Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oskar Wilde
Children have difficulty sharing, understanding and minding other people`s interests, especially young ones. This is a normal part of the development process. Knowing and accepting this is the first step in helping the child to grow up to be person, not a living being.
True sharing implies empathy, the ability to get into another’s mind and see things from the other points of view. Consequently, the question comes on: “How to teach the child to be sympathetic, attentive to other people`s feelings and to show why selfishness is a negative type of behavior?” There are hundreds of blogs and charts, where people share their personal observations to this topic, thousands of methods and ways to teach the child to be not selfish. But the first and most important thing that parents often forget, that children are children. Kids understand sometimes more than adults. But there is one condition to be fulfilled. The lessons that the parents try to explain should be comprehensible. That is why fairy tales are one of the richest resources of moral sense that teach children.
The world of fantasies, charming stories and interesting heroes will show the child the possible consequences of selfish behavior, it will demonstrate, what other people feel in manner that is acceptable and understandable for a kid and, above all, it will help the child to sympathize the main heroes, who are living through the bad times, because somebody has not learned to be a person to share, a person to believe and to be friends with.
“Beauty and the Beast” - it is a tale of a Merchant with three sons and three daughters, where the youngest is extremely beautiful and so is called ‘Beauty’ by all who know her. Her father, once rich, suddenly loses his wealth and has to move with his family into a small house on the countryside, where Beauty’s older sisters are so prideful and selfish that they doesn`t want to do housework or help their Father. The Father gets a chance of getting back his fortune and his youngest daughter, Beauty asks him to bring the rose, when he returns. Being unable to get any money, the Father comes upon a castle to get the rose but is caught and sentenced to death by a hideous Beas, who cares about the roses. Afterwards, only Beauty decides to help her father and she goes to live with the Beast. They become friendly and very close, but still Beauty refuses to marry the Beast. It is not until the time she returns back home and understands that the Beast almost dies from loneliness that she realizes how strongly she loves him and he, due to her love, transforms into handsome Prince.
The story begins with a handsome but selfish prince named Adam. The elderly woman who was seeking shelter asks him for help to be saved from the cold. But all she had to offer was just a single rose and he turns his back on her. This old woman turns out to have magical powers. He tries to apologize, but she sees the love only for himself in his arrogant heart. She turns the prince into a beast. She also curses the whole castle and servants, who live in it. The only way Prince Adam can break the spell and be a normal man again was “to learn to love another and earn her love in return before the last petal fell from his enchanted rose. The rose would stop blooming on his twenty-first birthday and if he doesn`t break the curse he would forever remain a lonely beast in his castle.” (Brett 16)
The first lesson.
You never know, whether the person is a witch or a simple human, but, anyway, if you can help the person – do it, and you can save yourself from being cursed.
Beautyhardly feared the monster any more, but she nearly died of fright when he said to her: "Beauty, will you marry me?" She said, trembling, "No, Beast." Every evening the Beast came to see her and spoke to herwith much good senseEach day Beauty discovered fresh signs of the monster's kindness."
The second lesson.
People and relations are one of the most important things in our life. They are dependable on what people are able to do not only for their personal`s sake but for the sake of the other person. Learn to do this and the wall between understanding of the two will be ruined as easy as the curse of the witch.
The main theme of the fairy tale – is the fight between the animal and the human roots in each person. Nevertheless, the road to the human root, to the light and kindness, to the hope and love, to the sympathy and understanding is full of obstacles, but in the end it is worth it.
The next powerful story that will capture the child and attract his attention is “Happy Prince”. The prince in the story is no living being. He is the statue of a dead prince decorated with gold leaves and precious stones. He is known as the Happy Prince because was always happy, as being alive he has never seen the suffering of the people. But the smile gradually gives way to tears. The Happy Prince cannot help crying over the misery that he observes in the houses of the poor. He decides to help them with his gold leaves and costly stones. The little swallow is his messenger. The Swallow was on his way back to his homeland when the prince had asked him to help the poor. In the end, the swallow learns the lesson, as the prince is completely run down from the jewels and gold that he had given out for people`s sake and that decorated him he was not worth attention anymore because, as the story says:
«As he is no longer beautiful he is no longer useful,»
Hence, the shallowness of the people ended up with them trying to destroy the statue, the swallow dies next to it, and they both go to Heaven where God deems them both just because of being who they are, for helping people just because they felt like to do it. (Wilde 27)
The third lesson.
It is easy to live with the closed eyes. Much more difficult is to open them. But the most difficult thing is, open the eyes and do something about it. Even though others cannot appreciate your kindness, honesty and desire to help – your conscience will be good.
The Swallow sacrifices his life and his dream to return home, helping the people. He hasn’t expected any reward but he knew it was his duty.The forth lesson.
Help people without hoping for their response. Help someone and make him being happy make us being happy too. How beautiful this life will be if we want to share our happiness with others.
One more charming story about the privilege of being devoted and open to other people`s problems is the tale “The Nightingale” written by Hans Christian Andersen. The Emperor of China gets to know that one of the most beautiful things in his empire is the song of the nightingale. As all the emperors he orders that the nightingale should be brought to him. The nightingale agrees to come to court and to sing for the Emperor. The Emperor is so delighted with the bird's song that he has tears in his eyes and decides to keep the nightingale. But then the Emperor is presented a bejeweled mechanical bird. Consequently, he loses interest in the real nightingale, who returns to the forest. Having being overused the mechanical bird eventually breaks down and it is not useful anymore. Some years later the Emperor gets deathly ill. Having got to know of the Emperor's condition the real nightingale returns to the palace. The nightingale's song scares the death away and the emperor recovers. The nightingale agrees to be a devoted servant and “to sing to the emperor of all the happenings in the empire, so that he will be known as the wisest emperor ever to live”.(Andersen 42)
Often people began to cherish something only after they have lost it. The story about the Nightingale shows its devotion, despite it was removed by another fake bird. The bird does need any rewards or promises from the Emperor. It is just happy to help:
“I have seen tears in the eyes of the emperor; that is my richest reward. The tears of an emperor have a wonderful power! God knows I am sufficiently recompensed!’ and then it again burst into its sweet heavenly song.”
The fifth lesson.
Only a sincere devotion can bring a positive result. Being ready to help despite the betrayal is the huge step and only the very few are ready to do it.
Because of the selfishness the Emperor not only has almost killed himself but also has also almost lost the devoted friend.
The sixth lesson.
Cherish what you have, because your Nightingale may not return.
Only 3 fairy tales and twice more rules dedicated to the topic selfishness. Fairy tales touch upon a great variety topics that will help the child to understand the main rules of behavior that will teach to built the strong relationships with the society, understand the reasons and direct connection between the person and its relations.
“We learn from the characters in stories, even as adults. They help us because we connect to our own lives, dreams, anxieties, and consider what we would do in their shoes. Fairy tales help children learn how to navigate life.” No matter how old you are, it is always possible to find the sense in a child story that is written not only for a child.
It is also important to mind the fact whether you’re the child is ready for the story it is going to be told. The parents should care about a lot of factors like: the plot, the size of the story, the daytime it is readConsidering these conditions will make the stories the teaching instrument.
The one should not forget that the life is born in the family, and the family gives the main ideas and examples of behavior. That is why it is important for parents to mind their words and treatment and be ready to present a perfect example to follow.
“Many cultures share common fairy tales like Cinderella, with their own cultural flavor. We read the versions and know we all share something important, the need to make sense of life with story, and the hope for good to triumph over evil.” These stories are the people`s experience that can be got and lived for free, without paying the price of stepping on the same rake.
All in all, fairy tales are powerful weapon against evil features that every human, every creature may possess (in our case it is selfishness). Using this weapon in the right time and place will help to overcome these drawbacks. One way or another, everybody knows that the good always wins.
Children are dreamers and their dreams are colorful, and only suchlike examples can touch their heart and mind.
Works cited
Brett, Jan. Beauty And The Beast. New York: Clarion Books, 1989. Print.
Grodin, Elissa, Laura Stutzman, and Oscar Wilde. The Happy Prince. Chelsea, MI: Sleeping Bear Press, 2006. Print.
Pinkney, Jerry, and H. C Andersen. The Nightingale. New York: Phyllis Fogelman Books, 2002. Print.
