Healthy Grief
The grieving process according to Kubler-Ross
Kubler-Ross defined the five stages of grieving which include Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Even though he suggested that the stages occur in the proposed process, there is no definite order that an individual can take. It is however important for an individual to go through the stages which will enhance the healing process. In the denial stage, a person has not accepted the fact that they have lost a loved one. He will therefore try to live as if nothing happened with the hope that it is a dream that they will wake up from. In the second stage of anger, the truth about the death of a loved one is slowly dawning on them and they are feeling and feel the need to get angry (Kubler-Ross & Kessler, 2005). There is a tendency of wanting to blame somebody else and therefore getting angry with him or her.
They may be angry with the doctors, the drive and even close relatives. In the third stage, the person starts bargaining about the whole incidence. They think of the possible ways through which they could have prevented the death and keep wishing they did this (Mitsch & Brookside, 1993). This is usually followed by promises of being nice to people and wishing that their dead would be a live so that. The forth stage is depression where the person is facing the consequences of not having their loved ones in their lives. The thought of having to move on without their loved ones cause them pain and ache. They are held between the carious means through which they can move on but realize that the gap cannot be filled. The last stage is acceptance where the person realizes that despite what happened to them, life is moving on. They are obliged to leave the past behind them despite of how difficult it is. They start engaging in activities that will relax and keep them busy.
The grieving process according to Job of the Bible
The story of Job in the bible is a clear example of a person who numerous deaths and losses. His losses happened in an instant and involved people who were very close to him. He loved his children so much that after every feast, he would sacrifice to God and repents on their behalf. The news of the loss of all his nine children was not an easy one to bear. It made him move from a respected rich man min the community to a desolate and sick person who even lost the respect of his wife (Frazier, 1999). Through the process, we see him counter his grief by thanking God realizing that he is the one who gave him and therefore has a right to take them.
This was an acceptance process where by he recognized that people have a destiny, which is death. Whether they accept it or not, death is inevitable. We however see him get angry at some point saying that he came naked and will go back naked. He also recognizes the fact that his worst fears of death happened with the loss of his family. Contrary to what was expected, his friends and wife did not give him the consolation he ended at the moment. They ridiculed him on the basis of his faith and advised him to abandon it. At such a vulnerable moment, he chose not to listen to is friend but stood firm in faith.
Comparison between the grieving process of Kubler-Ross and Job of the Bible
Compared to the grieving process outlined by Kubler-Ross, Job of the bible went through the grieving process in a rather a has way. He was held between being obedient to God and accepting the fact that the treatment he received was not fair. As a servant of God who had been faithful in his religion, the loss must have been a shock to him (Chapman, 2006). The process of denial began when he consoled himself that the God who had given him the children had a right to take them. In the angry stage, he became angry with his three friends around his wife who were ridiculing him and telling him to deny God.
He detested the fact that they were giving him the wrong advice, which was contrary to his faith. The bargaining process is the most prominent in the book where he talks about the wisdom of God and the marvelous creatures. He mentions the fact that nobody can understand God and no person can detect his ways. In the depression stage, we see him left all alone when the three friends and wife left him. He feels lonely and tries to come with the fact that he has nothing. In the final stage of acceptance, we see job accepting the fact that God is great and that he shall see him through. He also reaches a point where he feels that death and loss has taken toll on him and the family. The realization that he will be dying sooner makes him accept his fate and move on with life. The grieving processes as outlined by Kubler-Ross may not be followed according to the order given but they are process that a person has to go through. They determine how effective a person overcomes loss and face their next life.
The relationship and interaction between joy and the above grieving models and examples
The external environment does not define Joy but rather it is defined by the state of mind. When a person is grieving, there could be many things that could be running through their mind; they may include the responsibility they had towards the deceased. Grieving does not always mean that a person is angry at the fact that the person is dead. It simply implies that they are yet to overcome the fact that the have departed. Deep within the heart of the mourner, there could be satisfaction that they tried their best in taking care of the deceased. Depending on how the person died and what led to their death, there may be no regrets within the person. For instance, if a person died after battling with a disease for a long time, died during old age or they were just a nuisance to the society. The grieving feeling may be quite different and illuminate joy and satisfaction.
Preferred method of handling grief
Grief is a process that happens differently to different people. it mainly depends on the relationship that the person grieving had with the deceased and how they died. There are some people may take quite a shorter time while others take longer. It also depends on the age of the person grieving and the kind of support they receive. A person should not get worried when they do not go through the normal grieving process. The reaction may be quite different because of personalities and the environment. It is hence necessary for people to be allowed to grieve in whichever way they may prefer and not be given a specific procedure.
Reference list
Chapman, M. (2006). Bible-Based Counseling: A Professional Approach to Inner Healing and Personal Growth. New York: iUniverse.
Frazier, C. (1999). The Book of Job. New York: Grove/Atlantic, Incorporated.
Kubler-Ross, E. & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. London: Simon and Schuster.
Mitsch, R. & Brookside, L. (1993). Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love: Daily Meditations to Help You Through the Grieving Process.
