There are different perspective on what and how masculinity should be manifested since the ancient times up to the present. Masculinity seems to have been defining gender and gender roles in different societies all over the world. It is therefore important to understand this concept. Interestingly, there are two authors who have delved with the concept of masculinity thoroughly in their respective essays. These two authors are Peter Tragos and Michael Kimmel. A comparative analysis of their essays reveals that both authors perceive masculinity as a social concept. They also want to liberate the minds of their readers, especially men, so that men can show their feminine or softer sides, which would ultimately pave the way for the possibility of showcasing their diverse, innate characteristics. The repercussion of this is that, both authors are suggesting that hatred, unhealthy competition among men, and fear of homosexuality are social and psychological problems that can be solved by making changes at the personal and societal level.
Theme1: Masculinity is a norm
While there are diverse arguments on what masculinity is, both authors suggest that masculinity is a norm or a tradition of societies. What this basically means is that a man has to act in certain ways and must develop certain characteristics in order to be respected or acknowledge as masculine by the society. This idea was well discussed by Peter Tragos in “Monster Monster Masculinity: Honey, I’ll be in the Garage Reasserting my Manhood.” Tragos notes that way back then, it is very easy to have a concrete definition of being a “man” since it is what was expected of them; it was a norm to act masculine if you are a man. Tragos further explained that traditionally, it is normal for men to be concerned about how well they are groomed but not about how they look. This in turn also affects that of the women who have more tendencies to maintain their femininity but they are more inclined in strengthening their authority. Moreover, the usual head of the family is the man because he is the provider. Moreover, based on the book, being a man is being able to work in a garage; it gives off a very masculine vibe. It is indeed a way for men to get away with the feminine tasks that they do when doing chores inside the house. It is easy to imagine that men who work in garage are strong, powerful, and witty since they work with hammers, saw woods, fix cables and cars, cut boards; all of these things give a vision of what their real and traditional roles should be. Garage is a place where men are endowed with strength and power. It is evident in the book that there is this kind of want and need for a breakthrough from the norms. Yes, it is very important that men still have to act on their traditional roles but it is not wrong to adopt and work and show off their other side, which is being somewhat feminine. These ideas are supported by Michael Kimmel in his work entitled, “Masculinity as Homophobia.” According to Kimmel, men are deemed to be strong and tough that puts a lot of pressure on the society’s stereotype roles that results to the said extensive masculinity. This in turn results to a “rule’ on how men should act and interact with both women and men as well. With these scenario, when a man deviates from the “line and standards of a being a real man” he will be categorized as homosexual. Nevertheless, one additional insight that is very important in Kimmels’ is the concept of “homophobia.” While Targos delve more on the sociological aspect of masculinity, Kimmel also delved with the psychological aspect by stating that masculinity is shaped by the fear of men against other men. This fear is termed “homophobia” or the fear of being called homosexual relative to other men. In other words, aside from being a norm of the society, Kimmel asserts that masculinity is also a competition among men. Kimmel elaborates on this point explaining that competition among men is very rampant especially when it comes to sports, career and life as a whole. Even in television shows, movies and music, the competition is very evident. This is now leading to men having fear for themselves if they do not become one of the highest kinds of man. Unfortunately, one of the signatures of being a strong man is if you can be authoritative and can somewhat inflict violence. The connection between violence and masculinity can be traced back to ancient times when a man can be considered great if he wins a battle or leads his nation to victory in wars. As of the present, rulers of the biggest nations and powerful ones around the world are mostly men. Moreover, in news, only few cases are shown wherein a woman causes violence, but it is always shown that men are the one who cause clamor and riots.
Theme 2: Concepts of Masculinity Changes through Time
Consistent with the first theme that is previously discussed, Tragos notes that the concepts of what is masculine and what is not has been varying through time. For example, in contrast to the ancient times, today, men do have various identities in the society that make it difficult for their roles to be defined. For the past three decades, there are no pressures on how men and women should act which is merely based on their gender. Also, it can be observed that their respective roles somewhat interchange or are being reversed. Before, men are expected to be strong and firm while women are expected to be demure and feminine. And now, men can be sensitive while women can be both beautiful and strong. It is normal in today’s time when both women and men act with their traditional roles and incorporate the role of the opposite sex with their day-to-day lives.
Surprisingly, the acceptance of this alteration of roles has widely affected the culture and how men carry themselves. More men are now being influenced feminine ways that result in more weakened men. There are now the so-called metrosexual men, who are always well-groomed, using products such as facial masks, moisturizers and the like which were once just for women. Metrosexuals are often mistaken to be gays but they are not. They are straight men who are just more inclined in maintaining themselves neat and clean and have the eagerness to show their feminine side. On the other hand, most of the men want to maintain their right to be both strong and sensitive without being too feminine. In the end, men still have their defined heterosexual orientation and at the same time, have this certain feminine side that they may or may not show off.
Nevertheless, nowadays, since there are opportunities for good paying jobs for women, it gives power to women to decide as well for their families. As the role of men are being divergent from the old-fashioned ones, the society and media are now strengthening the concept of masculinity with television shows that shows the hard core side of men. With the help of these entertainment shows and as men patronizes such shows, they can reaffirm their masculinity and somewhat, they still belong to the group of real men. Some of these shows projects real man as part of the army, as being sporty, riding motorcycles and being the right hand or heir of their family’s business.
Consistent with Tragos’ assertion that concepts of masculinity vary through time, Kimmel asserts that there are parameters that are used to gauge masculinity and there parameters change with time. For example, Kimmel explains that homosexuality for some is evident by the way a male person talks, his attitude and behavior, the way he walks and even his small gestures which can be compared to that of a woman. All of the things and movements which is out of the stereotypical for men is considered as a homosexual act. In addition, if a man does not stand up to his words, he is said to be a homosexual. At present, these parameters are usually manifested during courtship. Accordingly, if he courted a girl and then suddenly, he left her, the girl can right away say that he is a homosexual. Also, if a man stands up like that of a girl, like if he puts his arms on his waist while standing, people might already think that he is feminine since it is a normal posture for girls.
Kimmel then explains that the changes in parameters might have originated from the evolution of courting process of the ancient people, cavemen and women. The providers during those times were the caveman and when he can provide food for the cavewoman, there is a possibility that she will allow him to mate with her. On another note, for the modern times, the author says that girls have the tendency to be more close and comfortable with interacting with men who also likes men. Hence, this end up for some men being metrosexual for the reason those women likes men who are well-groomed but are manly. According to the author, women are attracted to men who are masculine and clean; with this, they allow to be dominated. Men like these notion and tend to give time more on improving their bodies as well as their looks.
Conclusion
The two books, Monster masculinity and Masculinity as a Homophobia can be considered as revelations for men. These books elaborate the possibility for men to accept the fact that indeed, they have the rights to show off their other side, the feminine, if it is present. Being able to show the lighter side of one-self does not necessarily mean that a man is weak or a homosexual, but it is the society and past experiences of the mankind which controls the thinking of people. It is never wrong to like the things a woman does or uses if you are a real and straight man. There are times that a man needs those things as well. In addition, being a man is dependent on how you act and how you carry yourself. I think it is more of a dignity and how well you manage to work with the roles of a man, like being protective and being able to defend other people, not only women in times of trouble. Gender is fluid; one can shift from the other and vice versa without compromising his responsibilities to his society. As long as he does not harm other people, I believe it is okay to embrace the out-of-the-normal roles for your respective gender.
