Social Norms
The non-breaching experiment included being verbal during what were normally verbal orders in public places. The employee would have no knowledge of a disability on my behalf, and I would not use words or sign language of any kind to distinguish myself from those who hear and those who do not. Instead, I would simply enter various places and write my order down on a slip of paper, handing it to the employee without entering into a verbal exchange on my end.
During my first interaction, the employee asked me how they could help me and I had written on a piece of paper, “One large coffee. Two sugars. Splash of milk. Thank you.” I included a smiley face in order to show that I was friendly in my communication. The employee, female, examined the piece of paper for a full minute before inputting the order and verbally asking me for my name. Unprepared for this, I was forced to mime writing on the piece of paper with my hand. She handed me a pen and I wrote down my name. She looked at me as if my behavior was very bizarre. As I waited for my order, I noted customers were also staring at me strangely, and two seemed to be whispering about me and pointing in my direction. It appeared that I had breached what was accepted behavior.
As I entered my second place of business, a book store, I had written a book down on a message on a small slip of paper. The message said, “Hello, can you help me locate Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling? Thank you.” Once more I included a smiley face, and I smiled and added a wave when the employee looked at me oddly, but showed my through the shelves of books anyway. They quickly located the book, handed it to me, and asked me if there was anything else they could help me with. I shook my head, “no.”
Several customers in the bookstore had observed the exchange and looked at me strangely as a pretending to flip through the book, also observing them. I overhead one child asking his mother if I was deaf why I was out of the house alone and if I was safe. Adults were not unkind, but did have a propensity for staring when I scribbled another note onto my notebook paper and approached the cash register. It became such an uncomfortable situation that I did not buy the book and instead left the store.
It was evident by the reactions of those around me, as well as those who helped me that verbal communication is a social norm. I believe that had I used sign language, I also would have been better received than by using notebook paper to communicate. Some looked at me as if I was joking or trying to waste their time. Others looked genuinely puzzled at my actions. Regardless of the looks on their faces, they had no qualms with whispering as I walked by, and sometimes talking rather loudly. I believe this was because they thought my both deaf and mute. This does not make complete sense, however, in terms of social norms. If they truly believed me to be deaf or mute, or both, there was a real need for any means of communication that would allow me to function in the world, sign language or otherwise. While it is not as normal as verbal communication, it was quickly realized verbal communication is normal and anything else is quickly treated as abnormal.
