Essay Review – Greed Viewed as Good
- The introductory paragraph of the essay comes across as sharp and factual that may be off-putting to some readers. The focus is also not on the topic itself but on supporting examples. The tone could have been less impersonal.
- The thesis statement is clearly stated in the introduction though it appears in the middle of the paragraph.
- There is no mention of the target audience by the end of the introduction. I believe that students and philosophers will take an active interest in the topic. Moreover, the topic can hold the attention of sociologists.
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- The expository purpose of the writer is evident by the end of the introduction. The thesis statement helps the reader immediately understand the topic of the essay.
- The introduction of the essay not only effectively introduces but summarizes Affluenza and its author.
- Every paragraph of the essay has a proper topic sentence but the fifth and sixth paragraphs of the essay do not include a distinct topic sentence. The concept of greed is mentioned but it is not related to the “good”.
- The topic sentence in every paragraph, except the fifth and sixth, manages to convey an overview of the points that are covered in the paragraph.
- The paragraphs that have a topic sentence distinctly support and develop the thesis statement and they contain references back to the thesis in the topic sentence.
- The topic sentences in the essay are good indicators of whether Cause/Effect/Solution is going to be the mainstay of the paragraph.
- The essay has two distinct excerpts from Affluenza to support the topic sentence, one in the introductory paragraph and the other in the fourth, which are quite effective in explaining the gist of the topic to the reader.
- The essay contains a few direct quotes which actually enhance the quality of the essay so there is no need to limit the use of quotes. The writer can, however, remove the example of the cowboys in the sixth paragraph.
- Every single evidence cited from Affluenza starts with a signal phrase and concludes with an in-text citation. The punctuation and format for the in-text documentation is correct and do not show any problems.
- The writer has not synthesized any examples from his/her own knowledge in the essay but has included several examples from Affluenza that help emphasize the topic of the essay.
- The organization of the paragraphs has been done efficiently by the writer. Each paragraph corresponds to a different aspect of the topic but they connect to each other smoothly. The topic sentence of every paragraph logically follows the topic sentence from the last paragraph.
- As stated earlier, every paragraph corresponds to a separate aspect of the essay topic and so the transitions in the topic sentences suggest the organization of the paragraphs of the essay body.
- The writer makes a point at the start of each paragraph and then explains it via an example that supports the topic sentence. A brief closing statement follows each paragraph. The structure is effective but some variations might have been better to break the monotony of the essay.
- In most of the paragraphs of the essay, transitions are present between the supporting evidence and the examples. But the transition in the sixth paragraph could have been smoother as it appears to be rushed.
- The writer provides a strong conclusion to the essay that perfectly highlights the overall theme of the thesis. The writer does restate the topic but he individualizes the approach to such an extent that it appears to be a fresh take on the topic.
- The summary at the conclusion of the essay does a fine job of condensing the main supporting essay topics for the benefit of the reader. There is no hint of repetition and the tone of the conclusion appears passionate and bold, adding to the effectiveness of the summary.
- The conclusion of the essay, instead of repeating the topic, provides a fresh impression of the importance of the subject which leaves the reader with the sensation of a great reading experience.
- The strongest point in the essay, I suppose, is the ability of the writer to convey mundane and possibly boring points in an interesting tone that uplifts the quality of the entire essay and gives the reader the necessary interest to keep reading. Relevant examples are present throughout the essay that holds the attention of the reader.
- The writer should try to change the opening sentence of the introduction to something with more pizzazz; it feels lacking and detached and might be off-putting for the reader. Economy of words is another point that must not skip the writer’s mind. He should go through his own experiences and include some of the relevant ones in the essay for that much-need personalized touch.
