Marital Infidelity Essay Examples

The word infidelity is a tremendously strong one that awakes your worst feelings. It is associated with ancestral ideas of sin, punishment and obviously fear. If you are the victim of infidelity you will probably experience the most negative and painful emotions a human being can endure, ranging from a sense of unfairness, to treacherous betrayal, abandonment, fear and last, but not least, a nameless shame and humiliation. However, no matter what our personal judgment and values may dictate, marital infidelity is an undeniable reality, a cross-cultural practice that is present in all societies and times, although with different consequences. If you go back in time, you will find evidence of marital infidelity in most cultures. The Bible and the Alcoran, just to mention two of the best-known religious sources, are merciless when it comes to the subject of infidelity. Only death, and a painful one, would be the appropriate moral lesson to be taught - and therefore learnt - by all those who were witnesses to the public punishment of an adulterous. The adulterous had to be punished publicly, lapidated, buried alive, burnt. There was no other way, or fear, a strong dissuader of mischievous conducts, would not be strong enough to prevent the repetition of the treacherous act of adultery. There was no mercy, because none could be given. There is still no mercy, nowadays, because it cannot be given, just as there seems to be no way to curse and destroy the roots of infidelity, as well.
However cruel it may seem, the brutality usually present in most situations involving infidelity is a display of extreme fear. All social structures are based in rules, impositions, moral values, and ethic. We need them to fight the unpredictability of chaos. According to physics, chaos occurs as a result of the extreme sensitivity to tiny differences in the initial conditions of a system – for example the weather. The same can metaphorically be said when we refer to the system of moral values in our society. If even a small change in our well stratified moral pyramid of values is permitted, the consequences may be unpredictable. If any small act of rebellion is allowed – and marital infidelity is probably the greatest one – disaster and destruction might wash away ancient traditions that helped build the society, as it is known today, where family still is the basilar cell. Fear explains the extreme acts of revenge perpetrated by betrayed lovers. Fear which is always hidden behind the mask of aggression, violence and even passionate crime. Fear that cannot find any release, unless using the attack as a defense weapon. It is a primitive, almost unconscious, mechanism developed by society to help control the uncontrollable.
It is interesting to notice how little human beings have changed along the centuries in what concerns feelings and emotions. We may have developed technology and science to unbelievable levels in the last century. On the other hand, our emotional answers to the same quests have remained strangely untouched, almost as if they were rooted in an ancestral conduct code. Love, in all its forms, is the most powerful trigger to emotions. And love is, no matter how moral laws try to tame it, too unruly and wild to be disciplined. Passion, which feeds on deep sexual drive, can transform a wise man into a totally uncontrollable one. Infidelity drinks from that source; therefore it cannot be explained by logic or destroyed by morality, common sense or even punishment. It is atemporal and probably immortal. So, the question to be asked is this one: where does infidelity begin? Does it start in our unspoken fantasies? What you do not tell your spouse, what you conceal, even if you never transform a fantasy into reality, can be considered infidelity? And why do we have fantasies? The answer is rather simple: no one, no matter how good or perfect, can fulfill all our wishes, expectations and needs. You can love someone and still betray him or her, at least intimately, in the secret of your heart. Most people associate infidelity to obvious reasons. You may be tired of a marriage, worn out by thousands of duties and everyday burdens, therefore in need of some sort of escape. You may have developed your personality and tastes in a different direction from your partner and look at him, one day, wondering what you are doing together, as there is no more emotion, intimacy or fulfillment in the relationship. If at that moment you happen to meet someone who seems to understand you and attract you, even if time unveils a disappointing reality, you may simply fall in love and be trapped in an unexpected triangle. Some people are simply incapable of resisting a challenge and the risk of an adventure, and nothing can be more thrilling than facing the danger of a forbidden relationship, mainly one involving sex, the most powerful magnet there is. The internet, which was able to unlock all doors through the social networking systems, is probably one of the most powerful channels to infidelity nowadays. It is a bridge between reality and fantasy, so its power is unlimited.
However, there is a type of infidelity, which has no reason to sustain a theory. Some people have no wish, no drive to infidelity, but the tapestry of life trapped them in a riddle that has no logic answer: an unwanted love. Another sort of love, or a different side of love, which does not want to exchange one love for another love, but aims at filling in a gap people had no idea was there. Most of these, who admit infidelity, would not leave their spouse, whom they seem to love and feel comfortable with, unless they were forced to by circumstances. They live in fear of being exposed, but, on the other hand, seem unable to give up the new relationship that brings immense joy. Here infidelity is quite similar to the concept of polygamy and may even lead to stable, long-term relationships.
In conclusion, I believe all our choices will eventually lead to a consequence. There is always a price to pay, but only you can find out, sometimes the hardest way, what is worth doing to make you feel happy. Eastern cultures divide emotions in just two words: pain and pleasure. Not evil and good. Not hate and love. You seek what gives you pleasure and you avoid what causes pain. Your life is like a boat in a river and the only way to survive is avoiding coming too close to the banks of the river. Too much pleasure leads to addiction; too much pain will destroy you. The concept of infidelity is mingled in this concept of pain and pleasure, taken to the extreme, and you, and only you, can choose your path, outline your story and write your final lines. But whatever you chose to do with your life concerning this subject, remember to assess first your capacity to deal with the consequences. In the end, believe me, everything will be a matter of choices and choices that matter..