Introduction
Divorce rate in America have increased over the years. Ultimately, divorce depicts adverse effects on the three parties involved. Many children end up living with a single parent. The dominant discourse in several literatures poses that a motherly love is important in child’s being and was associated with policy shifts and legal emphasized tender doctrine. In 1970s and 1980, shift occurred and the interest of a father in the family considered important to the child. Relationship between men and children boosted by policy and status shifts. Over the years, children faced family disruption. In recent past, around the turn of the century, death was more to cause parent separation vis-à-vis the divorce. In USA alone, 25 percent of the children expiring parent death before 15, in reference with 8 percentage of those experienced parental divorce. Americans believed two-parent family as the basis of better and successful development and socialization of children. Ultimately, parental death causes many problems to children depression, suicidal at later stage in life and delinquency.
Statistics showed that in America the average age for men and women to get married is age 29 and 27 respectively. 88 percent of those both men and women of age 20 and 29 believes one need a partner. Interviews on women age 18 showed a decrease of divorce rate, from 59 percent for those in their 15-year marriage and 36 percent on their 20-year marriage respectively. All marriage involving spouses attaining 25 years and above 50 percent, ends up failing. In a period of 5 and 7 years, 21 percent of unmarried partners still lived together.
This paper will help identify and attribute why parents’ divorce, how divorce can affect the parents and the children. Highlight factors to consider before divorce resolution. Effects of divorce on school going children and those between age 6-10. How children respond in unhappy marriages and better still how they view separation in case of an abusive marriage. The paper will address transitioning of children from divorced family while adjusting new life beside one parent.
Children who experience parental separation, in relation to the children from two-parental intact families, showed conduct problems, symptomatic of mal adjustments, low academic performance, social challenges and skewed conventionalization. Similarly, elderly persons who experienced parental separation while children, , compare to elderly people from those raised in two-parent intact families perform dismally in numerous indicators of interpersonal, psychological, and socioeconomic.
However, group’s deviations between children from two-parent and divorced families are small and diversity extensively depends on how individual children react on the issue. Children reposition to separation entirely depends on several factors, quality, and amount of communication with noncustodial parents, psychological adjustments of the parents and the degree of inter-parental conflict that frontline divorce and economic hardship of the experiencing children, stressful life events preceding divorce. All these consideration is helpful in guiding the probable legal impacts and therapeutic actions to improve children wellbeing because of divorce.
Effects on children aged age 6-10
Keen observation on the effects of children on this group during the first year of parental separation showed that they lack comprehension about divorce and its meaning. They respond separation with great confusion. Because of divorce, and that they are unaware of the happenings, they developed fear, Question like, what made one parent go? What things need done so the remainder parents do not leave them alone? Psychologically, children become self-centered. They become sensitive and anything touches those triggers self-pity and blames them causative of separation. A good example “daddy disappeared because I was rude, bad, or ugly.
Effects on School going children
Peer-oriented adolescents are less reliant to the family than when they were young. Because of this, they less impacted by divorce. In most cases, a considerable degree of anger directed to either or both parents. Adolescent by and large are concerned with peer intimacy relationships. The question on the ability of their parent to sustain a long-term relationship,
Effects of Unhappy marriage on children
Unhappiness in any family not only affects children immensely, but also causes serious problems in their development. They soon have the sense of trusting no one. Perhaps the worst effect of parents quarrelling over children is that the kids learn that the feelings are too painful; instead of exploring pleasure, they lose the meaning and accept to no to feel pleasures and become pain immune. From their observation on warring parents, children learn to be diplomats; they will tell the parents on what they want to hear not because they are liars but because they want desperately to soothe both of you.
Children by a large develop behavioral problems and personalities in unloving and unhappy families in which the parents continuously fight than in any other kind of family situation. Such conflict inhibit emotional access by the children from their parents but one parent exercises restraint and not retaliate destructively, children lose psychological access to the other parent but still have emotional contact with the restrained parent.
Factors considered between divorcing and staying in unhappy marriage.
Gender
Women tend to screen their affairs more closely, develop awareness of connection problems rather, and are more likely to recruit deliberations of bond difficulties with their partners. Men compared to women, are more probable to pull out from discussions of relationship hitches perhaps for these reason, wives are more probable than husbands to initiate separation are. Given that, spousal discord and divorce are gendered involvements. For example, several studies have shown that former wives provide longer and more complex explanations for their divorces than do former husbands. .respect to perceived causes of divorce, women compared to men, are more likely to refer to relational or emotional issues, such as basic un-happiness and a general lack of love.
Socio-economic status
Before considering any of the options, both income and education of the parents are considered. Education and income facilitates better communication and therefore marital success. Well-educated couples holds high values in marriage hence expecting the same degree of companion, emotional support, and personal fulfillment from their partners. It is of such reasons why families built and children sired. However, both parents may choose not to resolve matters on child support regardless of their education and financial status and or one-parent issue excessive financial demands. It is equally important before taking sides to review the well fare of both parent, their ability to pay bills in case of separation, readiness for eventualities and emergencies and the ability to support children education on their own. After such in-depth analysis, one is able to project the risks laid ahead.
Life course variables
With respect to age at marriage, individuals who marry at younger ages tend to report more marital problems and experience. The negative consequences of marrying at an early age may be due to psychological immaturity, unstable employment, and a truncated spousal-search process. With respect to duration of marriage, divorces occur more often in the early rather than later years of marriage argued that people generally have imperfect information about their partners during court-ship but learn substantially more about their spouses after marriage. Consequently, early divorces are disproportionately due to the discovery of basic incompatibility, conflict in values, and personality clashes. Nevertheless, couples in marriages of long duration face challenges (such as raising children, boredom with the relationship, and gradually diverging interests and attitudes) that differ from those of individuals in marriages of short duration. Indeed, studies have shown that marital duration is associated with long-term declines in marital happiness.
Conclusion
Children at any stage stand affected by parental separation. From research, 10 years after separation, children who were younger at the time of separation tend to adjust positively as compared to that e that was older. In one way or another, everyone loses in a divorce. Family properties and finances divided, children talent to a third party for parenting, and both parents work extra hours in order to raise the agreed contribution towards aiding better children lively hood. Stress and loneliness increases due to single parenthood and because no one to shoulder other responsibilities.
Future financial security becomes a problem, worries on visitation and legal battles. However, in a tumultuous marriage divorce is seemingly of relief to the kids. If a parent is constantly psychological and emotionally abusive and does so within the home environment, children benefit from separation. Quite huge number of children fears inviting their friends into their home for fear of embarrassment and in many cases; children would rather spend at other friends home until late when they are sure of sense of calm at home. When warring parents divorced, children and the other parent are at peace, relieved, less miserable and happier. Stress subsidence allows the family spends quality time together and become solid again.
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