Brief synopsis of the storyline
“Ordinary people” is a simple, but painful emotional story evolving around an upper-middle class family residing in Lake Forest, Illinois. This film tells of the crumbling of this family after the death of the eldest son in a boating accident. It goes in-depth to tell us of Beth, a profound perverse narcissistic mother who tries to find success only in the social custom of appearances and their approval by hiding behind her mother status. Beth, who is the family mother, has installed coldness of heart, ostentation of feelings and lack of empathy as the usual mode of living in her home by acting blind to matters and feelings of her family. The story is mainly based upon Conrad, the youngest son in the family, who has faced great suffering resulting from his mother’s attitude and atmosphere in the family. He responds with depression, guilt, and to the most serious level he attempts suicide. All this happens because Conrad, as a normal teenager does not have the ability to decode this artificial ostentation and come up with the connections. This happens until he is assisted by a dedicated Dr Berger and subsequently finds his way out with his father after his mother parts way with the family.
Define this family (i.e., traditionally--legal and biological? non-traditionally--emotional and social
Connections? Both?)
Jarrett’s family lacks emotional and social connections that a fundamental factor in a well-running family. This can be explained but not limited to the various occurrences and experiences in the family. For instance, there is a lack of communication or what we may call effective communication in this family. Moreover, disagreements over what is the priority to each member of the family keep on cropping up. For example, this is evident in the situation where there was a disagreement between Jarrett and Beth on whether to go on for vacation or stay back home and take care of Conrad’s psychological needs. The family lacks in the social set up, as they never sought natural support from their immediate family members and allies in times when they were faced with crises. Beth is of the option that she must create a delusion of satisfaction to the outside regardless of the fact that this would lead her to neglecting her family’s needs. An interesting circumstance when this can be seen is when she finds out that Conrad had quit the swim team from a friend. She becomes very angry not because her son had quit the swim team, but because she had learnt this from another person rather than her son. The family lacks in effective communication. Conrad who is upset with his mother’s behaviors is not able to communicate in an appropriate manner and as such, finds solace in either lashing out or isolating himself. In the film, varying personal emotions, feelings, and anger which act or react within the family relationships are clearly evident. Each person in the family has patterns and habits which play a big role in the family dynamic.
Family members
The family consists of four members. Conrad, who is the protagonist of the novel, is the youngest son in the family. He has an older brother, Buck, who dies in a boating accident before the film plot begins. Calvin Jarrett, who is referred to as Cal throughout the film, is the father to Conrad and Buck and husband to Beth Garratt. Finally, there is Beth Jarrett, mother to Conrad and Buck and wife to Cal Jarrett.
Genogram: a visual representation of the family: Garrett’s family genogram
The family is an interactive system in which family members influence and are influenced by each other. Family members also serve some sort of purpose for the continued functioning of the family. Also remember that families can function in constructive and destructive ways, and all families do at least a little of both. With this in mind, look at the family members. What roles do they play in the family?
All the family members play a different role in the functioning of the family. To begin with, Cal spent his childhood in an orphanage and as such, developed a deep desire to care and provide for his family. As a matter of fact, this is a major factor that led him to become a lawyer. Though he is materially comfortable, Cal harbors a deep sense of accountability which can be attributed to both of his sons’ adversities. Garrett’s major impediment is the inbuilt sense of helplessness in the face of fate. On the other hand, Beth, who exhibits a tightly controlled reaction to hardship plays a destructive role for the well being of the Garrett’s family. She conceals her feelings, and this has led to the emotional distance between her and the rest of the family members. Conrad also influences the functionality of this family in a huge way. Though it may seem as though he played a destructive role when he attempted suicide, this has proved to be constructive as it eventually builds up the family though after quite some huge loss. However, painful the process of escaping the the guilt is, Conrad is finally liberated and learns to love himself and others. Unlike his brother, Buck does not play a huge role in influencing the functioning of the family. His is natural and had nothing to do with the family. However, his death makes him the most important character in the film since it prompts the emotional hardship through which the family struggles throughout.
Boundaries are physical and metaphorical lines of demarcation that indicate who is in and who is out in a family. Were boundaries an issue for this family & in what ways were they used?
Boundaries are a great issue in the Garrett’s family. In “Ordinary People,” Cal exhibited enmeshment diffused boundaries with his son Conrad. Family boundaries are often evident in the manner in which the members arrange themselves in a given space. In the film, this is dramatically represented in the family photo scene and the dining room scene whereby all seem to be involved in individual practices not caring about the other. However, the boundaries in the Garrett’s family stand unclear because on one hand they were impermeable between Conrad and his mother and, on the other hand, the boundary with his father was diffuse. Moreover, family boundaries are evident as Beth’s mother reinforces the family rule of setting rigid boundaries when she advises Beth to be hard on her husband and also on her son. Finally, in the last scene, Cal tells Conrad that he was not as hard on him as he was with Buck. He says that he did not have the heart for such as Conrad was always hard on himself. On the other hand, Conrad tells his father that he did not tell him what he was going through because he thought that he was already going through a lot. He tells his father to be harder on him like he was with Buck. In this scene, Conrad and his father are re-negotiating and clarifying the boundaries between the parent/child family systems.
Characterization of the power hierarchies in the family. Remember, power can be seen as an element of the structure in the family & is part of the process of "doing" family.
There is an unhealthy power dynamic within the family. Beth, who is the mother in this family, makes most of the decisions such as checking the bills after returning from a trip. Her dire urge for so much power and control within the family leads to a great deal of tensions within the family. As such, Beth has more power in the family and is the decision maker. Cal, who, on the other hand, carries out the decisions, does not have as much as a necessary power to keep the family system integral. The unhealthy balance power operations explain the poor emotional and psychological connections within the family. Beth has issues with power and does not condone any coalitions between his husband and son.
Family beliefs are the shared beliefs that exist in families. What evidence did you see of shared beliefs? Unshared beliefs? Were there any family beliefs that did not seem to take for any of the members? Why do you think this was?
Garrett’s family has exhibited an existence of the shared beliefs. This is evidently seen as the family’s entire belief system which is developing and forming and especially in Conrad is shook up the death of Buck. The parents were not deeply struck by the loss of their first born and as such an effect was not profound and global. This is because their shared belief system was already well formed and was not as vulnerable. However, Beth did not share most of the family’s beliefs as she lacked affection and connection. She was emotionally detached from her family and the public in general being more concerned with other issues and social conventions.
Family rules are guidelines for behavior of family members that are based on family beliefs and can be explicit (spoken of and public) or implicit (not spoken of and hidden). Identify some of these beliefs for the family in the movie & how did you know what the hidden beliefs were?
One of the beliefs that are evident in this film is exhibited by Cal, who believes that talking is a way to heal and as such he wants to talk through the past with his family. However, Beth abhors his choice and wants to move on and leave the past behind. Secondly, Conrad believes that everything in his life is excessive, as all seems to be going against his will.
One way in which families are able to maintain their sense of "family" is through the use of rituals, defined as "composed of metaphors, symbols, and actions that are 'packaged' in use highly condensed dramatic form to establish and maintain family identity." How did the family use rituals?
The film applies a number of rituals. The first one is the use of different colors that represent the characters’ emotional states. Three colors occur most often. Blue represents anxiety and is evident in the color of Dr. Berger’s piercing eyes. Gray symbolizes failure with most of the descriptions of weather describing the gray sky of the early-winter Illinois. Finally, gold symbolizes truth or insight and is evident in ideas or characters that are highly valued as is Cal’s bathroom mirror. Water is also another symbol that is evident in the film in several different forms. It is the basis of the family’s conflict since Buck’s death in a boating accident is the sole cause of Conrad’s suicide attempt and the ensuing fallout. Finally, religious imagery is evident in the film with Christian slogans and imagery cropping up in a few scenes. Though they are relatively rare; they serve as a sense of right and wrong and as a symbol of guidance against which Conrad and Cal discover their own form of guidance.
Prior generations tend to transmit their approach to life (including attitudes and values) to the next generation. Sometimes this is good, sometimes not. What evidence did you see of this in the family you viewed? Did you see anyone acting as a transitional character (i.e., a person who changes the course of the family in a positive way)?
Beth was of the idea that she is always right in everything and as such transmitting a negative approach to life to her sons. She has always had a difficult time showing affection to others expect when she has the intention, and that is trying to get other people do things that she wants. She wants to pass this trait to her children that should not be the case. On the other hand, Calvin acts as a transitional character and has always been passive and wants to pass on positive attributes to his sons. His chief idea seems to make those around him and those who will come thereafter happy. As such, he has avoided conflict with his wife for a while and at times has even acted as a cheerleader than a parent to his son Conrad. Cal is frustrated by not being able to please those around him or to keep the peace in his family. He constantly has to choose to make one person happy at the expense of the other.
Describe the emotional climate of this family. Are there indications of emotional legacies of past relationships that affect the relationships you see on screen?
The emotional climate in Garratt’s family is cold and wanting. All the family members are emotionally stressed up. Cal is emotionally repressed as he is deeply moving in the difficult role of a father unable to comprehend as to why his family is breaking apart. Likewise, Beth is equally emotionally repressed as she was struggling to come to terms with her son’s loss. However, she is afraid of genuine emotion yet exudes an arrogant complacency and as such is emotionally distant from the other family members as well as the public in general. Just like his parents, Conrad is also emotionally disturbed. He is also struggling to come in terms with his brother’s death and more so to put up with his dictator mother. The film is truly extraordinary in terms of its emotional resonance and one would need to be made of hard wood not to be deeply moved by the manner these people tell the story. It provides a cautionary example of the problems of emotional non-expressiveness. This is evident and clear as we see a bunch of negative consequences of Beth’s unwillingness to acknowledge any unpleasant feelings. Though there are no direct indications of emotional legacies of past relationships affecting this family, one may tend to think that Beth and Garrett’s relationship had not been working in the past, and all they were doing is forcing life to move ahead.
What evidence do you see of supportive communication in this family? Of defensive communication? How might they improve their communication skills?
Supportive communication is definitely evident in the family between Conrad and his father. Though in the beginning this was not evident, Cal and his son are seen to hold a son to father talk supporting each other and talking on the way forward. On the other hand, defensive communication is also evident. This seen through Beth, who insists that she makes the rules and believes that whatever she says is right. As such, she finds herself in a compromising relationship with her family members as in the end no one is listening to her, and they have turned cold on her. She need to gain cognition about the manner in which she is defensively communicating with her son and family members. Through her defensive communication, Beth creates inflexibility boundaries blocking an easy way to communication among the family members. In order to improve their communication skills, the family needs to restructure their patterns of communications. Beth for instance needs helps gaining cognition about the ways she is failing to communicate with her son.
What are the methods of resolving conflict that you see?
The method of resolving conflicts that play a big role in this film is separation. This is evident as the film comes to an end when Beth eventually separates herself from the rest of the family. This will go a long way in assisting the family to resolve the existing problems of which would turn out difficult in the presence of Beth. This is also seen when Conrad attempts suicide. He was doing so in order to separate himself from the rest of the family and resolve his inbuilt conflicts.
How does family member deal with loss and/or stress?
There are several ways in which members of the Garrett family deal with loss or stress. For instance, Cal believed that visiting a psychiatrist was one method of dealing with stressful occurrences. He advises his son to start attending Dr. Berger’s counseling sessions in order to overcome his grief. Conrad, on the other hand, thought that committing suicide was also a way out in dealing with the loss of his brother. However, this proved not to be a solution as he sought elsewhere and finally recovered.
