Marriage customs, like many other customs regarding social institutions have evolved over centuries. Every society has its own intricacies when it comes to joining of man and woman in matrimony. There are cultures that scholars and observers consider civilized and others that appear sophisticated. Over many years, religious and civil law practices influence changes in marriage traditions but there are customs that have largely remained rigid. For instance, marriage customs within African tribes are clan affairs and involve shared responsibilities among families and clan members.
In Chinua Achebe’s Things fall apart, the Umuofia tribe within the Igbo community is a good example of African traditions with regard to marriage. In Umuofia, a traditional wedding involves many family members belonging to the intended groom and bride, traditional dances, and a feast. The groom does not take care of the costs associated with the marriage customs alone but the bride’s clansmen as well as the clansmen from the suitor’s clan contribute towards the success of the ceremonies. Accordingly, the women from both clans interact by cooking together and learning about each other’s tribe while discussing the events ahead. Once the festivities begin, the women are expected to serve the men and to present the bride to the men. The women then leave to allow the men to continue with the negotiations while discussing the terms regarding the bride as well as the way each of the men has contributed to the success of their respectively. The women from both clans then return to sing and dance for the men they chant merrily with each other. Consequently, the clans exchange presents such as cocks and wine to show that the clans have approved the marriage. Following the cerebrations, the woman has to leave with the suitor to live in the land of the latter for several weeks before returning to her motherland. As such, the bride and groom’s tribes nurture respect and unity before to the marriage takes place.
It is apparent that once a man intends to marry, he has to involve virtually the entire family and by extension, the clan. This is clear because the entire Umuofia customs regarding marriage focus on the relationship between the families rather than two individuals or the money spent. After the marriage, the woman becomes the husband’s property and is supposed to follow his instructions failure of which the customs allow the husband to ‘discipline’ her. Okonkwo’s frequent beating of his wives is an example of how the Umuofia customs depict the wife as the property of her husband (Achebe 21).
Traditionally, marriages in Saudi Arabia are arranged between families. In the course of arranging marriages, families usually consider various things including the tribe and family considerations. In this regard, marriages in Saudi Arabia are fundamentally different from the Western marriages, which are based on the principles of love and self-determination (Long 67). One major departure of the Saudi Arabia marriage customs for the African context is the idea encouraging sons and daughters to marry relatives such as cousins in a bid to enlarge and reinforce the clan or the extended family. Accordingly, in some cases people are encouraged to marry into other tribes or close relatives as a way of mending conflicts (Zuhur 226). As a result, Saudi Arabia has one of the highest rates of consanguineous marriages in the world. Unfortunately, health scholars consider marriages between blood relatives as the cause of severe genetic diseases such as cystic fibrosis, sickle cell anemia, blood disorder, and other serious conditions including type two diabetes, and hypertension (McKay). Another aspect of the marriage customs in Saudi Arabia is that men are allowed to marry more than one wife. However, marriages in the contemporary Saudi Arabia are increasingly monogamous due to increased influences from the Western ideals regarding marriage as an institution of mutual compatibility between one man and one woman and because of various economic challenges (Long 67).
With regard to the steps taken towards sealing a marriage in Saudi Arabia, there is the proposal stage where a senior female from potential groom’s family informs the mother of the prospective bride about the intentions. Consequently, the two families determine the suitability of the proposed marriage. Then if the two families give their consent, the prospective bride is given the permission to unveil in the presence of her proposed husband but in other cases, the unveiling is done after the wedding party. If the viewing proceeds well and the intended groom is still interested in marrying the bride, he negotiates the dowry with her father and the negotiations are presided over by imam and witnessed by two male observers and in other instances two women and one man. The families then meet in a ‘gala’ party that the bride’s family hosts in order to receive the dowry from the groom who also presents an engagement ring along with other gifts to his bride. What follows are two parties, one for setting the date of the wedding and the second for the wedding celebrations, which is usually held six months after the wedding proposal has been accepted. After all the celebrations for the marriage are over, the bride and the groom are usually escorted to their new home and if they do not have a home of their own, they live with the parents of the groom until they are able to set up a home of their own (Long 69). Once the woman is married, her husband takes the responsibility of being her guardian and he can therefore restrict her activities. It is important to note that a woman’s guardian is not only involved in arranging her marriage but also represents her during the engagement and subsequent marriage ceremonies that involve the signing of the contract (Zuhur 226).
With regard to the foregoing marriages among the Saudi Arabian families and the Umuofia clan, it is apparent that marriage in both customs largely involves developing a relationship between families rather than individuals. For instance, it is clear that consent before marriages in both Saudi Arabia and Igbo communities has to be given by the families involved. This means that there are no guarantees that a marriage will take place even where there is a prior agreement between a prospective husband and a potential wife. Further, it is clear that the marriage customs in the Umuofia tribe as well as in Saudi Arabia considers man as the dominant sex given that husbands have total control over their wives as demonstrated by Okonkwo’s violence over his wives.
It is also noteworthy that both customs depict women as weak individuals who are not capable of making their own choices and therefore need constant guidance throughout their lives. This aspect is evidenced by the fact that in both societies, women are not present while during discussions regarding their marriages while men are included in virtually all the negotiations (Foreign & Commonwealth Office). Further, the Igbo customs do not restrict the number of women a man can marry while Islam, the preferred religion among the Saudi Arabians, restricts the number of wives that a man can marry to four wives. In this regard, both customs encourage polygamous marriages (Rashad 2). One of the major differences between the Saudi Arabia and the Umuofia clan marriage customs is the fact that Islam does not allow Muslim women to get married to non-Muslim men while the Umuofia tribe does not limit women with regard to the tribe or religion from which one can get married, except to an outcast (Achebe 111).
Work Cited
Achebe, Chinua. Things Fall Apart. Heinemann, 1996.
Foreign & Commonwealth Office. Living in Saudi Arabia: The Essential Regulations, Laws And
Social Customs You Need To Understand When Living In Saudi Arabia. GOV.UK. 25 Mar. 2013. Web. 6 Apr. 2016. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/living-in-saudi-arabia
Long, David E. Culture and Customs of Saudi Arabia. Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 2005.
McKay, Betsy. "Saudis Push Gene-Sequencing Research". Wall Street Journal. 4 Feb. 2014.
Web. 6 Apr. 2016. http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304887104579306831456121354
Rashad Hoda, Magued Osman, and Farzaneh Roudi-Fahimi. Marriage in the Arab World.
Population Reference Bureau, 2005. Web. 6 Apr. 2016. http://www.prb.org/pdf05/marriageinarabworld_eng.pdf
Zuhur, Sherifa. Saudi Arabia. ABC-CLIO, 2011, p. 226.
