John Schwartz has done a lot when it come dealing with the gays and the issues that surround the gays. He got interested in these matters when he realized at the age of three that his son was acting strangely. The son used to engage in activities that made him act like he was the only “strange bird in the flock”. The way in which he dressed played and even composed himself made the parents realize that the son was not like the other male kids. Whenever he went to school and came back, he used to show characters of the gay.
`Their fear was however confirmed when he came from school and had pictures of naked men in his laptop. The parents tried so much so that they could change him. They could not. He even tried to commit suicide. John, therefore, realized that for him to help his son, he had to learn to live with him. He had to learn ways through which he would use to encourage his son so that he can live in peace with himself. Being a gay meant that he was going to be an endangered species. By the term endangered species, I mean that there are very few people who are gay and have decided to come out and proclaim their sexual status. It, therefore, meant he had to learn to accept himself and also accept the people around himself.
The father, therefore, came up with a number of strategies that can help people live with these kinds of people. His methods can also be used by guardians of people who are gay. John has used research to give credibility to the methods that he puts forth. Some of the methods that John proposes can be used by these people to be helped include the following;
He says that gay people and the homosexuals need to be accepted the way they are. Accepting them makes them learn to live with another in harmony. When these people are stigmatized because of their sexual status, then they might engage in some other activities which will harm themselves and the people that are close to them. In helping their son, they visited many people and places like doctors, friend, and even the gay people. All these they were doing to help them find long lasting solution to their son. They found different types of answers from the various or different kinds of people that they visited. He (John) however decided to ignore some of the pieces of advice that they received. He focused on the scientific methods so that he could help his son.
When you read from his book Oddly Normal, it can be seen that John went through a lot in making helping his son. After the consultations, he had received so much information to the extent that he was unable to choose on the information to use and which ones to ignore. He had to consult with the wife. This corresponds with Trimble words:
What is easy to read has been difficult to write. The easily flowing connection of sentence with sentence and paragraph with paragraph has always been won by the sweat of the brow. [pg. 21]
Through consultations, he made it. He managed to convince his wife, and they accepted their son. He says that the first step in helping the homosexuals is accepting them. Learning how these people became who they are can also help the parents or those close to them know how to help them.
The son had not been through any kind of situation that could influence his characters. The child had developed these conditions when he was young. These signs were observed at the age of three, a time when he had not even exposed to staff for the gay. Helping such a person would be a little bit different and difficult as to when an individual had developed these traits when older. People, who started watching gays and were persuaded into being gays, can be persuaded to leave. They can always leave because their condition is always temporary.
Joe’s case was a little bit strange. He developed this trait on his own. The parents had been speculating this, and they only confirmed when he was from the school, and there were pictures of naked men on his laptops.
Another way that John employs in helping his child is encouraging him to appreciate who he is. A person that develops these traits unknowingly can hate him or herself and then engage in terrible activities. He always encouraged him to accept himself so that he would be at peace with everybody else. The father had to tell him that there are many others in the world of his type. A person that has learned to accept himself will not try to commits suicide the same way their son had tried. He wanted to kill himself when the truth dawned on him, and he came to terms that he was gay. Accepting oneself is the first step towards achieving solution to the problem. When one fails to accept his or her sex status, then it might be very hard for one to live in harmony with other people.
When we read the Oddly Normal, we realize that the father did so many things like even allowing the son to contribute to the stories in the book. The last chapter of the book comprises of stories that were composed by the son. These are children stories and the helped to enliven the book at the end of the book. In correspondence to Trimble;
If you think in terms of months, you’re only half-conscious of days. If you think in terms of phrases, you’re only half-conscious of words. [pg. 59]
After they realized that Joe had taken an overdose of pills after the friends in school had failed to understand him, the parents, therefore, tried their best. The research methods used for this particular mission included interweaving the situation with a lot of questions. Some of the questions that the John asked in his search for the answers to the problem of the son included: are the effeminate boys and the tomboy girls necessarily gay. Must they just be gay ("Oddly Normal: One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality by John Schwartz | 9781592408405 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble")? Is there a relationship suicide or the mental illness and being gay? These are part of the many questions which he asked as he tried to find a solution to his son.
He managed to discover a number of things. He realized that these people cannot be pushed out of the situations that they are. Just like mentioned, the process should be developed to help them. Some people are permanently gay and therefore there remain no particular strategy of removing them. They can only be helped to appreciate their condition.
Their greatest concern remained their desire to prove to the Joe that he was alone in his world. There are so many people who also depicted the same characters which he was showing. Had been neglected in school, he tended to believe that he was one of a kind and therefore unique. John, therefore, had to read widely so that he becomes well acquainted with gays and the way they operate. It was going to be the only way through which he would help his. Being a writer, he had been through several ordeals in life. He was, therefore, able to conduct research and come up with conclusive results on how to help. The aim was to help in preventing or shielding him from homophobia. The homophobia that he had developed had led to him being marginalized by several people.
Joe is portrayed as being intelligent. Despite the torment that he had gone through, he manages to put a smile still on the face of his parents. It is seen in the way in which he responded well to the processes that the dad used to subject him to. As such, everything becomes eased up by fact that the father had conducted numerous research where was able to come up with ways through which he managed to help the son accept his condition.
Work cited
"A Son Comes Out and a Family Comes Together: John Schwartz charts his gay son's journey in memoir ‘Oddly Normal’ - Books - The Austin Chronicle." Austin News, Events, Restaurants, Music - The Austin Chronicle. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 Nov. 2014.
"Oddly Normal: One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality by John Schwartz | 9781592408405 | Paperback | Barnes & Noble." Barnes & Noble. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 Nov. 2014.
Trimble, John R. Writing with style: conversations on the art of writing. Boston: Prentice Hall, 2011. Print.
