Reflection Question 2: This chapter describes three kinds of conflicts (esteem, control, affiliation). Of the three kinds, which is the most common in the conflicts you have with others? Discuss.
The most common conflict that I have with others is control conflict. Control conflict emerges where a person wants to have a feel of command and a level of control over other people (Jones and Fabian, 29). The desire to subordinate other people and be the one who tells them what to do causes conflicts. This type of conflict appears in my life where i get in conflict with others over decision making. Control conflict arises when I want to be the sole decision maker among my friends but then others appear to have the same thinking. This causes quarrels and commotion on the way forward creating the need to start a conflict resolution mechanism. Control conflict is tied to power and charisma (William).
Action Question 1: Briefly describe an actual conflict you had with a family member, roommate or coworker in the recent past. Identify the positions and interests of both of you in the conflict.
I had a conflict with my roommates on the issue of bringing visitors to our room and holding parties in our room. What my roommates’ interests were was to hold parties in our room every now and then, play loud music and invite all kinds of friends over. My interests were to have a calm room without noise and so many visitors in order to create a conducive environment to study. I wanted to have a feeling of control over my roommates and dictate to them that they were not to hold any parties in our room. Control conflict ensued here as all of us tried to play the leader role of the room. They all ganged up against me since I was the only one against their will. Things got really nasty and we occasionally threw fists on one another. We managed to solve the conflict later by creating a consensus on when to hold the parties and when not to.
Works Cited
Jones, M., & Fabian, A. C. (2006). Conflict. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
William Ury, TED. The Walk from “no” to “yes”.2010. Accessed on 25 January, 2017 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc6yi_FtoNo&feature=youtu.be
