Interview A Senior CitizenName:Institutional Affiliation:
Q: How many siblings do you have?
A: 7
Q: How long were your parents married?
A: 48 years
Q: Did most of the members of your family live in good health into their old age?
A: Relatively. My sister died of a heart attack when she was 40 and my father struggled with high blood pressure but for the most part we are healthy. We work out a lot. My mom tried to feed us healthy and teach us how to cook healthy. My dad encouraged us to stay active.
Q: Did you like school? How was school for you?
A: I did not like school. It was boring, I felt it was a waste of time. I would have rather been painting. I liked to paint. My younger brothers were bullied too. We didn’t have much. I always felt bad for them. School just wasn’t fun.
Q: What did you do for a career? Did you enjoy it? Were you paid?
A: I was a nurse, which I enjoyed very much. I like helping people. I would have liked to be an artist but that didn’t pay and I was a mother of three. My husband worked but we wanted to give them more than we had.
Q: Do you work now?
A: Happily retired but I do volunteer when I want to get out of the house.
Q: Do you have many friends?
A: I do. I have a lot of free time since I stopped working, I like to maintain my relationships. I consider that my work now. They keep my feeling young, them and my children.
Q: Do you feel like you and your husband co-parented effectively.
A: We did, yeah. We were both in charge of discipline but we were both in charge of love too. There was no “bad cop”. He’s a great man to parent children with. I’m very lucky.
Q: Can you tell me a few significant life events for you?
A: Of course when I met Jim (her husband) and the birth of my children. The birth of my grandchildren was wonderful too. Your children being born is special but being a grandma is something new and fun. Also when I went back to college and graduated, and the day I received my black belt in karate. I was 66. You’re never too old.
Q: What are some significant life transitions to you?
A: When my children left home was the hardest. Jim Jr. was the last. I’m still a parent but not having them here to take care of every second of the dayyou think you will enjoy it but you don’t really. Its never the same. You always want the busy, noisy house that you didn’t really think you were enjoying at the time. Slowly I’ve been filling my time up but those were the best years of my life.
Q: How about any memorable experiences for you? Anything that stands out since your children have left or since you have retired?
A: Receiving my black belt was really memorable. My kids and husband knew I could. They knew me. Proving a few of my friends wrong was nice though. “You’re too old,” that’s what they told me. Too old? I don’t even know what that means. My father worked until he was bedridden with a stroke. My mother was participating in craft fairs, volunteering, cyclinganything she wanted until her body wouldn’t let her. My siblings are the same. We are a family of movers.
Senior citizens are often overlooked in society today. Once an individual reaches a certain age society has decided that they are no longer of any use to the system and they are to be ignored. What could these elderly people do that would impress anybody? They are old and unable to do basic tasks for themselves, right? Personally I have never subscribed to this stereotypical, archaic way of thinking. And the individual, whose name is being withheld for confidentiality purposes, that I chose to interview is a prime example of why this stereotype needs to be forgotten. She is vivacious and active with a spirit more sprightly than many teenagers I know. Senior citizens should not only be shown more respect but more attention; they have interesting stories and personalities to share with us.
The elderly woman I chose to interview is 79. She dresses as you would imagine any grandmother would dress, sitting before me in a modesty sweater and comfortable khaki pants. Her hair is greying; before I began to interview her she expressed that she hated it when it first started to grow in but has since accepted it and now thinks it gives her character. She laughs a lot, I got the idea that most of the pronounced lines on her face were brought on from being satisfied and happy with life. The interviewee was a visibly relaxed woman who seemed to genuinely enjoy my company as well as somebody who took an interest in her life.
The interviewee responded most strongly to two questions pertaining to life transitions and memorable events. She was deeply moved when recalling her children leaving the nest. It was clear throughout the interview that she had ambitions and interests outside being a mother: she pursued different workouts, cooking, education, loved her job, and had a passion for painting. Many of her works of art hung throughout the house and they were very good. However it was easy to see that she was a mother first and her children being out of the house was bittersweet for her as well as her husband. She missed them and the chaos they brought but was so satisfied and happy that they were capable of living lives of their own, something she rightfully took partial responsibility for. She was evidently pleased with herself about earning her black belt in karate despite her age at the time as well as the doubts of her friends. She pointed it out, hanging above one of her favorite painting along with her certificate and a picture of her being promoted by her sensei. It was, she said, one of the only things she accomplished all on her own and to do so at that age was something that made her feel validated. She may have been old but she was still worth so much more than people thought. Not to mention the fact that her body could perform at that level gave her much needed self-confidence. According to Maureen Tam in Active Ageing, Active Learning: Issues and Challenges, this is a very important part of maintaining a healthy outlook as the individual ages
Some of the interviewee’s responses did surprise me. The fact that her mother encouraged both my interviewee, her sisters, and brothers to cook healthy food is not indicative of the time period my interviewee grew up in. I expected boys cooking food to be unheard of but this was a pleasant surprised to take from the interview, doubly so because it involved healthy food. I was also surprised to hear that her father was encouraging her sisters to remain active and stay healthy. My own grandmothers were encouraged to stay in the kitchen, cooking. Sports and fitness activities were not encouraged. This was yet another pleasant surprise during the interview. It was also surprising to hear the type of co-parenting my interviewee and her husband had agreed on. Normally males were in charge of discipline while females dolled out affection; that both parents were responsible for discipline as well as love made me reassess what I thought I knew about parenting during this age. Of course it was surprising to hear that my interviewee earned her black belt at the age of 66; I do not think I have the athletic ability to do that at my age! She was truly a marvel and full of amazing stories.
Meaningful and significant moments in the interviewee’s life were seemingly typical but she immediately became emotional discussing them, suggesting that she really felt that her life had been fulfilled and worth something. She was teary-eyed and smiling as she recalled meeting her husband and the births of her three children. A special calm fell over her as she talked about being a grandma, stating that it felt new each time a grandchild was born. “It never felt old to me,” she said. The years faded and were replaced by a sense of pride and determination as she discussed going back to college and graduating. She went back at the age of 40, graduating with a BA in Psychology. She was juggling three teenagers and a fulltime job by then but she managed to graduate with Honors, something that brought her a sense of great satisfaction. That same sense of pride and satisfaction filled the entire room as she began discussing the memory of receiving her black belt. Having happy memories to look back on is a crucial part of a positive outlook later on in life, as stated in Collaborative Network Approach to Active Aging by Camarinha-Matos and Ferrada (2011). Because she seemed to have lived such a full an interesting life it was no surprise that she was able to be so happy and lively during our interview. Her black belt in particular was undeniably one of the things she was most proud of because it was something she did all on her own. It sounded, from my point of view, like it was something she needed to prove she could do just for herself.
The only life transition my interviewee mentioned was the transition from a full nest to an empty nest. It was very difficult for her but it did not seem to have crippled or traumatized her. She obviously missed her children but was happy they were living their own lives. She did not comment specifically on a coping method though according to studies shown in Positive Approaches to Coping with the Challenges of Aging: research Priorities some form of coping with transitions such as these is very important . My interviewee did remark that she was thrilled they had children of their own and they were able to experience what she experienced. Once she held them in her arms all she had wanted was to watch them grow and hoped they would one day know what it was like to love somebody in the way that she loved them. She expressed that they had all found loving relationships like she had found with her husband, and that she hoped the two had helped set a precedent for her children to compare future partners too. After they were gone she began working more hours, traveling with her husband, going on date nights, volunteering, and making more friends. This networking and added maintenance to her romantic relationship could have been a subsequent coping method to this life transition.
I learned so much from this short but meaningful experience. Though I never believed that just because somebody was considered a senior citizen they were useless, my interviewee showed me just how much senior citizens are capable of. She was a loving, caring woman who was active, bubbly, and as vibrant as any twenty year old woman. She seemed very interested in trying new things, even at her current age. After meeting anybody like her it would be impossible to think that a senior citizen was “useless” to society. My interviewee pledges several hours a week in volunteer time at hospitals and shelters, stays active, and even as a friskily romantic relationship with her husband. If I learned anything about this experience it is that senior citizens are not to be thought as useless but as a resource; my interviewee has lived and is still living. She could teach me a thing or two about what it is to live a full life.
References
Camarinha-Matos, L., & Ferrada, F. (2011). Collaborative Network Approach to Active Aging. Pervasive Health, 21-28.
Shardlow, S. M., Rochelle, T. M., Hung, S., Duvvuru, J., Ho, E., & Chen, H. (2011, Septmeber). Positive Approaches to Coping With The Challenges of Aging: Research Priorities. Chicago, Illinois.
Tam, M. (2011). Active Ageing, Active Learning: Issues and Challenges. New York: Springer.
