Arguably, each family in the world today has their own ways and strategies of upbringing their children. These strategies are called parenting styles, where parents psychologically plan and construct on how to carry out their parenting task. Therefore, parenting influences the cognitive, behavioral, and psychological development of children. The first socialization process in child development takes place in the family, parents being the leaders in imparting their children with behavioral and developmental procedures. Therefore, parents influence the development of children, using three main parenting styles, which were generated by Diana Baumrind. These parenting styles are authoritarian, permissive, as well as authoritative. The three parenting styles have different characteristics, and affects children development differently. Furthermore, each one has diverse advantages and disadvantages, depending on its consequences on children. It influences varies with ethnicity, gender, culture, family, and has its exceptionalities (Baumrind, 1989).
As per the permissive parenting style, the parent mostly attempt to behave in an acceptant, affirmative, and non-punitive manner towards the children desires, actions, and impulses (Gleitman, Alan, & Reisberg, 2000). In fact, the parent consults with the child on policy decisions, as well as giving explanations for the existing family rules. In most situations, the parent does not discipline the child because of low expectations of self-control and maturity. According to Diana Baumrind (1989), permissive parents are less demanding than responsive. Parents in this scenario take children to be friends; hence, they are generally communicative and nurturing. The parent uses more of manipulation and reason, rather than overt power to achieve her intentions (Coon, 2005).
Perhaps, some of the characteristics of permissive parenting style are too soft. They include lack of parental guidelines and rules, children have all the freedom to do anything they are pleased with, parents are too friendly, as well as lack conception by children. The consequences of this style are mostly negative; it confuses and spoils the child in all aspects of his/her growth (Baumrind, 1989). The children will not respect their parents, the rights of others and their responsibilities. In school, children who have undergone such parenting style perform poorly, develop selfish interests, and finally be unhappy in life. Children raised in a permissive style are immature, more independent, lacked responsibility, confused, hesitant, and disorderly (Coon, 2005) Furthermore, as children grow under permissive parenting they develop poor way of regulating emotions, becomes defiant and rebellious when their desires are challenged, antisocial behaviors, as well as low resistance to difficult and challenging tasks. (Gleitman, Alan, & Reisberg, 2000)
Advantages of permissive parenting
Children have minimal psychological problems.
Kids raised by permissive parents are happy.
Child becomes aggressive and assertive
Disadvantages of permissive parenting
Children grow to be underachievers
Children cannot survive in hard ships and challenging situation
Another style of parenting as per Diana Baumrind, is authoritarian parenting. Under this style, children are always expected to adhere to the strict rules formed by the parents. Failure to follow the set of rules leads to punishments. In this way, parents try to control, evaluate, and shape the attitudes and behavior of the children in accordance to the established rules and code of conduct (Coon, 2005). The big problem with this parenting style, is that the parents fail to elaborate on the reasoning and intentions behind the rules. The rules are set to be followed by children without any question. It is the hardest of the three parenting styles. Parents always expect their children to obey, fear, and honor them under all circumstances.
Certainly, the characteristics of this parenting style is that parents are status-obedient oriented, poor parent-child conversation, lack of discussion of burning issues, stress too much obedience to authority. Just like the permissive parenting style, authoritarian style have negative effects to children, this is because of extreme strictness of parents. The effects include withdrawn, unhappy, and anxious disposition of children, and poor reaction towards frustration, for example, girls give up so easily in the family, while boys become too hostile (Coon, 2005).
Furthermore, the outcome of authoritarian parenting is developing children who meek, subservient and sneaky to authorities. In fact, children become bossy and bully the weaker and younger fellows in either school or at home. Boys demand power from others just like their parents, while girls might withdraw in all aspects of life. This is a clear indication that parenting styles affects gender differently (Gleitman, Alan, & Reisberg, 2000). Despite the negative consequences, authoritarian parenting yield gives good outcome. For example, good performance in school, as well as minimal engagement on antisocial activities such as vandalism, gangs, and alcohol and drug abuse. In general, id develops proficient and obedient children, but it is the lowest in developing self-esteem, social competence and happiness.
Advantages of authoritarian parenting
Children live in an environment whose expectations is discipline and hard work
The child grows to be obedient and responsible citizen.
Parents show total love for their children.
Disadvantages of authoritarian parenting
Children are not given a chance to think freely.
A child makes decisions based on parents’ demands.
Lead to negative development of personal traits.
Develops stern inferiority complex, and poor socialization traits.
When they become adults, there is a possibility that they will rebel against their parents due to high intelligence.
The third parenting style is authoritative, this style is just right. The parent takes the responsibility of directing the child in different activities, but in an issue-oriented, and rational manner. Probably, parents set the intended limits and rely on natural impacts for children to change and learn from their mistakes (Shaffer, & Kipp, 2009). As compared to authoritarian and permissive parenting, parents in authoritative style explain to their children the importance of guidelines and rules, as well as why the rules should always be followed. Parents reason on the same level with their children even if they do not agree with their opinions. In most cases, parents remain firm in what they know is good for their children, with love, kindness, and warmth. The standards set by parents are very high, but they encourage their children to independently achieve them (Baumrind, 1989).
Parent-child oriented characterizes the authoritative parenting. The most conformed values are discipline and self-will. The parent enforces different own perspectives as an adult, but puts into interest child’s special ways and wellbeing (Shaffer, & Kipp, 2009). In case the children sway away from the rules they are nurtured through forgiveness rather that punishment. Generally, the disciplinary measures of authoritative parents are supportive. The main goal of disciplinary measures is to .mold the children to be assertive, self-regulated, cooperative, and socially responsible (Gleitman, Alan, & Reisberg, 2000).
Consequently, the style reduces the rigidity on gender related traits. For example, boys become less sensitive on gender related issues, while girls become flexibly independent. Children become happy and lively in the family. Additionally, the child brought up by authoritative parents become self-confident, especially in mastering tasks (Shaffer, & Kipp, 2009). Perhaps, the child develops great social skills, as well as mature emotional regulation. Generally, authoritative parenting leads to capable, successful, and happy children in society.
Advantages of authoritative parenting
It is flexible and the best of the tee parenting styles
Minimal conflict in the family due to mutual respect and love.
Develops healthy relationship between children and parents.
Authoritative parents respects and understands the needs of the child.
Authoritative parents know where to make boundaries, and show total affection.
Disadvantages of authoritative parenting
Children can be rebellious and completely sway away from the goals of parents.
Parents can easily bend or change the rules to suit them, which my contradict with the goals of the child.
Undoubtedly, the three styles of parenting by Diana Baumrind, are influenced by ethnicity, family type, culture and gender. Authoritative parenting is common among middle class families. Despite the variation of family status, most parenting styles have similar outcomes across ethnic groups. Most of the approaches used in parenting demand less from girls as compared to boys. Of all the three parenting styles, authoritative parenting foresees fantastic psychological outcomes for all adolescent children across all ethnic groups (Gleitman, Alan, & Reisberg, 2000) The variation of the outcomes of the three parenting styles in ethnic groups is caused by diversity of cultures and socialization environment. As per the ethnicity, authoritative is common among Asian American, Hispanic American, and White America families. On the other hand, authoritarian parenting is common among the ethnic minority families as compared to white families. Parents can create a positive family relationship by implementing most authoritative techniques, and employ constant rapport with their children (Coon, 2005).
Conclusively, parenting styles differ because of different reasons, namely, personality, culture, religion, educational level, family size, socioeconomic status, as well as parental background. Parents differ on the way they bring up their children, that is why children grow and develop differently. Of the three parenting behaviors, authoritative parenting is the best, because its outcomes are excellent, regardless of ethnicity, culture, gender, family status, and socio-economic status. It is the responsibility of parents to choose which parenting style best suites their children.
References
Baumrind, D. (1989). Rearing Competent Children: Child Development Today and Tomorrow:
San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.
Coon, D. (2005). Psychology: A Modular Approach to Mind and Behavior. London: Wadsworth.
Gleitman, H, Alan, J, & Reisberg, D. (2000). Basic Psychology. New York: Norton Press.
Shaffer, D. & Kipp, K. (2009). Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence.
California: Wadsworth.
