For this assignment I decided to interview the mother of one of my good friends. Mrs. Elizabeth has been married to her husband Jake for 25 years and they have three children. I decided that interviewing her will be very interesting and useful because they have a rich experience of a successful marriage and can share a lot of important tips on how to keep everyone in the marriage happy even after 25 years.
Ok, so the first question I want to ask is probably the most general in the respect of marriage and I guess may be hard to answer. However, what do you think is the main pledge of a truly successful marriage?
Well, I would say conversation and understanding. It is very important to be able to talk to your spouse about anything that bothers you. The moments you start hiding something is when you begin to fall apart as a family unit. So, yes, conversation is vital. Of course, it is normal to have some little secrets but it is better to discuss some major problems when they occur.
Have you ever had a situation in your marriage when you felt like: Ok, this is it, I can’t take it anymore?
Definitely. Our marriage is not perfect. We have been through hard times a lot for the 25 years. But I think we kept it successful because we realized at the right time that divorce is not an option in our case. I think it is much harder and takes more effort to protect what you already have than just leave it and look for something else. And, besides, when two people undergo some problems together it makes them and their connection much stronger. And you start to appreciate the person and the fact that you both went through so much together.
You have three children. Do you think having kids is helping in dealing with marriage problems?
Well, I would say that sometimes children are the reason for those problems to appear, especially when you are young and you have a baby, you do not really know what to do sometimes. So it is very stressful and causes many misunderstandings. But at the same time you realize your responsibilities towards your child and you do not want to let him or her down. We always want our kids to be happy and this is greatly influenced by the environment they are raised in. So we have always tried to keep our children away from our problems and worked hard on ourselves to make our family a healthy environment for kids. And I guess it worked.
And I want to ask you one last question. What would you advice to couples who are going through hard times in their marriage now?
I always say that there are no perfect people. But everything is workable. It is natural that we often find some features of our spouse irritating and it is a real challenge to accept a person just the way he or she is. And I think this is what the whole marriage is about. When you love somebody and you both work hard on making your marriage perfect and at the end of the day your efforts will definitely pay off.
I think Elizabeth is a very wise woman. And it is a great merit of her that they kept their marriage so successful for 25 years. I totally agree with her that the main thing about marriage is understanding and cooperation in everything. When you know what you want and you work on that together, it will bring you the most profitable results afterwards.
