Dating began in the first decade of the twentieth century especially in the U.S and Europe. It spread very fast to almost all the states in the U.S. during the 1920s. Men were often seeking some form of sexual gratification. Women, on the other hand, were looking to have money spent on them, including expensive gifts. During most of the previous centuries, men were supposed to provide much of the input during dating. However, the woman is also supposed to be actively involved in dating during the twenty-first century. A woman should always be willing to please a man during dating no matter what it takes.
The first thing that woman should consider when starting to date a man is her motive(s). In the contemporary society, most women date men due just for material gains. One should be sure that they are in love with the man before they start dating. To a large extend, this opens her mind to learn more about the man’s personality other than the economic worth of the man (Bogle, 2008, p. 84). However, a woman should date a man she feels comfortable with in all aspects including economically. If a woman finds herself enjoying the material things she receives from the man e.g. jewelry more than she enjoys his company, then she is in the relationship for the wrong reasons.
Other elements also determine if a woman is in a relationship or dating with the right motives. For instance, the woman should ask herself if she would still date or rather love the man if he lost all he has e.g. the fancy cars and house. Secondly, she should examine the first thing that comes into her mind whenever someone asks her what she loves in her man. If his material possessions overshadow his character or rather personality, it means she does not know of his other good qualities or probably they do not exist (Bogle, 2008, p. 96). Dating should be about knowing more of the personality of the man. Therefore, identifying with the good character traits as well as behaviors of a man is essential as far as building a good relationship is concerned.
A woman should always try to fit into the man’s lifestyle. This involves trying to have shared interests, which comes by having a deliberate effort to learn much about the world he belongs to i.e. his social class. However, one does have to adopt all the things from his man’s world. Some of the things that one can do show the man that she is interested in being part of his life is by dressing the way he wants i.e. dressing to impress him, going out to places of his choice, but not necessarily all the time, as well as being submissive to him. This makes a man feel appreciated and lived an aspect plays a fundamental role in building a strong bond between the two. Additionally, a woman should learn the man’s hobbies. Research has shown that most men spend much of their free time in their hobbies i.e. doing the things they love (Bogle, 2008, p. 98). By learning his hobbies, one will be able to accompany his man to different places thus end up spending much time together. In the process, one ends up learning new skills, making new friends (mostly the man’s friend) and having much fun in the process. This keeps the two parties happy on their dates as well as during their everyday activities.
Everyone has his/her weaknesses. There are certain behaviors of a man that a woman might not like and vice versa. This is the biggest challenge in dating. The woman should be willing to give it all and be patient with the man when dating. The woman should assist the man to overcome some of the extreme behaviors e.g. excessive smoking, drinking or addictions. She should never discriminate him on the basis if his behaviors as it might lower his self-esteem. Nevertheless, she should use all the means possible e.g. encouraging him to go rehabilitation centers where professionals will assist him overcome the behaviors. It is part of a woman’s nature that she is less aggressive.
Efficient communication is one of the aspects that a woman should embrace when dating. It is an important aspect of behavior (Pradhan & Chopra, 2008, p. 28). She should always be aware of the situation, the place, time and circumstances before passing any message to her partner. This is because the choice of words is highly influenced by these factors. One advantage of this aspect is that she will be able to restrict her words to the given situation or rather circumstance thus avoiding being offensive (Pradhan & Chopra, 2008, p. 36). Additionally, she should be a good listener. This not only helps to understand the man better but also enables her to know how to handle him in various situations. Both aspects play a pivotal role in the development of a peaceful environment during their dates. Additionally, she should not only learn her partner’s non-verbal cues to enhance effective communication. Recent research has shown that a man is usually very keen on how his woman communicates with other men especially in social gatherings (Bogle, 2008, p. 66). She should ask the man about the things that he does not like about women’s communication tactics especially in a public setting. Moreover, she should ensure that she does everything just to please him and make him happy. A woman should always be honest to her man regardless of the circumstance. Women should not incite false hopes by near-promises and promising suggestions.
Men like romantic and passionate gestures from their women. Therefore, a woman should always be on the lookout for romantic gestures for her man. For instance, she can invite him over to her house and cook a delicious meal for the two. Additionally, she can take him out to have some drinks or for a movie and pay the bill. She can also prepare a picnic for two. Such a gesture tells the man that the woman is willing to not only spend time but also effort in planning their dates (Bogle, 2008, p. 102). The woman can also invite him to join her in some outdoor activities such as sunbathing at the beach, swimming, horse-back riding, hiking, or just taking walks in their neighborhood. It is during winter, she can invite him to visit a museum. This makes a man feel that the woman appreciates his presence more that any material things that he has to offer.
One can invite the man to her residence/home. In most cases, the presence of a bed automatically triggers sexual longings, moreover, that both the man and the woman might not be able to resist. In cases where the woman stays alone, she should be careful not to seduce the man as this can lead to sexual activities that she might end up regretting. If it happens that the two meet in a solitary place, she might consider using external social controls that are believed necessary to avoid these ‘unresistable’ situations. Wouters (2004) argues that a couple of cushions apparently can suffice to keep the ‘dangers’ under control (p. 54). A woman has to know how to handle the man without being aggressive. This should be taken into account especially during the first dates with a man, as some men tend to use all possible means to win the woman over.
A woman should always be willing to please a man during dating no matter what it takes. She should show concern for her man. For instance, she should help a man overcome some of his bad behaviors. She should not only be willing but also put mush effort to fit in the man’s ‘world’. This can only be achieved by making a deliberate decision to learn as much as she can about her man. Additionally, she should embrace good communication skills. This enables a couple to solve their problems amicably besides avoiding numerous conflicts. A woman should be willing to invest much time and effort in planning their dates. This can be in the form of making reservations in restaurants or planning for outdoor activities. A woman should always appreciate the presence of a man in her life.
References
Bogle, K. (2008). Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships. New York, NY: New York
Pradhan, N., & Chopra, N. (2008). Communication Skills for Managers: An Exercise in Self
Study. Jaipur, IND: Global Media.
Wouters, C. (2004). Sex and Manners: Female Emancipation in the West, 1890-2000. London,
GBR: Sage Publications Inc.
