Love may refer to the emotion that is associated with strong affection and attachment. It is the virtue that represents the human compassion, kindness and affection towards other human beings, animals or one’s self. In psychology, love is depicted as a social and a cognitive phenomenon. Robert Sternberg, who was a psychologist, came up with a triangular love theory arguing that love is made up of three different components. These components are commitment, intimacy, as well as passion.
The component of intimacy occurs when two individuals share confidences and other personal details of their lives. This is usually shown in romantic love and friendship affairs. The commitment component refers to the point where the relationship is expected to be permanent. The last component is that of passion or sexual attraction. The passionate and romantic love is in most cases shown in fluctuations. Any form of love is usually viewed to be a varying combination of the commitment, intimacy and passion components while non-love does not have any of the components. For instance, liking kind of love has intimacy, empty love has commitment only, infatuated love has passion, romantic love has passion and intimacy, companionate love has the commitment and intimacy, fatuous love has the commitment and passion, and consummate love is made up of all the three components (Sternberg, 1986).
Love experience may be divided into three main but overlapping stages. These stages are lust, attachment and attraction. Lust refers to the feeling of sexual need and is the initial stage of love. The stage is usually driven by the release of sex hormones estrogen, prolactin and testosterone, which increase the desire to mate. Sex drive involves the activity of several factors including hormonal and psychological factors. These factors are influenced by health status and lifestyle of an individual, personality, gender, genetic and the relationship status of the individual.
In women, the release of testosterone and estrogen occurs in the ovaries and impacts sex drive positively. In a woman who is yet to go to menopause, libido is influenced by the variations in the levels of hormone throughout the menstrual cycle. The libido increases from the first half and reaches the peak when ovulation takes place, which is the pinnacle of fertility in women.
Testosterone also has a positive contribution to the extent of sexual drive in men. Men who are diagnosed with low levels of testosterone are clinically said to have low libido. Men with low levels of testosterone respond well in testosterone supplements than women. Reduced testosterone level may result from metabolic syndromes such as diabetes. On the other hand, high levels of estrogen in men may result in a lowered sex drive (Simpson & Davis, 2000).
The other hormone that has an effect of sex drive of an individual is the prolactin hormone. This is a hormone that is produced and released by the pituitary gland and is involved in stimulating development of breast and production of milk in women. The level of prolactin may indicate the level of milk production, sex drive, impotence, irregular or lack of menstrual periods as well as infertility. The levels of prolactin increase throughout the pregnancy period and these levels remain elevated when the mother is breast feeding. Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA) is another steroid substance and has a role to play in the stimulation of sex drive. DHEA is usually converted into sex hormone such as testosterone and estrogen by the body. The importance of DHEA in women who are in pre-menopause stage is higher than that of testosterone (Sisson, 2013).
The effects of lust do not last for more than a month, and this causes process of love to move to move to the other stage of attraction. The romantic attraction stage is determined by the things that the partner mates will see as attractive and persuasive and that which requires time conservation and energy to pursue. The stage of attraction is more individualized and the desire for romance with a specific candidate starts developing from lust to a commitment to the chosen mate. There are various neurotransmitters that are released during this stage to stimulate the pleasure center in the brain. These neurotransmitters are responsible for the side effects such as high heart rate, loss of sleep, loss of appetite as well as intense excitement, which as seen when people are falling in love. Some of the neurotransmitters are pheromones, norepinephrine, dopamine, as well as serotonin.
Adrenalin level during this stage increases as a result of the stress response that is activated by the feeling of love for someone. High levels of adrenaline have a charming effect and may result into sweating, increased heart beating and the mouth going dry when the people who are in love meet. Dopamine level also increases at the attraction stage of love. It is the chemical that is involved in mediating pleasure in the brain and released during pleasurable moments. It stimulates one to look out for activities or occupations that are full of pleasure such as sex, drugs, food among others (Mandal, 2012). Dopamine is involved in stimulating the feeling for desire by triggering an intensive form of pleasure. The effect of dopamine in the brain is similar to that of cocaine. Increased dopamine level results in signs such as increased energy, reduced appetite, reduced need for sleep, and focused attention. The signs also include being delightful in smallest details of the relationship (At-Bristol, 2013).
Serotonin is the other important chemical that plays a significant role in the attraction stage of love. Low levels of serotonin are the ones that lead to the obsessive thinking that is attached to the romantic type of love. Increasing the levels of serotonin when an individual is in this stage may result in suppression of the emotions such as the pride and joyous mood of romance that is important for growth, as well as longevity of romantic love (Popova, 2013). The attraction stage is the most amazing stage, and it is the time when one feels truly loved, and cannot think anything else. In the attraction stage, the couples spend much of their time knowing each other and the desire for romance takes love to the next stage. The stage may last from one to three years.
Both lust and attraction stages of love are considered to be temporary stages. There is thus the need to have a third stage that will account for the longevity of relationships. The attachment stage is the stage that explains long-term relationships. This is the bonding that enhances relationships to last for years and even decades. Attachment usually based on various commitments such as children, marriage or on mutual friendships, which is based on factors such as shared interests. This stage has been associated greatly with various chemicals such as vasopressin, oxytocin than the short-term relationships.
Oxytocin, which is also referred to as the cuddle hormone, is a very powerful hormone that men and women release during orgasm. The hormone may be involved in deepening the attachment feelings making the couples feel that they are closer to one another especially after having sex. This has resulted to a theory that having more sex deepens the bond between couples. Oxytocin that is released during birth is also said to cement the strong bond that exists between babies and their mothers. It is oxytocin that is responsible for the automatic milk release when a mother sees or hears her baby.
The other hormone that is essential in the long-term commitment stage of love is vasopressin. The hormone is released after sex, and its potential role in love maintenance was discovered in prairie vole. Giving male prairie voles a drug that suppresses the vasopressin effects deteriorated the bond between them and their partners. The drug also resulted in failure by the male partner to protect the female partners from other males and lacked devotion to their partners (At-Bristol, 2013).
The stage of commitment occurs after the stage of fantasy love is over, and the couple is experiencing the real love. Love at this stage needs to be strong in order to withstand the numerous problems and distractions that it faces. Idealizing a partner may enhance the strength of a relation during the attachment stage. Idealization may also help in keeping the marriage with a lot of happiness.
Reference List
At-Bristol. (2013). The science of love. Retrieved July 14, 2013, from http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm
Mandal, A. (2012). Dopamine Functions. Retrieved July 14, 2013, from http://www.news-medical.net/health/Dopamine-Functions.aspx
Popova, M. (2013). This Is Your Brain on Love. Retrieved July 14, 2013, from http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2010/06/11/your-brain-on-love/
Simpson, E. R., & Davis, S. R. (2000). Another role highlighted for estrogens in the male: Sexual behavior. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 97(26), 14038-14040.
Sisson, M. (2013). A Guide to Maintaining a Healthy Sex Drive. Retrieved July 14, 2013, from http://www.marksdailyapple.com/a-guide-to-maintaining-a-healthy-sex-drive/#axzz2Z0TudPf6
Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119-135.
