Introduction
Parenting is probably one of the most interesting, yet challenging experiences for most parents. While most parents are excited when welcoming their newborns in the world, they are also worried about the growth and development of their children. Their biggest challenge and worry is the upbringing of the children to ensure they become the best in the world. On that light, different parents utilize varying methods of parenting. The most common types of parenting the parents apply are authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. Authoritarian parenting is one where parents expect their children to follow the rules they set without fail, but have a room to listen to the children, respond accordingly to their queries, and guide them accordingly. In this kind of parenting, children and parents interact where the later guide the former to be independent with respect for other humans, elders, teachers, and the rule of law. Authoritative parenting is one where parents expect their children to follow the rules they set without fail. In this kind of parenting, there is little response and communication from the child. The children are punished severely for breaking any of the rules set. Permissive parenting is one where parents have few rules for their children. In most cases, they are too caring and nurturing to the children. Lastly, uninvolved parenting is one where parents do not only have little or no demands, but are also detached from the children. The four types of parenting have varying effects on the growth and development of the children. In some, the children grow to be respectable beings, while in others; the children have little regard for others and the rule of law.
The parenting styles parents choose dictate the kind of behavior the children will have and the kind of people they will become once they are grown, therefore, it is important for them to choose the best style that can guarantee respectable beings, who do not only care for others, but also have regard and respect for the law.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parenting is a style where parent have strict rules and standards, yet they advocate free and open communication with their children. In this parenting style, parents set the rules and regulation for the children to follow in their home, and explain why it is important for them to follow the rules, and the consequences that follow when the children fail to follow them. The children are free to ask the parents any questions, where the parents respond accordingly with solid explanations. In that regard, this parenting style is one where there is a mix of strict rules, open communication, response from the children and the parents. According to Damon, Lerner, Renninger, and Sigel (2007), authoritative parenting is demanding, controlling, rational, warm, and receptive to the children. Stahl (2007) asserts that authoritative parenting is structured with routine discipline and guidance while considering the feelings of the children. According to Stahl (2007), authoritative parenting plays an important role in helping children cope with divorce and other challenging life events.
Characteristics
One of the characteristics of authoritative parenting is open communication between the parents and the children. Parents encourage their children to express their feelings through communication. Once the children air out their feelings and concerns, the parents listen and inform the children on the best way to address the feelings or problems (Damon, Lerner, Renninger, & Sigel, 2007). Additionally, if the children have problems and are scared, the parents help them to overcome such issues. Open communication and guidance where necessary makes the children stronger and self reliant, whereby, they can survive on their own in any environment with little supervision. The parents set specific standards, which the children must follow. The distinguishing factor between authoritative and other parenting styles is that parents inform the children the importance of these standards and the consequences that follow if they are not followed.
Effects on children
Authoritative parenting has many positive effects on children. According to Kusterer (2010) and Rivers Jr (2008), authoritative parenting was linked to good academic performance in children and adolescents. In research studies these authors carried, they determined that children and adolescents brought up through authoritative parenting performed much better compared to those brought up through other parenting styles. Although other factors such as parent involvement in school issues played an important role in determining the academic performance of children and adolescents, those under authoritative parenting performed better generally (Steinberg, Elmen, & Mounts, 1989).
Sustainability
Authoritative parenting is probably the most sustainable of all the styles available. Children brought up in this parenting style are self-reliant, express their feelings, work well under little or no supervision, make rational decisions, listen to others, and perform well in academics and other extracurricular activities (Rivers Jr, 2008). It would be of great importance if parents across the world used this parenting style, as there would be better societies. According to Breinbauer and Herrera (2005), authoritative parenting is critical in ensuring good behavior among children and adolescents, which makes them better citizens.
Authoritative Parenting
This is a style of parenting where parents there is a lot of psychological control, respect of authority, and maintaining utmost order (Benson and Haith, 2010). Although this parenting style ensures that children conform to the set rules and regulations, there is little nurturing, lack of communication, and lack of explanation in cases of punishment (Benson & Haith, 2010). In the assertions of Benson and Haith (2010), parents take control in shaping their children; they believe they know what is best for the children. In that regard, authoritarian parents rarely listen to their children’s expressions, limiting responsiveness and communication between the two.
Characteristics
Authoritarian parenting is usually one sided, where parents state and the children accept, whether they conform to what they are told or not. In this style, the children do not have a chance to express their views. In most cases, the children are even too scared to ask their parents any questions because there is no listening from the parents. Additionally, authoritarian parents respond harshly to the children’s queries, asking them they were told them (Benson and Haith, 2010). Whenever the children break the rules set by the parents, very harsh punishment follows; one that makes the children scared. Although the parents think they are correcting and helping their children conform to the rules and regulations of the family and the society, they are actually not helping them in any way (Benson & Haith, 2010).
Effects on children
Authoritarian parenting does more harm than good to the children according to Benson and Haith, (2010). According to Johnson (2006), authoritative parenting is likely to make children, as young as two years obese. In a research conducted in close to a thousand families, Johnson (2006), found out that authoritarian parents are five times likely to raise chubby and obese children. Additionally, children raised by authoritative parents were likely to be depressed, which led to poor academic and extracurricular activities performance (Johnson, 2006). The effects of authoritarian parenting, which are in most cases bad, vary among the different cultural groups and settings (Selin, 2013). Authoritarian parenting among Caucasian American children led to poor academic performance, whereas, the same parenting style, led to good academic performance among Asian Americans. However, according to Selin (2013), there are differences in the approach. American parents were extremely harsh compared to the Asian Americans, which dictates the difference in academic performance between the two (Selin, 2013).
Sustainability
Authoritarian parenting is not sustainable in most societies. It is marred by poor academic performance, low self-esteem, and depression among the children brought up through it (Selin, 2013). Additionally, some children may become obese, which puts them in adverse health conditions when they are still young. However, authoritarian parenting may also work in some cases. In Asia, parents are authoritarian, yet their children perform well in schools. In that regard, it is evident that authoritarian parenting may work when approached differently, especially inclusion of concern and nurturing attributes by the parents. The change in approach is the reason why Asian American children perform better academically and become better people later in life, unlike American Caucasian children under the same parenting style, who perform poorly.
Permissive Parenting
According to Bornstein, Vandell, and Rook (2010), permissive parenting is one where there is a lot of affection and warmth, little discipline, and little demands by the parents to their children. In this parenting style, parents do not punish the children whenever they are wrong, which encourages them to engage in bad behavior; after all, there are no consequences. According to Akhter, Hanif, Tariq, and Atta (2011), permissive parenting is a recipe for disaster because children and adolescents brought up this way are likely to engage in substance abuse and deviant behavior. In fact, most of the adolescents and youths engaging in substance abuse and deviate behavior in most societies are brought up through permissive parenting.
Characteristics
The major characteristic of permissive parenting is much love, affection, and warmth towards the children (Bornstein, Vandell, & Rook, 2010). Additionally, the parents demand little from their children, whereby, the children are never assigned roles in the house. In this parenting style, the parents provide their children with whatever they ask regardless of whether they need it or not. The lack of demands from parents and their affection towards the children usually leads to indiscipline among the children. According to Fort Collins Coloradan (2014), permissive parenting is most common among parents who grew up in poverty. These parents like to provide for the children and let them be, unlike them when they were growing up. Although it is good to compensate for the past failures, parents should learn to balance between providing and letting their children be, and discipline and democracy in the home (Fort Collins Coloradan, 2014).
Effects on children
Permissive parenting, which seems good for some parents, is actually bad for the children and adolescents. This style of parenting is associated with deviant behavior and substance abuse among adolescents brought up this way. Such children are likely to perform poorly in their academics and other activities because of their divided attention. In addition, substance abuse specifically, leads to adverse health effects to the adolescents (Akhter, Hanif, Tariq, & Atta, 2011). Additionally, adolescents engaging in substance abuse are likely to get on the wrong side of law, which may lead to prosecution. Such an action may affect the adolescents because some of their growth and development stages will be stolen by the harsh punishments from prosecution and the negative health effects. Permissive parenting, therefore, does more harm than good to the children and adolescents.
Sustainability
Uninvolved Parenting
Uninvolved parenting is a style where parents seem to neglect their children, either because they have too much to handle or have rejected their children (Shaffer, 2008; Kail & Cavanaugh, 2012; Sigelman & Rider, 2014). The parenting style is characterized by lack of warmth, harshness, and general disregard about the children welfare. According to Shaffer and Kipp (2009), uninvolved parents only provide the basic amenities (shelter, clothing, and food), nothing more. Such parents do not have any time for their children. In that regard, they do not assist their children in any way. Children with uninvolved parents are likely to experience emotional deficit because they do not talk and share with their parents. Shaffer and Kipp (2009) assert that uninvolved parenting is probably the most unsuccessful parenting style among the four. Children brought up through this style are likely to engage in deviant behavior like drug abuse, alcoholism, burglary, and other unacceptable behaviors, yet their parents do not get concerned. Such children end up in prisons and are also likely to be killed prematurely by the law enforcement agencies.
Characteristics
The most common characteristic of the uninvolved parenting is laxity and unconcern by the parents. They do not care what their children do or where they are. Such parents do not care when their children do not come home for a night, several days, or even weeks (Shaffer, 2008). In some cases, children to such parents may be in danger, yet they only know much later, when it is already too late. Additionally, there is no communication between the parents and the children. When the children try to initiate talks with the parents, the response from the later is usually very harsh, thereby discouraging the former to query the later in the future. The cause for neglect is probably stress and depression from work and other life events. Parents whose work schedule is busy and stressing are likely to neglect their children because they are always concerned about their work. On the other hand, some parents reject some or all their children from birth, which becomes a “don’t care attitude” with time (Kail & Cavanaugh, 2012).
Effects on children
Uninvolved parenting has serious negative consequences on the children. In most cases, children brought up through uninvolved parenting engage in dangerous and unacceptable behaviors, including substance abuse, alcoholism, theft, murder, gang violence, and other dangerous acts. They are likely to hurt, injure, or kill people, whereby, they end up in prisons. Additionally, they are likely to have adverse health conditions. A study by Olvera and Power (2009) on Mexican-American children indicates that there is a direct correlation between child neglect and overweight and obesity. Neglected children are likely to be overweight. The study found that all the children neglected were overweight compared to children whose parents were readily available. In another study, Greening, Stoppelbein, and Luebbe (2009) found out that neglected children are likely to have suicidal thoughts when they are extremely young. According to Greening, Stoppelbein, and Luebbe (2009), both Caucasian and African American children who were neglected were likely to have suicidal thoughts; there is more likelihood among African American children as compared to Caucasian children.
Sustainability
Uninvolved parenting is not sustainable in anyway. In fact, it is the worst of the four parenting styles. Children brought up through this style are not only likely to engage in deviant behaviors, but they are also likely to have adverse health effects. It is even worse that the parents are never concerned about the affairs of their children. Through this literature, it is evident that the children with neglecting parents are likely to die prematurely because of stress, adverse health conditions and diseases, and premature deaths through killing by the law enforcement agencies.
Conclusion
In conclusion, parenting is the most important thing children can get from their parents. It is the foundation of life as it helps the children to face life positively even with many challenges. There are four major parenting styles, authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved. The four use different approaches to guide children. While authoritative parenting allow children to be self reliant and independent, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved parenting styles put the children in a cocoon that is challenging to break. Children brought up through authoritative parenting do not only know how to express themselves, but also perform better in education and other extracurricular activities, making them better citizens. On the other hand, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritarian parenting styles make children worse because they perform poorly academically and are likely to be involved in deviant behaviors like substance abuse, assault, and homicide and murder.
However, authoritarian parenting may work well, especially when approached differently by introducing caring and nurturing attitudes to the children. Authoritarian parenting works perfectly well in Asian countries, where children perform well academically. Permissive and uninvolved parenting styles are probably the worst because children do not only perform poorly, but are also likely to get lifestyle conditions like obesity. Additionally, the children brought up through the two parenting styles are likely to die early because of the effects of the lifestyle conditions, or killed by law enforcement agencies. Parents should be aware of the four parenting styles and apply the only best (authoritative), which ensures that the children are self reliant and independent, perform well academically, relate with others well, and become better citizens. Appreciating that parenting is the foundation for any child and putting the necessary resources in place is the only way parents will guide their children successfully; to become role models in the society.
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