”
Error- Wrong Punctuation mark; should be a semicolon which is used to connect a relevant piece of information or statement
12. “far too great a burden”
Error- Wrong choice of Preposition and wrong phrase/ expression
13. “True; may be it”
Error- Wrong Punctuation mark and spelling
14. “at”
Error- Wrong Preposition
15. “we do, in fact,”
Error- Wrong use of Transition Words; such relevant and emphatic expressions must be separated from the main sentence and be treated as extra addition or information
16. “options. We can”
Error- Run on
Works Cited
McMahon, Tamsin. "Million-dollar babies From crushing daycare fees to saving for university, the cost of having kids is reaching astonishing new heights." http://www2.macleans.ca. Macleans, 30 09 2013. Web. 31 Oct 2013.
Petrina, Stephen. "Cost of university education in Canada to rise 13% over next four years: CCPA study." http://blogs.ubc.ca. Workplace Blog, 13 09 2013. Web. 31 Oct 2013.
Wikipedia, . "Education in Germany." http://en.wikipedia.org. Wikipedia. Web. 31 Oct 2013.
