Old Self Vs. New Self Essay Sample

There have been a few instances throughout my life where I have experienced problems with school. One in particular was when I made a transition from my former self, to the person I am today. The transition was forced upon me by an undesirable chain of events, one that I would not wish on anybody. However, through the circumstances set before me, I was able to see the changes I needed to make and become a different person. Unfortunately, throughout the transition from me old self to my new self I experienced a tumultuous time concerning my education.
Formerly, it was easy to see I was careless. Taking homework seriously was not something that came easily to me; I did not think school was important or anything that would benefit my future. Moreover, I was not striving to be a dependent member of society. In fact, I was completely dependent on my family. Primarily these responsibilities fell on my brother. Looking back, it seemed like he always thought I was capable of more. Despite his belief in me, I continued to cause problems for myself by ignoring schoolwork. For example, there were many instances wherein I skipped class entirely. I was staying up late and sleeping too much during the day. I did not attempt to get a job or attend school many days, still believing it was below me, or that I would not achieve anything of note.
Naturally, these actions created difficult circumstances at home, as well as school. I fell behind quickly. Days I did attend, I did not understand much of the material. In turn, this drove my desire further down. If I could not understand the material, what was I doing there? It seemed like an unwinnable struggle to me at the time, and I continued on my course. My family was furious and worried. They began arguments with me almost on a daily basis regarding my school performance. I was unsure if they thought I could do better, or if they were simply worried I would eventually bring shame to the family name. No matter what they said, my brother would defend me. He would tell them I was smart and could accomplish something in school, reminding them I was struggling for a reason or going through a difficult time. He tried the best that he could to understand me.
Then, one day, my brother died. It was truly one of the most difficult days of my life, and something so traumatizing that it changed what was within me. I began to transition. My old self began to die, as the only member of my family who I had really depended on or who had defended me passed away. My new self began to form out of the ruin that was our broken family, and what felt like my broken life. My brother always believed in me, as well as my education. Part of what I felt like I could do to honor his memory was trying my best in school. It was not an easy thing to do, however, as my life became incredibly difficult after his passing. I felt completely alone for the first time in my entire life. It was the feeling of independence; I realized this, and I did not like it. I had nobody to depend on but myself. The harsh realization that I had taken my brother for granted weighed on me, but it also helped me commit to what I wanted to do, in honor of my brother’s memory.
Prior to my brother’s death, I had heard people speak of commitment to a decision but never done it myself. Afterward, I began to know the meaning of this as I made the decision to commit to my schoolwork. It was one of the biggest struggles of my life, but I did not give up, always reminding myself my brother knew I was capable of doing more with my intelligence and my life. When the idea to skip a class or neglect my homework overcame me, I reminded myself of these feelings and stopped myself from causing problems for my education. Eventually, it was second nature to do my homework and attend school. I was passing and doing well in my courses. Furthermore, I was naturally committed to my education and enjoying what I was learning. Eventually, my hard work paid off and I was granted a scholarship. Finally it made sense, and I was able to see what my brother had seen each time he had stood up for me or said there was more to me than what my family saw, because I had finally done it. I had accomplished what he had always said I would accomplish.
In sum, the transition from my old self to my new self was a good transition for a terrible reason. In addition, my old self caused many problems educationally for me. Had I not adjusted my life and my choices, I would not be where I am today, and would not have the future I have before me. I am thankful all the time that I was able to change into who I am now in order to understand the value of a good education. While I still think I may have been able to undergo these changes given different circumstances, I am still glad I underwent them at all. I know now I had to see how far I could fall concerning education in order to take it seriously and work hard enough to gain a scholarship.