The conflict.
The conflict in question took place at a used books store where I purchased a book a week earlier. I usually look through all the pages really quickly before buying but this time I made a mistake of not doing that; after I brought the book home I did not touch it for a week, and when I finally opened it I found that almost half of the pages were covered in ink and it was unreadable. I tried to return the book or exchange it for another one but had a hard time explaining the situation to the manager.
Perception of the conflict.
Expressed struggle.
The conflict was expressed verbally and overtly in a conversation between me and the manager at the store; although we both kept it very polite I could feel that we clearly were not on the same page about the issue.
Interdependent parties.
I needed the manager to help me sort out the issue with the book I purchased; from the manager’s standpoint I was a customer who had to be satisfied with the service, or, in a more pragmatic way, a potential promotion asset..
Perceived incompatible goals.
My goal was to either return the book or exchange it for another one; at the same time, the manager did not find my story very believable because I showed up only in a week; I could have read the book and then come up with this idea to get my money back for it; his goal was to minimize financial loss for the store while still being able to resolve my issue.
Perceived scarce resources.
The perceived scarce resource was the credibility of my claims; since we did not know each other personally there was nothing to form mutual trust upon. I too could feel the same scarcity of credibility which was also backed up by the fact that they check all books before putting them out on the shelves.
Perceived interference in achieving the goals.
The manager at the store interfered with my goal of getting a refund or exchange because he did not find my claim credible; I interfered with his goal of resolving every customer’s issue in a way that is the most profitable for the business.
Other person’s perception of conflict.
Expressed struggle.
Mentioned above.
Interdependent parties.
Mentioned above.
Perceived incompatible goals.
The manager could have perceived me as a person who had the intention of scamming the store.
Perceived scarce resources.
Mentioned above.
Perceived interference in achieving the goals.
Mentioned above.
Summary of the conflict.
I knew that my story was not really a credible one; despite that I felt the need to stand by it because, after all, it was the truth. The same holds true for the manager, only in his case he stood by his version in which I was just trying to get my money back for a book I have read and then deliberately ruined.
Areas in which conflict management could be improved.
If one imagines the probability of a situation when a person reads a book, then pours ink all over it and tries to return it, it would be about as small as the probability of someone at the store not checking the book properly before putting it on the shelf. Still, the second option exists and is even more likely to happen, and the manager could have considered it (which he did eventually but by that time we both were starting to get on each other’s nerves a bit). So, instead of mainly focusing on the second part of his goal (preventing financial loss) he should have tried to look beyond it and focus more on the store’s reputation.
The role perception plays in conflict.
People have preconceived notions about each other; I perceived the manager as a person I can count on for help; because his job involves dealing with problematic customers, he had some sort of cautious and passive-aggressive attitude towards me because people usually tend to push their frustration on him, regardless of whether he has anything to do with its cause or not. So, in a way, his preconceived perception of me shaped his response which did not align with my perception of him.
Reflection.
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations when we know for sure that we are not at fault for anything but proving otherwise to anyone else may be impossible. It is quite unsettling, and even when it concerns small things it could be difficult to overcome the feeling of apparent injustice.
