Good Sex And Sexuality Essay Example

Sex and sexuality education is an important part of growing-up, and every adolescent should be engaged in timely conversations on the topic, otherwise he or she may face the danger of staying ignorant or misinformed. The hazard lies not only in the possible disappointments in oneself and a partner, which may cause the establishment of patterns of dysfunctional relationships, but also in becoming susceptible to serious problems, among which are the unplanned teenage pregnancy, problems with social adaptation, acquired mental disorders, sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDs and many others. While some schools give their students superficial knowledge about sex and sexuality, the non-educational institutions, such as television, Internet and magazines, are more likely to expose the teenagers to the sex and sexuality myths. Providing relevant, true and non-biased information to the vulnerable group of young people is nowadays one of the key instruments to protect adolescents from the hazards of the age of unverified and easily accessible information about sex and sexuality that can harm their lives temporarily or permanently.
Educators are arguing nowadays on the proper age to start teaching kids the basics of sex and sexuality. Some say that following the example of other disciplines like math and literature, with their basics being taught at an early age, this subject should be a part of a primary school program as well, gradually developing into the high school course about reproduction, sexuality, protection and other related and more adult topics. As for me, I cannot affirm that these topics would be particularly interesting or easy to grasp if I were a child again. The modern kids and teenagers seem to develop spiritually, physically and mentally faster than the previous generations, especially the ones of my grandparents. Thus, I can conclude that the early introduction to the information about the bodies, functions and feelings associated with one’s sexuality might have a positive impact on the future steps of the kids, when they come of age.
My interest in the opposite sex started developing at an early age of 4, when I was actively engaged in playing with sons of my parents’ friends. Approximately at that time I watched my first educational movie about special body features of different sexes and reproduction. The movie was specifically aimed at a younger audience and described sperm as small fishes swimming toward the tiny pool of ovum. Although the film left me curious, at the same time I felt confusion, as I could not understand, why boys had wormlike fishes inside and managed to survive. My mixed feelings about the women’s periods made me feel sorry for all women, especially my mother, as I knew she had them, and I thought that it was a specifically female illness until my mother explained me the real situation. The misconception of the human body I received from the film and rumors other kids spread lasted till I read my first encyclopedia on anatomy that was presented to me for my eleventh birthday. Although too formally written, it relaxed my tension about the unbelievable things I learned before in my life. Now I knew how the body looked like inside, but could not really understand why the woman and man had to insert the penis into vagina and how that could ever bring pleasure, not talking about the development of the fetus in case of pregnancy. Approximately at that time someone told me that a child develops first into different animals, before becoming a human baby, the animals included even a puppy. I would not believe my ears, however, for years the image of a puppy stuck in my mother’s belly haunted me, until I surfed on the Internet to find out that no puppy was involved. Luckily, I have not told anyone about my doubts, thus, avoiding looking silly in from of my peers, and now I can look back, smile and plan to tell my children about the baby development before they find horrifying misinformation in any other source.
I was growing up with an elder sister, whose girlfriends came over to our house to talk about boys and relationships. Thus, I was exposed to the myths about sex and sexuality coming from the seemingly credible and more competent sources. The astonishment that struck me years later, when I entered the puberty period myself, was all about the misunderstanding of women’s sexuality, rights and wrongs, do’s and don’ts in the sexual relationships. The very fact that girls did not talk about the impossibility, abstinence or refusal to have sexual relationships, either coital or noncoital, shows the distorted views of many modern teenagers susceptible to public opinion dictated by the TV channels like MTV, or teen magazines like Seventeen magazine. Many TV shows, articles that teenagers can find on the Internet or in the printed non-scientific sources, advocate early sex life by either showing the examples of such, or providing guiding information about it. Nonetheless, this information might not be as harmful, as it looks. To be realistic, teenagers do have sex life, and sex and sexuality education burden must lie on the shoulders of parents and teachers, whose main responsibility is to dispel myths teenagers find in unreliable sources. I was fortunate enough to have caring parents: a mother, who appeared just on time to explain me there is no need to agree to the sexual relationships of any kind, if I do not feel ready, and a father strict enough to explain me how a worthy boyfriend should be treating me, at the same time giving me freedom to go on dates without scaring off my party. Thus, my parents busted the myth about the necessity to have sex when dating someone, whom I like, but do not feel ready to have sex with, before I could get psychologically harmed.
However, not all people get unaffected by the myths due to their own ignorance or irresponsible attitude to getting deeper into sex and sexuality topic, settling for surface knowledge, obtained mainly from the peers. Once, my male friend told me a story that happened to him during his college freshman years. Being 24 year old now, he is a very nice and reliable person, however, in his younger years, he admitted, he was lacking patience, prudence and was rather self-confident, on the verge of being arrogant. He told about a little funny, but somewhat bitter story that happened to him at one of the parties in the dormitory, where he met a girl, known for conducting a “scientific” research based on her sexual experience with college guys. She was posting her impressions about each of them on her blog that was very popular among the students and outside the college. With that in mind and being too cocky, my friend decided that he had to take a chance, and do his best to appear on that blog as a very sexually attractive and experienced guy. According to him, they used two protections, a condom and a pill, and usually that is considered the basics of safe sex. The consequences of that night were not only detrimental to his mental health, but to his STD-free status as well. The girl informed my friend that she regularly sees the physician and gynecologist, and that she is on birth control. The key moment is that my friend was so ignorant in his late teens that he was sure that the non-curable STD was not transmitted through oral sex, that the healthy appearance of the girl did not promise she was actually healthy, and that the pills would prevent the transmission in any case. When, despite all the misconceptions he had, he fell ill in a month, he found out he was infected with HSV-2, which made him lose self-esteem and confidence in his sexual life for a long time. He could not believe it was incurable, and he got really scared, however, he learned a lesson and decided to educate himself more on the subject. Meantime, the girl posted an average review about his sexual capabilities, which affected him as much, as the embarrassment of having an STD. I think this is a very good proof of the importance of the proper sexual education in our country. Although my friend had some knowledge, it was fragmentary and far from reality. Luckily, the treatment did not take long and he learned a good lesson. He started reading about sex and sexual education to make sure he never makes same mistakes again. Now, he and his girlfriend are planning to live together as a couple, and she is aware of his status, and he is taking the medication every now and then to lessen the possibility of transmitting the infection to her. They are a vivid example of responsible self-educated young adults, who take their lives and relationships seriously enough to check twice on any hazard they are exposed to.
While sweeping any misinformation off my way to the adult, sexually active life, I learned to pick out the correct information, usually coming from my parents, journals, scientific sources and spiritual books that pose love above instincts. My mother told me that despite the modern concepts of beauty, being skinny or flawless is not a necessary prerequisite to feeling sexy and sexually attractive and active. During the puberty I felt that I was inappropriate, my body was developing too slowly, and my sexuality was in question in my own head. To fight the beliefs of my own asexuality, my mother explained me that almost every girl was going through this phase in life, though it might not always be visible. She explained that the fact that I had periods meant that I was developing as a woman, preparing to have my own children in future, just like she and her mother did. Several years passed, and my confidence started building up again, and I met a guy, who found me attractive despite the low self-esteem I had at that time. He was the one, who helped me gain it back, became my best friend and made me feel loved. That was the time when I fully realized my mother’s words that I will know when I am ready to have sex and that will be a person, whom I will either love or feel strong affection to. Indeed, despite all modern assertions that sex without love is normal and does not hurt your spirituality and mental health, I believe that sex with love is better, as it nurtures me, my partner and our healthy relationships. Although I do not have a biased opinion on loveless sex, and I understand my girlfriends, who practice it from time to time, I believe that one of the main topics that should be discussed with teens is love and how it will affect your sexuality. Providing adolescents with more knowledge on the difference between sexual relationships based on healthy mutual affection and sexually and mentally dependent unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships might help avoid traumatic experience driven from massively distributed, pressuring and unverified information. The teenagers, who will thus get appropriate and timely sex and sexuality education are more likely to avoid risks of undesired parenthood, STDs, mental disorders and abusive relationships, and have more chance to develop into healthy adults able to create own healthy families when the right time comes.