For my first reading journal, I chose to discuss the first four chapters in Michael Kimmel’s “Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men”
In the first two chapters, “Guyland” is introduced as “the stage of a young man’s life between adolescence and adulthood.” (pg. 4) Kimmel then begins to set the tone: members of Guyland are essentially man children who didn’t receive enough guidance in their lives, and they now exist in a limbo-like state of life, where hook-ups and bouncing from job to job are common, and socialization between men involves frat parties, excessive drinking, violence, and even rape.
As a result, members of Guyland often have troubles meeting once important markers of adulthood, which, according to Kimmel, are as follows (pg. 24):
Completing a college education
Starting a career
Getting married
Having children and becoming a parent
In the 1960s, most men under the age of 30 had accomplished those milestones quickly, whereas now, Kimmel argues that most men have a much more difficult time reaching these milestones, and some men in their mid-thirties are still stuck in Guyland. Nowadays, men commonly believe that if they remain unmarried, they will be able to have more sex. In this chapter, Kimmel also introduces the idea of an entitlement generation, where men have increasingly high expectations for the salary, flexibility, and benefits of their jobs, but have little desire to do grunt work or remain loyal to a company.
In chapter 3 and 4, Kimmel goes over some of the “guy code” which includes sayings like “bros before hos” which refers to male friends coming before hook-ups or girlfriends (pg. 44). Kimmel argues that this code is artificial; it consists of social constructs that are relentlessly enforced and policed by other men. For example, men often fear showing their emotions or expressing feelings because other men will accuse them of being gay. High school is a major training ground for Guyland; it introduces the code of masculinity by which members of Guyland live their lives by. Punishments are greater, stakes are higher, and the requirements of popularity shift. Boys who are considered uncool or geeky are bullied, while some socially accepted boys experience hazing to become members of teams or organizations.
Overall, these chapters introduce the book really well. I feel like Kimmel is really able to explain some of the problems with boys and men today. I’ve experienced some of these issues first-hand, and I personally feel as though Kimmel is really accurate in how he describes Guyland and its rules. I also like how Kimmel talks about both genders, and doesn’t ignore females; for example, he starts talking about subjects in school and how it relates to gender. Boys are usually more inclined to take math and science courses, and he argues that this is because boys feel pressured to enroll in more of these courses because they are thought to require masculine abilities or thought processes (pg. 73).
I really feel as though Kimmel is accurate in the way he describes today’s culture. I’ve noticed that guys tend to get “stuck” more often, having a period in life where they bounce from job to job, girl to girl, and even apartment to apartment, without thinking about their futures. In the 60s, 70s, and even as late as the 80s-90s, men were valued more for a sense of maturity, for attaining milestones and settling down and getting good paying, high quality jobs through hard work and perseverance. Now? The landscape has changed drastically. Nowadays, it seems that even TV and movies value guys who drink, exist in a nomadic lifestyle where nothing is permanent and everything lacks guidance or responsibility. I think Kimmel had a really good point about some of the cultural aspects of Guyland; a lot of it revolves around drinking, violence, and even rape. Not only is the nomadic lifestyle of members of Guyland seemingly aimless, but it is also proliferated with disgusting, sometimes dangerous hazing rituals, excessive drinking, violence towards other men and women, and even rape. There have been a lot more stories lately about college rapes. When you go online and read men’s comments about how the victim asked for it, or about how it was the victim’s fault, I think it becomes clear that Guyland isn’t just something that a narrow portion of men participate in. Rather, the ideals of Guyland have begun to invade tragedies that would normally be addressed with sympathy. To me, this is the biggest validation of Kimmel’s musings.
