(Doctoral students must include the
following on the title page instead:
1. Compliments today are somewhat of a taboo. In the younger generation, especially among college students, many suffer from low self-esteem, which could easily be solved by providing positive comments. The problem many people face when deciding whether or not to give compliments is the fear of being misunderstood. When talking about someone’s appearance, they might take it the wrong way. In other cases, when a man comments a woman, they might believe that to be a sexually motivated compliment. This is the reason why I am usually not comfortable with giving out compliments.
On the other hand, receiving compliments is something that many people are uncomfortable with. This is because – I believe - receiving compliments is not a part of modern culture any more. Instead of taking compliments as a way of expressing positivity and support, many people are looking for a hidden purpose. Others are simply suffering from low self-esteem and reject anything positive being said about them. Positive support is important in effective leadership, and it can encourage individuals in the organization to believe in themselves, their own abilities, and the mission of the organization. I personally try to take compliments well, but have been reminded by some of my friends in the past to do it better. Instead of ignoring it, people should thank the person and acknowledge the fact that they had a positive comment about them. Compliments can be powerful for motivating employees, and creating a supportive, positive atmosphere in the workplace and in school. As the article stated (Aldrich, 2009, para 10: “Everybody has something to compliment. Everybody has something good in them. It just takes a second to find it”. In the future, I will work on trying to give and receive compliments better.
2. My comfort level does depend on who gives the compliment. Likewise, I might be less likely to give out compliments to a stranger than to somebody I know. With college students, sharing the same space for a long time, the task is easier. We talk about small things and college work anyway, and simply mentioning a new dress or hairstyle is appropriate. However, if I am not fully comfortable with the person’s culture or values, I am more careful. Cultural awareness is important, to avoid hurting people’s beliefs. For example, cutting one’s hair short in some cultures might be the sign of grief, therefore, without cultural awareness, people could make a mistake and unintentionally hurt others. I am more comfortable with giving compliments to people who are not my age, in particular those who are older, as they are more mature and are less likely to take it the wrong way. I often give compliments to tutors when they help me with a task and praise their skills, in a form of a positive, encouraging feedback. Likewise, when I help out in study groups, I use compliments as forms of encouragement. I believe that if compliments are given and received in a professional manner, they can improve work and study morale. However, I am not comfortable with giving out compliments to tick boxes. In some cases, I find it hard to think about a good aspect of a person, and the exercise described in the article could help me become more positive about people. I have also noticed that as I got older I am more comfortable evaluating compliments and less suspicious about the person’s intentions.
3. Compliments by one’s superior can be helpful if they are true and honest, and unhelpful if they are not accompanied by constructive criticism. While it is important that leaders maintain a positive atmosphere in the workplace, they should not neglect negative behaviors. A true leader has people skills that will shape positive working relationships. Compliments are good for gainin employee commitment to the vision, but supporting colleagues should not be restricted to compliments. By providing skill training and coaching to help individuals in the organization grow and develop is another positive approach that will create a good atmosphere. Real leaders who engage in the coaching or supporting style of leadership will use compliments more than those engaging in directing style. Still, compliments can help support employees’ socioeconomic needs, and encourage workers to believe in their own abilities, as well as the shared goals. Positive comments can encourage personal development and motivate learning, which will result in better performance and employee satisfaction. A weak leader, however, might use compliments as a way of avoiding conflict in the organization, and this is unhelpful. Without honesty and open discussion of the person’s strengths and development areas, real support cannot be provided, and progress cannot be achieved. In leadership, it is also important to ensure that compliments are justified, to avoid the suspicion of favoritism at the workplace.
4. An employee can be motivated through compliments on every development level.
The first level is low competence and high commitment. At this stage, the supporting style of leadership is the most effective. When the employee starts in a new position, their competence level is low, and their commitment is high. Instead of criticizing their work, the leader should provide positive comments on their commitment to the organization and learning, while providing coaching and training to help them achieve their personal and professional development goals.
On the second stage, after gaining some competence, the employee will need further coaching and feedback, however, the compliments should focus a little bit more on maintaining interest in the work, by providing career progression and learning opportunities for the individual. It is important that the leader creates a coaching and development plan, and listens to the aims and aspirations of the employee. This is the stage when the goals of the organization need to be aligned with the individual’s, and collaboration between the leader and the employee needs to be strengthened.
On the third stage, the employee will have a moderate or high competence, and their development has to be critically assessed and evaluated. Their achievements must be praised, but their development areas also have to be pointed out. As their commitment is low, it is necessary to engage in conversations related to setting shared goals and missions. Employee development and encouragement needs to be based on constructive appraisal meetings.
On the fourth stage, when the employee has high competence and high commitment, the leader needs to ensure that the company is able to maintain the organizational asset, the competency of the employee. It is time to find out more about the career goals of the employee and support them through coaching and personalized development programs. This way, their commitment and positive attitude can be maintained. Compliments can be used to make colleagues feel valued and respected.
References
Aldrich, Marta. (2009) The Compliment Guys. American Profile.
