In every human life parents play a major role. At the beginning of our existence person presents as a combined psychological system so we are open to the world primarily through adults “that makes it easier to form satisfying social attachments than it is for those who have an insecure attachment history” (Franzoi 129). My parents paid me a lot of time and effort. In fact my education was for them the meaning of all life. It seemed to me that the concern was not so much to me as my parents, they just filled their unrealized and often pointed neurotic need for affection and love. I showed trust in adults and had a sense of security in their presence. I went to touch and was able to interact with the children in the presence of an adult.
I know that I showed great affection for the people who played with me so for me bodily contact with an adult was although important, but not the only factor contributing to the attachment. I needed other manifestations of attention. In infancy and early age, all my child's needs were met by adults. However, as I started to develop my ability to control my behavior, parents have begun to limit and guide my activity. For my parents' effective control involves a combination of emotional acceptance with high-volume requirements of clarity, consistency and consistency. Parental control has been presented in the bipolar system: autonomy - control. As part of any disciplinary axis specific behavior of my parents took place between two extremes: from granting full autonomy to absolute submission to the will of parents. My anxiety and domineering by nature mother spontaneously tried to tie me to the point that I sharpened dependent on her mood. My mother usually have a fear of loneliness, getting rid of her excessive concern for me. I was inspired that feel safe, I will only be in the presence of the mother, and it blocked the increasing need to communicate with other adults and peers.
My father treated me as an adult, forgetting about my increased need for tenderness and affection. Almost always we had a conflict over education. Mother in opposition to my father tried to remedy the lack of emotional warmth and surrounded me excessive care. Excessive control was manifested in the pursuit of my parents to watch every step. Often this was extended to the emotional and motor activity. My parents had strict prohibitions that prescribed me a lot, kept me under close supervision, established certain rules of conduct, which I obliged to follow. At my strict parents may manifest contradictions in the system requirements and prohibitions.
Excessive demands, responsibilities implied that my requirements are very high. Excessive demands, responsibilities lie in the basis of education, which can be defined as "the increased moral responsibility.” After 2 years, the attachment to the mother already had a dependent character, I have reduced anxiety when it is absent, which is due to build a sense of "I" and contacts with adults are not accompanied by still cautious.
A major obstacle to the emotional contact and attachment between mother and me was the lack of emotional responsiveness mother. Often the mother has been physically exhausted and loaded with work. Emotionally inhibited due to a neurotic state, sociable enough and overly schematic in nature, she raised me on the abstract schemes, excluding my real needs and requirements. We were typical endless moralizing, i did not have direct contact with children, affection and tenderness. It created for me formidable emotional barrier in communicating with my mother, who although I felt a sense of love, but did nothing for the development of bilateral relations emotional.
Works Cited
Franzoi, Stephen L. "Essentials of Psychology." (2014). Print.
