Introduction:
In modern life divorce has become a usual thing for many people though it is a tragic experience for almost all members of a family. About 50% of first marriages in the United States end in divorce and rates increase up to 60% among those who get married for the second time. Patrick F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill insist that divorce damages society and " consumes social and human capital". They have named several ways in which divorce can influence both certain individuals and society, they include increase of crime and drug use, drop of one's earning capacity, decrease of household income, weakening of children's health and even duration of life.
Some time ago divorce status was disgraceful turned out to be a scandal but nowadays it is perceived superficially and lightly. There is even a suggestion that divorce can make people happy, for example children who do not see their parents fighting all the time would not grow up in permanent conflicts and would live in stable environments. The impact which divorce has on children is much more significant for them than for parents. Nevertheless, there are numerous studies which prove that divorce has a great influence on children on emotional, social, psychological levels.
The Effects of Divorce on Children:
Age differences in reaction to divorce:
Divorce can evoke the feelings and emotions which children had not faced with before, that is why it can lead to serious changes in child's behavior. Children do not have enough understanding why their parents conflict and what makes them take a decision to get divorced. A divorce can cause numerous issues concerning intercommunication between members of the family, visiting children, planning holidays etc. Certainly, all kids have different reactions depending on age, gender, socioeconomic status and parent's attitude. Preschoolers experience lack of coping skills that leads to a serious disappointment and kids at this age often blame themselves due to their inherent egocentrism. That is why they often believe they are responsible for possible reunion of their family. According to Lesley Foulkes-Jamison's studies, those at the age from 6 to 8 are less likely to feel their guilt but they can experience a heart-break because of the fear to lose one parent. Children aged 9 to 12 are conscious enough to understand the situation but they are more likely to express their support to one parent or show anger towards parents because of the divorce. Teenager's adjustment can be easier due to their ability to realize the reasons and consequences of divorce
" The effect of divorce on children’s hearts, minds, and souls ranges from mild to severe, from seemingly small to observably significant, and from short-term to long-term" (Fagan P.F., Churchill A.,2012). It is almost impossible to know one's reactions to divorce beforehand but there are some findings and societal effects concerning most children from divorced families as a group.
Aspects which increase development of difficulties concerning divorce:
Robert Hughes (2005) tries to explain in his article how children from divorcing families differ from others and what factors make children change their behavior and cause difficulties. General findings from some studies have reported lower academic skills, behavioral and communication problems among children from divorced families. These results were actual speaking only of a group of children, it did not mean that all children from a certain group show the same results. It is necessary to take into account numerous factors and aspects of a child's life though the media often takes the part of only one side. Robert Hughes insisted that it was more important to pay attention to the risks which influence on development of various children's difficulties. He mentioned parental loss (lack of contact with one parent and parent's support), economic loss (using less economic resources than in intact family), experiencing more stresses (changes in school, home and communication with friends), participation in conflicts between parents, poor parental adjustment or competence.
Parental loss is characterized by loss of family interaction between a child and a parent. Parents "provide emotional support and practical assistance as well as serve as role models for their children" (Robert Hughes, 2005). Fagan P.F. and Churchill A. explain this situation as a kind of "divorce" between a child and a parent following from significant changes happening in their life. Kids report better emotional and behavioral results when feeling warmth and support from nonresidential parents. Such results have strong connection with a child's ability to trust his parents and friends.
There are many discussions about how economic situation in a family influences on a child's well-being. It is considered that single parents usually face with difficulties related to lower income but researches have not proved strong evidence to this suggestion. It is explained by the fact that child's well-being depends on much more factors in addition to money. Moreover, children who often face with stressful situations during the divorce are more likely to have problems at school and during juvenile period.
Speaking of parental adjustment, psychological well-being of children is closely connected with psychological well-being of their parents. Along with this fact, it is known that skills and knowledge of parents in dealing with their kids also have a great influence on their interrelations and, correspondingly, on how a child is doing. Unfortunately, many people experience diminished parenting skills after a divorce. According to Patrick F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill divorced mothers are less able to provide their kids emotional and psychological support, they are not so tender and sociable and try to discipline their children more strictly. Conflicts in families during and after the divorce were the focus of numerous studies concerning their influence on children. It was found that children from families where parents could cooperate and reduce disputes are living better and are less likely to face with similar problems in their further life.
Patrick F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill wrote about gender differences in views and reactions to divorce. They have mentioned that girls are more likely to feel doubts and anxiety in their further life when they take decisions related to marriage and family life. Moreover, Lesley Foulkes-Jamison explained that girls from divorced families are more likely to become sexually active earlier. Father-absent families can have negative effects on boys from these families, boys can have more feminine sexual identification. From the other side, in their further life boys from divorced families can be disposed to be both hostile and a kind of saving attitude to women.
Lesley Foulkes-Jamison wrote that adjustment to divorce can last up to two years or longer, even children who adjust to a family discord can face with problems when they become adults. Conflicts between parents even exacerbate the adjustment process, children are doing better when there are regular meetings with non-custodial parent.
Influence of divorce on academic skills of children:
Studies of academic achievements among children from divorced families were mentioned in the article written by Dr. Judith S. Wallerstein. The author wrote that children of divorce are less likely to graduate from school, " about 10% fewer children go on to college if their parents are divorced and they are about 30% less likely to receive their college degree compared to children of married parents". Academic performance of children depends on their emotional state, stresses and conflicts they face with. Moreover, single parents have less time and efforts and pay less attention to their child's educational process. Economic problems are connected with inability to attend private lessons, provide additional resources and good which can help children to succeed at school. The same economic problems often do not allow children to go to colleges, for example some school graduates are afraid to go on with higher education because of lack of emotional and financial support from parents. Still, Wallerstein reminded that all differences in academic skills are not so considerable, every child copes with academic and emotional problems differently.
Long-term consequences of divorce:
Some short-term effects of a family discord include aggression, depression, anger, worsening of discipline, lower self-esteem, impulsivity, changes for worth in academic achievements, increased dependency etc. D. Wayne Matthews in his paper was focusing on how mentioned effects could cause long-term consequences of divorce for children. "Professional counselors have shown that all kinds of traumatic experiences of childhood can be repressed in the subconscious" (Matthews). Conducting numerous studies has led to important findings about long-term consequences of divorce. Young people from divorced families mentioned that known traumatic event made them stronger and more independent. Contrary to such opinion, it was examined that children from intact families reported better physical health. Moreover, those who had faced with divorce developed a number of emotional problems such as fear of betrayal, increased anxiety, anger, psychological ill-being, depression and life dissatisfaction. Speaking of social aspect of the issue, they are less likely to develop strong supportive relationships with fiends and close people, experience lack of trust in relations with a spouse, earlier start of sexual life, lower socioeconomic status, avoiding conflict situations and their solving in marriage, less affection for their parents.
Conclusion:
It is possible to conclude that divorce is a traumatic experience for everyone but the most significant impact of divorce lies in relationships between parents and their children. Vijender Kumar wrote that " the child’s psychological balance is deeply affected through the marital disruptionand adjustment for changes is affected by the way parents continue positive relationships with their children." There is a belief that kids from divorced families have problems with trying to cooperate, compromise, negotiate that is very important for reaching success in life. Every parent should take care of a child receiving stable and positive environment in order to save strong interrelationships between all members of the family and reduce negative effects of divorce on children. Though some consequences of a family discord are striking it is necessary to remember that most families have abilities to cope with problem and adjust to circumstances in several years. Unfortunately, it is impossible to avoid all stress and disappointment connected with divorce but it is possible to make changes in environment in order to make it stable and reliable.
References
Fagan P.F., Churchill A. (2012). The Effects of Divorce on Children. Research Synthesis. Retrieved from http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF12A22.pdf
Foulkes-Jamison L. The Effects Of Divorce On Children. Reprinted with permission from GAINESVILLE FAMILY MAGAZINE. Retrieved from http://cpancf.com/articles_files/art_32attached_file.pdf
Hughes R., Jr., Ph.D. (2005). The Effects of Divorce on Children. Department of Human and Community Development University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. 6 pages. Retrieved from https://www.ideals.illinois.edu/bitstream/handle/2142/14470/The%20Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children--2005.pdf?sequence=2
Kumar V. Impact of Divorce on Children. Retrieved from https://www.academia.edu/1870796/Impact_of_Divorce_on_Children
Matthews D.W. Long-term Effects of Divorce on Children. Published by North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service. Retrieved from https://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/pdfs/fcs482.pdf
Wallerstein J.S. What are the possible consequences of divorce for children? Chapter 5. Retrieved from http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/Lesson5.pdf
