A relation among couples, friends or loved ones can be healthy and happier when there is an open communication, discussion of emotions, mutual understanding, trust and belief on each other. Communication is usually strong in the initial stages of building a relation where both the genders; male and female are concerned about the needs and desires of each other and try to communicate as much as possible to understand each other better. The truth cannot be denied that as we get deeper in a relationship, we tend to neglect the reality that the other person can misunderstand us in some situations. It is natural for human beings to expect that our spouse understand us in majority of the situations.
Miscommunication is sometimes caused by assumption or by not understanding the other person. The author of the article “Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication”, Randy Dotinga provides a harsh fact that couples communicate with each other as if they are communicating with strangers. The article notifies that strangers are in a better position sometimes to understand and comprehend the meaning of the context than compared to the spouses or loved ones. According to Savitsky, “Some couples may indeed be on the same wavelength, but maybe not as much as they think (Healthday News 2011). According to the survey that was conducted on 24 couples, each couple was made to sit facing their backs and were asked to find out the meanings of phrases. The couples thought that they had interconnected in an enhanced manner than they in fact did.
The article informed me that after marriage the couples expected their spouses to understand them better regarding the messages that they conveyed to each other. If the messages are not conveyed properly a possibility of conflict arises and a barrier is created in marriage. As stated by (Sole 2011) researchers found that the pattern that indicates a marriage is failing is that
angry words are exchanged, the anger escalates, and then the withdrawal occurs. If the relationship problems get serious people bring in the positive and negative emotions in the arguments. Positive emotions during conflict discussions can help create a healthy bond between the couples.
One of my colleagues at my workplace who also happens to be my close friend used to share almost all personal and professional matters. We were working on a critical project that had stringent timelines for submission. The project had sub-modules and we both were handling them individually though we had basic knowledge about each other’s modules. He had to leave for his cousin’s wedding and asked me to inform our director that the project will be submitted on the next day at 6. I was not sure if it was 6am or pm, and just by assuming I informed our director as 6am and forgot to inform my friend about my communication with director. When the project did not get delivered at 6am we started getting stinkers from our director and then I realized that I had miscommunicated. It was a good lesson on importance of communication.
Listening is an important feature in communication. I have learnt from my mistakes that improper communication can cost a fortune. Some learning that I would follow to ensure that miscommunication does not repeat in future is to make notes about the important messages, listen attentively and ask questions when I have the slightest of doubt, and communicate for longer periods. If I give any instructions to my spouse or colleague, I would ask that person to repeat to ensure that the message is delivered successfully.
In a marriage our partner takes us for granted and commit mistakes assuming that communication is only between both of us. Respect for others is another crucial requirement for both professional and personal interactions (Sole 2011). It is important to make our words, emotions and feelings very clear to be understood easily by others.
References
Dotinga, Randy (2011). Close Relationships Sometimes Mask Poor Communication, Healthday.
Retrieved from http://health.usnews.com/health-news/family-health/brain-and-
behavior/articles/2011/01/24/close-relationships-sometimes-mask-poor-communication
Sole, Kathy. (2011). Making Connection: Understanding Interpersonal Communication,
Bridgepoint Education, Inc., CA.
