English
The article, The Modern Indian Girl, describes the rationale behind the thinking of the modern Indian women in India when it comes to choosing their life partner. Indhuja Pillai, a 24-year-old lady from Bangalore, raises the issue of disappointment in numerous young women in India over for finding the right husband through matrimonial sites. She battles with her parents when they discuss her ‘matrimonial ad.’ She, like many other eligible women in India, finds the rationale behind parents seeking a suitable match for their daughter appalling.
Sumesh Menon, co-discoverer and CEO of Woo, a women-centric matchmaking app that highlights women’s expectations and concerns about marriage, says that Indhuja’s battle undermines the assessment of millions of Indian women. Menon states that today, Indian women look for equality in just about every sphere of life and expect the same when it comes to marriage. In a study conducted by a popular matrimonial site in India; Shaadi.com, it was found that many of the women who were approached for their feedbacks, complained about the number of questions that were asked of them. The very fact that Indhuja felt that her parents made her sound desperate to get married to a ‘good groom’ in the “groom wanted” advertisement, she created a rebellious ‘matrimonial CV’ on a website; marry.indhuja.com to ensure that her message reached the ‘right’ candidate. Supporting Indhuja on this issue of equality and transparency were 28-year-old Trisha Naik, and 34-year-old single working woman, Sujata Shekhawat. Complimenting Indhuja on her outlook, relationship counsellor; Jai Madaan believes that “being your real self and honest is the key of any good relationship” (Deccan Herald, 2015). There is no guarantee that anyone or everyone will find their “perfect marriage material,” but it does help to be honest and vocal about themselves so that nothing raises false expectations, he ended. However, for many Indian families, a ‘subdued,’ and not a ‘rebellious’ bride fits their choice of a ‘bahu.’ Madaan feels that “sensible men get attracted to a woman’s honesty and boldness” (Deccan Herald, 2015).
The phrase; “marriages are made in Heaven,” is true in India as well. Traditionally, marriage is considered sacred in India, and when a woman is married off to a man, it is the man who has the right to decide how the woman of the house should live. However, the land where ‘sati’ reigned supreme in ancient times, things have changed. Today, contemporary Indian women don’t like the idea of being the subordinate partner in a patriarchal system. They believe in equality, and when they are able to earn as much as their partners, why should they be treated differently? Perhaps the advent of computers and the internet has changed the way modern Indians think, and this shows why women like Indhuja are rebellious, and fight for their rights.
Matrimonial sites seem to favour the needs of parents, and they (parents) seem oblivious to what their children expect from their partners. Parents only look at how much property the prospective groom has, or how much of a salary he is earning; little do they verify the groom’s character. This perhaps answers the question why women feel that matrimonial websites ask far too many questions that they feel are irrelevant or uncalled for.
I agree that present matrimonial websites are far from competent to be used as a medium for match-making. Just as Indhuja did, it would be far more effective if women were able to create a webpage that revealed frank, direct, and honest intentions and observations of women on what they sought from their life partner. Such sites will offer far more ‘compatible prospects,’ than those seen in general matrimonial websites. For example, if a girl likes a certain boy who shows keen interest in her, she could chat online and express herself without any inhibitions. Should this suit the boy, they can take the initiative forward. The interaction will also help the girl get to know the boy better as well.
In conclusion it can be said that women in India today prefer to deal with men themselves when it comes to choosing their life partner. They feel that the traditional matrimonial sites that are in existence hardly address their needs and concerns and are more ‘groom-centric’ in its approach. Parents act in haste and in the process, neglect or oversee their daughter’s sentiments or likes. This has been a major reason why a lot of marriages have broken up. Therefore, if sites approach matrimonial needs in a way that exposes both the sides to the partnership in a frank and transparent manner, it would make choosing life-partners far less complicated.
References
Deccan Herald,. (2015). The modern Indian girl: Battling the stereotyping. Retrieved 29 April 2015, from http://www.deccanherald.com/content/463607/modern-indian-girl-battling-stereotyping.html
