Introduction
The influence of the family's life to the members of the family has diminished immensely in the past century especially in developed countries. As the culture spreads throughout the globe to conservative societies, more cases of divorce, separation and single-parent families increase. The instability and increased cases of collapsing marriages are attributed to the freedom the young people explore in making their decisions without parental consent or active involvement of senior (and experienced) family members. In many industrialized countries, families experience violence and abuse more than in primitive, conservative societies. As the young people choose to live with the consequences of their choices, they rely on their respective governments to protect their rights and choices. This study aims to find the current extent of the impact of families on intimate relationships, and the impact of freedom to the choices that young people make in indulging in intimate relationships.
Up until colonization in the 18th Century, most nations consisted societies that comprised extended families with many relatives living together in household. The tribal villages in many parts of the world including America, Africa, Asia and New Zealand valued the history of their origins and the importance of reproducing to maintain their lineages. However, the European influence that came with colonization valued nuclear family structure that quickly replaced the tribal and clan loyalty.
After colonization in the 20th Century (mostly in Africa and Asia), most countries had adopted the culture that placed priority on the European structure of nuclear families. The European style of a nuclear family based on Christian values enhanced individualism in society and private ownership of property (such as land that was originally communal in pre-colonial times). The Church based institution on marriage focused on vital elements such as the economic factor and sexual relationship (between the parents) in determining the success in the family. The financial status of the family was the driving force in raising the children by not only feeding but also educating them. Before the colonization era, most families acknowledged polygamy mainly as a means of having a bigger family that will guarantee not only the family security, but also provide a larger work-force to provide food for the family's survival. A large family had more opportunities in the communities for leadership positions.
Single-parent families
Carribbean men are notorious for abandoning their families. As a result, many African-Caribbean children grow in single-parent families (where the parent is the mother). According to Silva and Smart, the most sensible way to explain the high rates of dysfunctional marriages is the notions and beliefs held by the people. Since the age of slavery, marriage's most important role was for union and conjugal fulfillment.2
The importance of the family roles and legality issues is continuing to lose concern among liberal people. The functions and responsibilities (such as financial and social) that affect the daily lives of the members (whether homo-sexual or heterosexual) are more meaningful than the legal definition or the family. The social relationship strongly determines the character and behavior of the members outweighs the legal or blood ties existing within them.9 Most governments, in striving to solve custody issues and financial issues, base their focus on households that have either one or two adults and children. However, with increased pressure from advocacy groups and activists, governments (such as the Canadian and the U.S governments) have consented to expand their scope to extended families and same-sex marriage families. This pressure comes with the rapidly increasing cases of divorce, same-sex marriages, sexual abuse and single-parent families especially in the past 50 years.
Friendships
Friendships are not necessarily good relationships to people. Although most people assume that by referring to another person as a friend means that they are of benefit to the people, friends can also offer negative influence to people.8 Advanced technology has provided various ways to interact with new people and make friends out of them effortlessly and easily. These avenues have affected our conception and conduct on relationships.13 Through electronic mail, social sites and gaming websites, it is easier to create friends than earlier years where the Internet was unavailable to the public. One does not need to necessarily meet someone in person to interact and build relationships.3
A socially stable family (whether nuclear or extended) influences the marriages and families that emanate from it. A family that focuses its available resources in building strong social structures leads to happy, contented and successful extended families. 15
Intimate relationships may arise from personal preference, but the ultimate Choice of partners is influenced by one's family conditions and structure. The conditions include the financial standards, exposure to the media and technology representations, friends and family ideas and knowledge on rights and freedom.
One popular dating site is rsvp.com that provides the vital opportunity for a potential partner to display their desirable interests and characteristics hoping to find a matching partner with similar characteristics.
A research conducted in Sydney, Australia, in 2006, by the University of Western Sydney, indicated that most users of the dating sites are young people who are through with high-school or are graduated from Colleges. (Baker, 2014). More young people are joining the sites, and the number is rapidly rising globally. There are also more dating sites available for finding partners.
Functionalism.
The functionalism theory defines roles by separating duties expected of men (as stronger and aggressive beings) and women (as weaker and more sensitive beings). The roles commonly accepted in society are divided into socialization (as the ultimate, most important role), instrumental (where men work to support their families) and expressive role (where women nurture the children).4
Every culture seeks to guide young ones to realize their roles according to gender. The most popular theory is the functionalist theory that focuses on how family structures influence the behavior of members and realization of the roles according to gender.10 By defining the roles of the family, its religion, the financial status and government policies, one's develops their character. With reduced influence of family laws on members, other external bodies and authorities such as religion, education systems and the governments determine a big part of the character of individuals in this generation. The behavior includes their choice of life-time partners.
The functionalism theory defines roles by separating duties expected of men (as stronger and aggressive beings) and women (as weaker and more sensitive beings). The roles commonly accepted in society are divided into socialization (as the ultimate, most important role), instrumental (where men work to support their families) and expressive role (where women nurture the children).
Critics of the theory assert that different cultures with the same basic environments and opportunities (such as developed countries) fail to display similar family structures and results thereby disapproving the practicability of the theory
the Political economy perspective
Political economy perspective bases on Marxist theory of socialism and began in 1960. Like the functionalism theory, it too, states that; the wider social structure shapes family structures and choices of intimate relationships depending on the financial status and social classes. However, this political economy perspective was popularized as it proceeded to protect the black civil rights (during the time Martin Luther King Junior), same-sex relationships and the Vietnam War victims.
The current generation of young people demand freedom from family interference in their private issues especially their choices of spouses. In seeking protection, these liberal lovers depend on the ever increasing policies of the various bodies that protect human rights. Such bodies that focus their efforts especially in redeeming the girls from violence, sexual and child labor have increased across the globe and protect those who run to them for refuge.7
Same-sex marriages
Since partnering depends squarely on the two mutually consenting adults in a relationship today, there are more open same-sex marriages (that are not necessarily successful). In contrast to the past generations (where a marriage decision depended on the consent of not only the nuclear family but more elderly relatives), the new generation of families is more liberal. For instance, it allows the young ones to enter into homo-sexual marriages as is within their human right.5 As a result of the freedom offered to the young people in especially industrialized countries, they opt to experiment their intimacy with same-sex partners.16
On-line dating
Electronic mail, social sites and gaming websites ease the creation of friends than earlier years where the Internet was unavailable to the public.11 One does not need to necessarily meet someone in person to interact and build relationships. Rapidly advancing technology in the recent past has created platforms for potential spouses to interact and establish intimate relationships via the Internet. (Smart, 2000) The new method of meeting and creating relationships bases on information and photos of the people available on the dating sites. The relationships, however, contain many liars as people are disappointed when they meet with the real people. For instance, a lady may post a photo of either another attractive woman or a picture of her when she was younger to lure a potential date.
Divorce
High rates of divorce attribute their cause on the lack of dependence on family concerns and influence in choosing lifetime partners for marriage. After Divorce, some families fail to emerge and recover from the destruction caused by the drift in the marriage. Hatred and grudge in the children not only weighs them down but also negatively influences their marriages. As a result of experiencing the divorce process of one's parents, the child is likely to go through the same process too when they grow up.
cohabitation
Fearing responsibility and risk of breaking up, they opt not to officiate their marriages but live mutually as long as they agree.14 The marriage is an experiment without commitment. However, the damage to the partner includes spending precious youthful time in an experimental relationship and putting the children at risk of uncertainty concerning their parents’ future in the household.6 There are many cases of minors cohabiting or engaging in pre-marital and unsafe sexual behavior. Without proper counsel and advice, they break up as fast soon after they have an unresolved issue in their marriage.
Conclusion.
The current trend that is spreading fast from industrialized countries to under-developed countries across the globe is infectious but costly. Although the notions are liberal and respect the rights of people, the outcome is most likely disastrous as it leads to more cases of broken marriages. The types of structures modern families have are a reflection of the families that they came lived with in their childhood. The more liberal a family is, the more likely the children are bound to make poor decisions without parental consent or advice. The patterns of homo-sexuality, violence and abuse, divorce and single-parenthood, re-partnership and cohabiting can be traced from the family life the people lived. The trends in marriages are easily identified and predicted by studying and observing the older generation of their parents. Disregarding the courtship (friendship process) is a major setback in maintaining an intimate relationship when faced with economic and social challenges.
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