Option B
“Loving someone is different from being “in love” with them.”
It is true that loving someone is different from being “in love” with them. Some people think that the two mean the similar thing, but this is not the case. As a matter of fact, there are some differences between loving someone and being “in love” with them. First of all, when we love an individual we need him/her to be around us most of the time. In other words, we usually want to be with the people we love more than anything else, and we can do anything to have them. Nonetheless, this is not the case with being “in love” with someone. When we are “in love” with a person, we usually need him/her to be where he/she is happy. Particularly, we normally wish the people we are “in love” with a happy life.
Additionally, loving someone does not stop while being “in love” with them can stop. Specifically, when we love a person, we never stop loving him/her even if he/she leaves us. Loving someone is what defines us. In essence, the presence of the people we love in our lives makes us different people. When they leave us, we do not stop loving them. Their memories make us feel very strong feelings. We cannot stop loving the people we love as doing that will need us to stop loving a part of ourselves. However, when we are “in love” with a person, we can stop loving them. As Protasi (2014) maintains, some of the people we fall in love with, do not love us back. Consequently, this explains why being “in love” with someone can stop.
What is more, loving someone is active while being “in love” with them is passive. Loving a person is about being active. Particularly, loving an individual involves doing what is best for him/her. We usually show we love someone through actions. We can do everything to make the people we love understand how much we love them. On the other hand, being “in love” sounds passive. When we are in love with an individual, we feel it. When we see a person that has the traits that we think are ideal for a partner, we usually fall in love with him/her. Ideally, this is what being “in love” entails.
“Self-love is necessary before we can love someone else.”
I totally agree that self-love is necessary before we can love someone else. In fact, there is nothing important than self-love. No one can love us more than we love ourselves. As a matter of fact, self-love can be described as the regard for one’s happiness as well as well-being. Thus, self-love involves making our happiness the priority. In reality, we only love another person after making our happiness the priority. The love between two individuals occurs after each one of them has loved himself/herself first. Self-love also entails the appreciation for oneself. We cannot appreciate those who we claim to love if we have not appreciated ourselves. Thus, self-love is essential before we can love someone else.
Self-love is essentially the foundation of our relationships with ourselves. Notably, the strength of our relationships with the other people is the same with the strength of this foundation. The feelings towards self greatly determine the feelings toward other people. Consequently, self-love is a requisite to loving someone else. We cannot love somebody else if we do not love ourselves. In other words, we cannot give love to another person when we do not love ourselves. Self-love helps us make the best decisions when it comes to choosing our partners. Ideally, self-love helps us to be authentic and courageous. We free ourselves from worries and negativities when we truly love ourselves. We emanate positivity, confidence, and happiness. As a result, we attract our ideal partners. Thus, self-love helps individuals find their true love.
Self-love is an essential condition for creating self-esteem that, in turn, helps us choose the right partners to love. One of the reasons why we choose the wrong partners is because we do not value ourselves. Low self-esteem interferes with our capability to have a true, give-and-take partnership. In other words, low self-esteem affects our ability to choose the partners we truly love. It causes us to settle for the relations where we are not truly loved. Low self-esteem makes us loathe ourselves, which, in turn, makes love difficult. Loathing ourselves also makes it difficult for us to love.
“Jealousy shows that a loving relationship has depth.”
I do not agree that jealousy shows that a loving relationship has depth. Jealousy in a relationship involves trying to control, monitor, and limit the choices and behavior of the other individual. As a matter of fact, a relationship, which has depth thrives on free will/freedom but not jealousy. Particularly, a relationship that has depth is the one in which both the partners have the freedom to grow and develop as well as pursue new opportunities. Jealousy shows a need for control. When we are jealous, we tend to control our partners. We restrict their freedom to grow and develop as well as pursue new opportunities. In a loving relationship, both the partners give each other the freedom to grow and develop. In fact, the partners who truly loves one another support each other. They are not jealous of the achievements made by each other. Jealously, thus, does not show that a loving relationship has depth.
Jealousy in a relationship makes both the partners unhappy. In essence, jealousy causes a partner experience different feelings ranging from suspicion and insecurity to anxiety, anger, anxiety, and rejection. As a result, it causes unnecessary fights and makes both the partners unhappy. Happiness characterizes a loving relationship. Both partners in a loving relationship endeavor to create happiness. However, jealousy leads to unhappiness in a loving relationship. As a result, it does not show that a loving relationship has depth. A loving relationship that has depth does not break. It continues to thrive during the most challenging times. Nonetheless, the different feelings of jealousy contribute to the destruction of a loving relationship. Thus, jealousy does not show that a loving relationship has depth.
The partners in a loving relationship must have trust in one another. In fact, the trust holds together a committed, loving relationship. However, the jealousy in one of the partners or both partners breaks a loving relationship. Jealous shows that one partner does not have trust in the other. The receiving partners might essentially begrudge after realizing that they are not trusted. They might feel like they are controlled. Consequently, this might result in resentment and tension and eventually the end of a once loving relationship. A relationship that has depth does not end. For this reason, jealousy does not show that a loving relationship has depth.
“Secrets are okay to have even in a loving relationship.”
I do not agree that secrets are okay to have even in a loving relationship. Secrets destroy relationships. As a matter of fact, keeping secrets breaks the trust that partners have in one another. Ideally, trust is an imperative element in any relationship, especially a loving relationship. It is what keeps the relationship strong and work. Nonetheless, when one partner keeps secrets from the other, it breaks this trust. We feel betrayed when we realize that our partners have been withholding important information from us. Our trust in them breaks, and it is not easy to trust then again. In essence, it is very had to repair broken trust. The lack of trust by one partner in a relationship ruins it. Consequently, I strongly disagree that secrets are okay to have even in a loving relationship.
It is not okay to have secrets in a relationship because doing so makes one depressed and this might ruin such a relationship. In essence, keeping secrets is associated with depression. The people who keep secrets are said to have low moods and at times complain of having headaches. Withholding crucial information from the people we love makes us feel sad. We fear how they will react once they know the truth. The more the partners in a loving relationship keep secrets from each other, the more they become depressed. Depression leads to some problems in relationships. For instance, a depressed party in a loving relationship might not give attention to the other party. As a result, this might result in breakage of a relationship. It is, therefore, essential to reveal secrets in a relationship to avoid becoming sad.
Secrets result in lies. In essence, a habit of having secrets makes one become a liar. The more one keeps a secret in a relationship, the more it becomes difficult to tell the truth. Having secrets makes us develop a habit of lying. We do not anything bad with telling lies. In essence, when we lie in our relationships, we hurt our partners. Continuous lying produces a barrier of hurt in our relationships. We get hurt when we realize that our partners have been lying us. As a result, our trust in them ceases. It becomes hard to trust them again, and this negatively affects our relationships. For this reason, secrets are not okay to have even in a loving relationship.
“Fulfilling love relationships are possible even without sex.”
I agree that fulfilling love relationships are possible even without sex. In essence, a couple can have a satisfying love relationship even without engaging in sex. What matters a lot in the fulfilling love relationships is the emotional connection. The couples who have strong emotional connections keep their love relationships alive even without sex. We can still be intimate with our spouses even without engaging in sex. There are different ways that couples can be intimate devoid of having sex. For instance, couples can enjoy common interests and still have satisfying love relationships. Ideally, couples can have non-sexual romantic relationships that are fulfilling. They can engage in the activities such as cuddling, kissing, and sexual foreplay and still have fulfilling love relationships.
Additionally, it is possible for the spouses to have aromantic nonsexual relationships, which are fulfilling. These are relationships that do not involve any form of sexual and romantic contact. There are several relationships in which the partners do not have sex but are satisfying. For instance, the love relationships between old couples are satisfying and yet most of them do not have sex. The thing that is required in a love relationship without sex is a lot of communication. In fact, the frequent communication between the partners keeps the fire burning.
References
Protasi, S. (2014). Loving People for Who They Are (Even When They Don't Love You Back). European Journal of Philosophy.
