I had always found Math to be a bit of a problem, and I struggled all through my school life just to catch up. Geometry, Algebra, menstruation every part inflicted misery on me the day after day. The problem reached its peak during college when calculus posed yet another challenge in my life and no matter how much I tried; I never understood the notion of differentiation or integration. With a heavy workload and numerous courses during the semester hanging over my head, every night in my dorm room I struggled to grasp onto yet another concept. Day after day, my worries grew, and I panicked more and more and in parity, understood less and less. My teachers were kind enough to lend me a hand now and then, but nothing seemed to be helping. Not understanding one lecture meant not being able to grasp on to the next one and so the dominoes kept falling. I tried one semester but could not get to the desired grade in the subjects. All my efforts were in vain. That failure was the first step I took towards overcoming my problem, and I consider it the greatest part of my training during that dire time.
After the result, I convinced myself to breath and analyze the cause for my problem. I was working hard, and it was not getting me anywhere, so I decided on a different strategy. I decided to work smart. The first step that I took was to cut down on the number of courses I was going to take the approaching semester. That was the time when quality had more important bearing in my life as did quantity. Instead of facing newer and more significant challenges, I resolute that I am going to learn from the one that had been the greatest complication so far. The second thing I did was to cut down on my working hours. The extra stress on the job was not serving me a great deal. That was the semester when I learned to compose my nerves so that my efforts could reap results that are more relevant. After making several flashcards and skimming through every online tutoring website I could find, I started grasping the concept of calculus, and once I understood, conquering the calculus class seemed less daunting of a task.
After satisfying myself that I had built a sound base to elevate my concepts on, I decided to seek help and so hired a tutor. Together, we set to work reading book after book and practicing as much as we could afford. Chapter after chapter I started marking my victories and my heart swell with joy. Every correct answer gave me strength and restored my long-lost confidence in me, and on the day of the result, I finally found my gratification. My calculus grade was up to the mark, and I felt like I had defeated my greatest enemy, my ability to lose everything to panic.
Those few months’ struggle taught me ample. I knew that no goal was impossible to accomplish. I could set them high to my heart’s content, and chase after them until I found my destiny. Moreover, then aim to fly even higher once I reached my goals. The struggle taught me yet another lesson; I had to find a balance, between what I needed and what I wanted. Peace of mind and happiness fell under my needs, but a college degree was what I wanted to make my life better. Therefore, it was unwise to let my desire for a college degree make my life worse instead of better. I look back today and compare the person I was then to the person I am today. I work hard to evolve in my studies, but I also make time to do things that give me joy. My quality of life has largely improved, and I am a much happier person. My experience with calculus also taught me never to surrender to my failures, and to keep moving forwards.
