Introduction
In a catchy and rather humorous chapter titled “Courting” Helen Fisher bares basic yet essential truths on how people court. Jeff Abugov’s 1999 Mock documentary titled “The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human” mirrors entirely all of Fisher’s assertions. A narrator tells the story of Billy (Mackenzie Austin), a shy young man who goes out looking for a date at a nightclub. He meets a beautiful girl named Jenny Smith (Carmen Electra). Billy gets Jenny’s phone number but loses it. He searches for the number frantically, finally resorting to calling all people named Jenny Smith from a directory. They finally reunite and start dating. Billy fears that he will be “trapped” into marriage if he tells Jenny that he loves her. After dating for one year, the couple takes a vacation and they hastily have sex without contraceptives and Jenny conceives. Billy accuses her of “trapping” him into marriage and they fall apart. Jenny gets bad advice from his friends and goes to procure an abortion. Billy reconsiders his actions rushes to stops Jenny from proceeding with the abortion. He finds Jenny had also decided to keep the child. The film ends in the couple getting married as they celebrate the birth of their child. Courtship as presented in this film compounds Fisher’s assertions. The five steps; getting attention, recognition, talk, touch and body synchrony are almost universal among all courtships and when executed properly they often lead to strong relationships.
In the film, the narration draws the viewers’ attention to the subtle yet crucial steps towards the successful courtship that unfolds. To start with, Jenny and Billy eye each other in a manner as explained by Fisher. Upon entering the nightclub with his two friends, Billy heads to the counter where he orders a beer and leans on something. This can be equated to fisher’s assertion of “establishing a territory” (Fisher, 26). He readjusts his body, takes a huge gulp with a rather exaggerated swing of the arm. Fisher would equate this to executing the first step of courtship - “getting attention”. Fisher would take note of how Billy sipped his beer as it perfectly matches her statement that, “instead of simply using a wrist to stir a drink, men often employ the entire arm, as if stirring mud” (Fisher, 26). Jenny on the other hand is also seeking attention by dancing vigorously some meters from the counter from where Billy and other males are admiring women in the club. Fisher notes that young women attract attention by noting that “often they incorporate a battery of feminine movesthey twist their curls, tilt their curls, tilt their heads, look up coyly, giggle, raise their brows, flick their tongue, lick their upper lips, blush and hide their faces in order to signal their presence” (Fisher, 26). In her vigorous dancing and seemingly jovial mood, Jenny was doing all the above. She successfully got Billy’s attention!
The second step of courtship “recognition” happens instantly in a similar manner as explained by Fisher. “Stage two starts when eyes meet eyes; one or the other potential lover acknowledges the demarche with a smile or a slight body shift and the couple move into talking stage” (Fisher, 26). Jenny gave Billy an “open smile” which he also responded. This perfectly shows the couple executing the second step of courtship. In this case, the transition to the third stage “talking” does not really match up to Fisher’s theory. There is an interesting moment where Jenny goes back to her girlfriends and they (Billy and Jenny) steal glances at each other severally with each hiding their face each moment their eyes meet. In one instance, their eyes “lock” and they exchange “open smiles” as explained by Fisher, “lips are completely drawn back and both the upper and the lower teeth are fully exposed” (Fisher, 23). This matches Fisher’s assertions in which she talks of potential lovers having intense eye contact and exchanging open smiles before they talk to each other.
Encouraged by the smiles and the eye contact, Billy moves over to where Jenny and her friends are. The friends walk away. Fisher never touched on the behavior of friends (especially of the same sex) when one of their own is undergoing the steps of courtship. In light of someone meeting a potential lover, it would be favorable for Fisher’s theory to address the likely conduct and behavior of friends.
As per Fisher’s theory, Billy approaches Jenny with a smile and a compliment. He compliments Jenny about her dancing, “If you are not a professional dancer, you should be!” (Billy). This statement perfectly befits Fisher’s description of “grooming talk” as being characteristically “meaningless conversation (started as compliments or questions)where voices become higher, softer” (Fisher, 27). Billy repeats the compliment over loud music in the club as Jenny seemingly pretends not to hear him. According to Fisher, this scenario would amount to Jenny urging Billy to talk on in a bid to push the courtship steps further. Interestingly, Jenny insists that she cannot hear and Billy is compelled to demonstrate. He dances in a sexually suggestive manner and Jenny is displeased with him. She pours her drink on him and leaves. In this case, Fisher would opine that Billy went overboard and this angered Jenny.
Jenny spent the rest of her evening wading off interests from other males. She refused the advances of some three men on grounds of “lacking intellect”, “lacking a warrior’s spirit”, and “smelling funny” (Abugov, 1999). As such, it appears that before people court, they seize each other for suitability and compatibility based on masculinity, femininity among other qualities. It would be interesting to have Fisher’s theory mention whether people can tell whether their potential lovers have the qualities they look for. It would be interesting to hear Fisher’s opinion on the behavior and conduct of people who have been attracted to each other but have not gone through the first five steps of courtship successfully as it happened to Jenny and Billy.
The two later meet and Billy apologizes to Jenny for his earlier misconduct. Jenny accepts the apology after Billy made it clear that he was simply appreciating her dancing skills. She instantly states, “a guy apologizing.that’s the way to start a relationship!” In this case, Fisher would most likely interpret this to mean strong attraction to unique male trait (humbleness and acceptance of wrongdoing) that the female desired from a potential lover. She would also read this scenario as he woman giving the male a hint to take over “the mantle” and start the relationship since it is men who take the actual and conscious steps of starting relationships. Fisher notes that, “westerners cling to the concept that men are the seducers and women the coy, submissive recipients of male overtures” (33). Notably, this “proposition” step comes before the fourth step of courtship “touch”. Though Fisher’s theory addresses sequence of steps as observed after a study, it is notable from this film that some steps such as touch might be replaced by others such as a “proposition” for a future meeting from one of the parties.
The first notable incidence of the fourth step “touch” occurs when Billy and Jenny shake hands after the apology. They also share their names. In an interesting twist, Billy leans over Jenny’s shoulder, spells her perfume and takes a guess. Jenny does the same. The two also talk animatedly and move their heads in unison. This can be equated to the fifth step of courtship “body synchrony”. The narrator states that they smell each other in a similar manner to animals that are set to mate. Fisher’s theory does not address how people who have just met and gone through the five steps of courtship ‘seize” each other up for compatibility.
Conclusion
Jeff Abugov’s 1999 Mock documentary “The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human” mirrors entirely all of Fisher’s assertions about “courtship”. The first five steps of courtship “the five steps; getting attention, recognition, talk, touch and body synchrony” are perfectly played out by Billy and Jenny in a nightclub. Jenny attracts attention by dancing vigorously, their eyes meet and they smile at each other, Billy moves and compliments Jenny about her dancing, they later shake hands and talk animatedly as they move their heads and bodies in unison. Fisher’s theory could have somehow addressed some incidences such as same-sex friends moving away when a potential suitor came, fending off the interests of “unfavorable suitors”, as well as issues of compatibility testing through smelling. In all, the scenario played out in the documentary, “Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human” perfectly proves Fisher’s assertions about courtship.
Works Cited
Fisher, Helen E. Anatomy of Love: The Mysteries of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray. New York: Fawcett Columbine, 1994. Print.
Abugov, Jeff. Dir. The mating habits of earth bound humans Columbia Tristar Home Entertainment. 1999. DVD.
