Any relationship is bound to face challenges from the individuals because it involves two people who are different. Individuals are unique and not any two are similar; even identical twins are different in one way or the other. Misunderstandings arebound to occur due to the uniqueness of personality and behavior of each individual and therefore causing conflict. People who decide to be in a relationship, therefore, must understand their differences to ensure efficient and healthy coexistence. Communication is an integral part of any union because it provides better understanding which is an essential requirement for a successful relationship between the partners as outlined inEpstein and Baucom (2003). Many relationship crises have been found to be due to ineffective communication between the partners. Couple counseling is important in every relationship and its aim is to promote closeness by creating understanding. This paper outlines the theoretical approaches, techniques, and interventions in couple counseling.
Theoretical approaches
In the case of Carol’s and Francisco’s crisis, one of the theoretical approaches whose application can help in solving their problem is the cognitive behavioral approaches. Epstein and Baucom (2003) illustrates that cognitive behavioral theory states that behavior can be learned from past experiences, and they can as well be unlearned, and this involves using the mind to influence the behavior. The approach combines both the cognitive and behavioral approaches. Francisco needs to stop his behavior of flirting with other women in social places because from Carol's explanation she thinks Francisco is a liar and player based on his flirting behavior. He, therefore, need to stop so that Carol may not think otherwise next time and therefore avoid the false accusation that may spark quarrels between them. Carol is ambivalent about the relationship and therefore if Francisco cannot change she is likely to leave. Francisco being ready to do everything to keep her, therefore, need to change his behavior.
Both Carol and Francisco also need to change their view about the relationship. They should learn to avoid blaming each other whenever they are facing any challenge. They should always try to find solutions together and own the relationship. Carol also needs to learn not to judge Francisco based on his past behavior; she should stop seeing her partner as a cheat and one who screws around. She should understand that people have different personalities and therefore behave differently when around people. Francisco being an outgoing person may befriend all kinds of individuals, but it should not be taken to being a liar.
Another theoretical approach that I may use in solving Carol and Francisco crisis is cognitive analytic therapy. In this therapy, the partners are encouraged to develop abilities that will enable them to change their undesired behavior. The theory suggests development of skills that allow them to identify and change their habits. Each of them has their negative thoughts that need change for example Carol should explore her ideas about Francisco being a liar and therefore find ways of improving it. She needs to understand that despite her partner being outgoing he has never crossed the boundary of friendship with the women he associates. The cognitive analytical theory requires that the victims draw from their capabilities in exploring their negative thoughts.
Counseling techniques
Counselors employ different types of counseling techniques to counsel their clients, especially couples. According to Conte, (2009), counseling techniques are the skills that a counselor should possess to ensure good communication with the clients i.e. those that engage the clients fully. The methods used dictate the type of interaction that would prevail between the counselor and the clients. Counseling techniques also refer to procedures and processes employed to facilitate productive counseling session. Clarification is one of the techniques used by counselors, and it involves the instructor often asking the clients for clarification to understand the situation and therefore prevent assumptions that could interfere with the feedback. Clarification also enables the clients to explain more about their problem and in the process identify their weaknesses and draw solutions. In the case of Carol and Francisco, I ensured that I asked them for clarification and through this they were able to explain the problem distinct from the person. They were also able to solve the problem without blaming it on the other.
Open-ended questions also called non-restricted question can be used, Richardson(2010), explains that open ended questioning is an important technique of counseling that enables the clients to give details about their crisis. Caro was able to explain her fears and her plans for the relationship. From asking open-ended questions, she revealed that she is ambivalent about the relationship and therefore may leave anytime soon if the situation does not improve. Asking open-ended questions would also assure the clients that I was interested in helping them in finding a solution to their problem and also assure them of someone who was listening and understanding them. Clients were also able to explain more reasons behind them experiencing the challenge.
As a counselor one must provide an environment that will give the clients an impression of trustworthiness as outlined by Richardson (2010). I will assure them that the information I had about them was safe with me, and will never share them with anyone. They opened up to me more, and we were able to get solutions to their problems. The trustworthy environment can be created by the counselor being congruent and empathetic in that he gives genuine and realistic feedback. I tried my best in giving the clients honest opinions and comments. I will also ensure that I don't impose my beliefs and values on them so that at the end they may own the solutions and therefore does not find it hard putting them into practice.
Listening skills are an important skill an effective counselor must possess. Richardson, (2010), outlines that counseling like any other relationship requires listening which will show the clients that the speaker understands and interprets the information correctly. A counselor may show this by summarizing what the clients are saying, asking for clarifications, and taking note of the non-verbal communication. Through listening skills, the client understands more because most feelings expression is through non-verbally. The clients are also encouraged to give more details as they know someone is listening to them. The speaker is also able to gather hidden information in the unconscious mind which influences behavior greatly. The counselor should always try not to interrupt the client and just give them time to express their concerns.
The last technique I would apply to ensure effective counseling session is reflecting on the feeling. Reflection on the feelings the clients are expressing shows them that the counselor is aware of the feelings the clients are experiencing and therefore assure them that they are not alone, and it is not wrong to feel that way. The speaker can reflect by using exact phrases like those used by their clients in expressing themselves. Reflection also helps the client understand more and find more solutions to the clients' problems.
Interventions
Finally, in any counseling session, there must be interventions which refer to actions that the client suggests solving the problem. The actions should not be imposed on the clients but should be suggestions by both the counselor and client to ensure embracement by the client. Recommendations should be through discussion and agreement. Communication improvement is one of the interventions I would come up with because from the case study we realize that Carol was not happy with Francisco's behavior of being friendly to every woman in social situations.
Had she communicated this to her partner, he would have explained himself to her, and therefore she would not have blamed her for the newly diagnosed condition. If they would be practicing effective communication, then Francisco would have explained that he is only friendly to them because of his out-going personality but can never cheat on her. Such assurance would have created understanding, trust and security and therefore, limit sparking up of crises. Effective communication would also prevent emotional avoidance where couples do not express their feelings freely to their partners creating emotional distance.
Another intervention would be behavior change. Both the partners need to change their views on the relationship. Francisco needs to understand that Carol is not happy with his out-going personality and therefore should change to accommodate her. He also needs to know the limits Carol would want him to reach when associating with his female friends to avoid upsetting his partner. Carol, on the other hand, should try and understand his partner especially his out-going personality. She should know that people are different and therefore understand them to be able to accommodate them. She should avoid blaming his partner for problems that they may face but rather discuss how they can solve them. Both need to see each other as friends to enhance closeness and openness.
Conclusion
In conclusion, counseling therapy is critical for any relationship. Due to the differences between two people, any relationship is bound to face challenges, and therefore, couples should always try to talk about them and also seek help or guidance from counselors. In the case of Carol and Francisco, personality difference could be the key cause of their crisis. Carol blames Francisco for being responsible for infecting her because of his outgoing personality. Had they communicated effectively, such blame games in their relationship would have been prevented. Communication enhances understanding of each other's uniqueness and therefore enables partners to know how to treat each better.
References
Conte, C. (2009). Advanced techniques for counseling and psychotherapy. New York: Springer Pub. Co.
Epstein, N., & Baucom, D. H. (2003). Enhanced cognitive-behavioral therapy for couples: A contextual approach. Washington, D.C: American Psychological Association
Richardson, R. W. (2010). Couples in Conflict: A Family Systems Approach to Marriage Counseling. Lanham: Fortress Press.
