Step 1 - Preparation:
My problem is my roommate in the dorm, with whom I’ve been living for two years now. I want to either replace him with an another roommate or convince him to get better as his ways of life disrupt my social life and education.
He never does his duties, such as cleaning the room, doing his dishes or taking out the trash. The room looks like a mess because of him. He also steals my food from the fridge, does not have any respect towards me, as he can be very loud late at night or early in the morning. Due to his actions, I’m too embarrassed to bring the family or friends over to my room.
The least damaging option would be to try and to reason with the roommate. If I attempt to evict him, it might not work out, and when he finds out about my plans, the relationship with him will become even tenser.
In any negotiations the most important thing is confidence. If I won’t be confident in what I speak or will back down when he confronts me, it’d be perceived as a weakness which he can exploit.
A brief breakdown of the Process:
When I considered options on how to deal with the roommate I had to weigh consequences and effectiveness of each approach. More radical actions might have a bigger payout in a shorter amount of time, but if failed, the aftermath would be horrible.
Step 2 - Incubation:
I have decided on a basic course of action - negotiation. Any other solution constitutes a lot of risks and might not have an outcome that I want (to be able to live and study in peace).
I’ve talked with my parents about the whole ordeal, to get their input. My mother thought that I should go to supervisors and report the problem to them. Father supported my initial idea of negotiation and reaffirmed that I should be confident and convincing in my speech. Friends suggested to gang up on him and threaten him with violence, but I don’t want to do that, as it might get me in more trouble.
In last few days, while I’ve been musing over the idea, I become a little nervous around my roommate. Perhaps, in attempts to act non-suspiciously around him to hide my plans, my behavior, instead, became even more so. I’ve become less focused on my work, due to the execution and ideas clouding my mind.
A brief breakdown of the Process:
Even when not working on intricacies of my plan, possible solutions clouded my mind. I’ve also become more self-aware around my roommate and therefore became more nervous in my living space. I constantly discuss my actions with parents and close friends as I progress, to fine tune it and to see possible shortcomings of an every step. Outside perspective in those matters is critical as you might not see the full picture because you’re so focused on the task.
Step 3 - Illumination:
I’ve meditated on the idea for a few days. After consultations with my closed ones, I’ve decided to stay focused on my initial approach; that is negotiating.
All other options that I have are too risky regarding their success chance, besides they’re far too aggressive for my liking. I believe that you should resort to violence or intervention by supervisors only as the last resort. If possible, you should try to reason with a person, see their side of the issue and come up with a solution that’d fit both sides.
My main power here would be rhetoric. Thus, I have to prepare beforehand for the dialogue. I need to lay out all things that I’ll say, how will I say them. I need to predict all rebuttals that roommate might have and how I will respond them. I can start talking unprepared, but if he catches me off guard and I’d begin to stutter, he could get an upper hand in the dialogue. I have to avoid that
A brief breakdown of the Process:
I kept my initial plan of talking with my roommate as all other options are too violent. I’ve started to layout my conversation with him, predicting how he and I both will react to potential questions. The main problem in my plan is my rhetoric - if I don’t sound convincing, this plan is doomed to fail from the start.
Step 4 - Implementation:
I have a notebook where I’ve written down problems I have with the roommate and possible solutions to each one of them. I’ve also outlined his possible reactions and how I’ll respond to them.
I’ve asked my friend to help me with the practice. He would take the role of my roommate and will try to find flaws in my arguments or will improvise arguments that the roommate might come up with to catch me off-guard. The main idea here is that I have to prepare my speech so I wouldn’t stutter when I try to remember it. Also, that kind of improv play will help me to improvise in the real conversation and will allow me to practice sounding confident and convincing, which I couldn’t do alone.
I will need to find a suitable day for the confrontation. I think that the Friday night and Saturday would be perfect dates. He wouldn’t be able to use excuses that he has to study or go to work tomorrow to postpone our dialogue. Furthermore, I need to find him in the right mood where he’s open to dialogue and discussion.
A brief breakdown of the Process:
With a written-out speech and practice, I believe that my plan will work. I do not expect all problems to disappear overnight, but I think that the good conversation will help me set him on the right path. If it fails initially or after a period of observation I’d realize that my approach didn’t bear any fruits, I would then attempt a different one. Going to a supervisor would be my next solution.
Works Cited
Eklund, Andy. "Brainstorm Technique: Lotus Blossom - Andy Eklund". Andy Eklund. N.p.,
2013. Web. 15 June 2016.
