One of the greatest tests to humanity since time immemorial is how individuals have learnt to accept and approach issues to do with death and grieving. Many are the times when individuals are usually left in states that may have profound effects on their well-being. As such, there is the need to have a regime that will be helpful in dealing with the challenges that are brought about by death. To solve these problems, the Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief were developed to assist individuals with the challenges brought about by grieving and restore a person to their original state of joy or happiness. Nicholas Woterstorff’s reflections in Lament For a Son present the pains that a father undergo in the quest for trying to accept that indeed his son is dead and presents the basis under which the father tries to cope up with the situation (Wolterstorff, 1987). The Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief entail denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Wolterstorff shows a state of denial in the sense that he acknowledges that his son, Eric, has been a loyal child all along and that since even though most of his friends decided to move away and continue with their lives, he decides to remain behind to carry on with his studies. The state of denial is also manifested when Wolterstorff posits that it is wrong for parents to bury their children since children are supposed to be the future and hence they are the ones supposed to bury their parents (Wolterstorff, 1987). He is also seen showing signs of anger since he is pretty sure that if he would have accompanied Eric to his mountain climbing excursion, then maybe the catastrophe would not have occurred. He is also angered that Eric left when he was still showing signs of a great future ahead but sadly, death cut short of these great plans his son had. Additionally, he s also angered by the fact that the society usually views death as a commonality but he does not buy these sentiments since Eric was such a special child to him and, thus, his dismissal cannot just be overwritten just like other deaths to have ever occurred (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2014).
Wolterstorff, however, digresses and starts to have to bargain with himself when he assembles his family and tells them to continue living their lives as if Eric was still alive (Wolterstorff, 1987). This is a vital step in assisting him to try to cope up with the situation. His sense of bargain is also manifested when he decides to downplay the traditional norm that men are not supposed to weep for the dead. This step also assists him to overcome his grief. He then enters the depression phase where he acknowledges that he cannot be with his son a situation which makes him miss him even more. He does not want any comforting words from the people around him since the words are not commensurate with the depression filling his heart (Kübler-Ross & Kessler, 2014). His depressive state is worsened by the fact that he dreams of him being in a battlefield which symbolically means that had he been more careful, he would have helped prevent his son’s death. However, despite all these challenges Wolterstorff is able to finally find his joy again because of his belief in God. He acknowledges that God can be found in the light and that He is the source of all hope for humankind. He believes that God protects his son wherever he is because He suffers and consoles with mourners. Such realizations make him have endless joy in his heart and which makes him cope with his loss.
The fact that Wolterstorff believes in God, he is sure that on the Day of Atonement, there is an assurance that he will get another opportunity to meet up with his son. As such, the fact that he believes in and has trust in the Lord serves the purpose of him being able to overcome any forms of grief and challenges that may come his way (Wolterstorff, 1987). He is also hopeful that God will continue protecting his son for him till the day that they will meet again. Therefore, he is very hopeful that indeed, it is through resurrection that he will be able to do away with his grieving once and for all. This comprehension, therefore, plays a crucial role in comforting Wolterstorff.
References
Kübler-Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2014). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss. Simon and Schuster.
Wolterstorff, N. (1987). Lament for a Son (1st ed.). Eerdmans Pub Co.
New International Version. (2011). Luke 24 - Jesus Has Risen - On the first day of - Bible Gateway. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+24
