Introduction
It is only normal to receive a compliment whenever there is really something that an individual can be complimented about . Often, the reason why people compliment other people is because they admire a part of that person. A man may, for example, be often seen complimenting a woman because of her looks, her body, her class, or her personality. A woman, on the other hand, may often be seen complimenting a man because of his personality, being a gentleman, looks, class, and body.
Although there may be trends that can help people and psychologists determine how and what aspects of a person a man or a woman may notice first and compliment whenever they got the chance, it is still hard to accurately determine the exact aspects of a person an individual may notice first and then compliment. This may be due to the fact that beauty can indeed be found in the eye of the beholder.
What may be perceived as beautiful by one person may not be perceived as the same by another person, be it from the perspective of a man or woman. It is also worth mentioning that a man may have a different perspective or manner of complimenting compared to another man. The same principle may also be true for women. The real question here is how males and females differ when it comes to their reactions whenever they receive compliments.
Do males react violently whenever they receive compliments or do they shrug such positive remarks off? Do females act as if they did not hear anything or do they respond with a delightful thank you to whoever threw them the compliments? These are the types of questions that will be answered in this paper.
When Men and Women Receive Compliments
In countries that have a conservative culture or society, men and women often engage in a medium to long term relationship as boyfriends and girlfriends first before they get married . Although this is not really a legal or a cultural requirement that has to be fulfilled if a couple wishes to get married, majority of couples undergo this process. Before a man and a woman become a couple, it is the man who has to initiate the courting process first. It usually starts when the man expresses his interest to court a woman and this process often involves a lot of compliments being thrown at the woman .
So, between men and women, it is often the women who are more used to receive compliments , at least in countries where courtship before marriage is still being heavily practiced. It may also be stated that between the two, women have greater tendencies to long for or want to receive compliments because it may have been subconsciously programmed in their mind that the process of receiving compliments is where courtship starts and having a lot of suitors may equate to having very attractive looks which naturally most men would want .
So, the real question is, how do women often react and how and what do they usually feel whenever they receive these compliments either from a man or woman. This is more of a social dynamics question more than a causality and effect one because between the two, it is the women who are more geared to be obsessed with beauty . So, why do women engage in activities that they know can make them more beautiful or attractive if they can just live their life to the fullest without having to think about what other people may think or say whenever they look at them?
One possible and sensible answer to this question is because they want to be complimented or that they yearn for the feeling to be appreciated by other people , especially by a male who may be as good-looking as her (of course based on male standards) or have a high level of social status. This aspect of social dynamics can be seen in mass media where females and males yearn for the feeling of being complimented. People in Hollywood, for example, wear prestigious gowns and suits to be recognized and so that they can set themselves apart from the common people who are not as good looking and not as classy-looking.
Because a lot of people do watch televisions and get to see how beautiful people in their suits and gowns are, this creates a phenomenon that we like to call the standardization of beauty. In that case, the standards of beauty among commoners become higher as they get to have the idea what may be considered beautiful and worthy to be complimented by other people . This is, in fact, a very common trend—so common that it already creates a vicious cycle.
The best way to address this question is to say that women’s reactions to compliments greatly vary. Being a woman does not really serve as a reliable factor to consider or mean anything when it comes to the art or science of predicting their reactions to a compliment because the truth is, some women may appreciate the way how another woman or an interested guy throws a compliment and some may simply not. For example, a man who compliments a girl because he thinks her looks and her skinny tops and lime green tops were sexy may easily have this conclusion that all girls would love to hear what he has to say about their looks.
This guy in our example may indeed have a good chance of receiving a positive feedback from a girl who grew up in a liberal society—where it is often considered to be a good thing to be checked out and complimented verbally by a guy (i.e. stranger) on a daily or even on an hourly basis. However, things may be totally different or even complicated if this guy in our example is to throw that exact same compliment (which is as detailed as it can be when it comes to appearance) to another girl who grew up in a conservative society (say an Islamic country where girls are often not allowed to be seen wearing revealing clothes let alone be complimented about it by guys who are strangers). If that would indeed happen, this conservative girl would most likely react negatively and even ferociously right after receiving that compliment.
The same answer or principle may also be applied to men. It generally depends on the type of environment they grew in. At some point, it may also depend on the type of social dynamics that they got accustomed to. The rule of thumb in social dynamics often suggest that the more liberal the society a person grew up in, the more likely he or she is going to be receptive to compliments; and the more likely he or she is going to want to receive compliments.
Unlike women, however, most men tend to be conservative and laid back when it comes to reacting to compliments . A man who just received a positive remark either from a colleague or friend about his looks or his great outfit would often react by countering that positive remark with a negative remark coming from him so that he can save himself from having to react to the compliment that has been thrown at him. Most men do this because they do not know how to accept and react to compliments.
At the same time, they are afraid to reject the compliments and so they make the necessary step to remove the necessity to react either positively or negatively by negating the positive remark (the compliment) that has been thrown at him using a negative remark about himself coming from himself. This is more common among men because in a society with conventional social dynamics, males are really not supposed to receive compliments—rather, they are the ones who are expected to give the compliments. This is, in general, the main difference between how a woman and a man reacts to and feels whenever they receive compliments or a positive remark about any aspect of their individuality.
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