Peer Review: Free Sample Essay To Follow

The student who wrote the essay “Violent Video Games Create More Violence” developed a well – argued manifest to disallow teenagers playing video games. The writing is persuasive because the writer followed the guidelines of sound argumentation, referring to nationwide events that ended in shooting for credibility (ethos) purpose, presenting the facts in a logical manner, hence integrating the logos, and finally, appealing to the readers in an emotional manner (pathos). This essay’s thesis is “Violent video games are desensitizing players from violence and reward them for it, while also teaching them that it is an acceptable way to resolve conflict.” This thesis is debatable, as a counterargument of his claim could be that violent video games can help dissolve the aggressiveness in the real life or that the perpetrators’ violent actions are not connected with the violent video games that they play, but with other personal characteristics. The controversial nature of this topic makes this writer’s argument an argument of fact.
In terms of ethos, the author appeals to reasonable claims, such as teenagers imitating the behavior of violent video games characters. The rebuttal is not strong enough, because it refers to the video games played by military men for fostering strategic skills, which is not applicable to distressed teenagers or other perpetrators, hence its conceding is difficult to establish. The writer should dedicate some time to improve the rebuttal.
The writer of the essay titled “Argument of Fact” takes a similar route with the first writer, addressing the same topic, in a resembling manner. His essay is persuading, because he also punctuates the ethos (with credible references and common values), logos (with reliable data) and pathos (with the call for action for changing video game playing for more sane activities). The thesis is “Due to the exposer of aggressive video games to adolescent children, violence with no consequences is manifested in ones mind, creating criminal behavior.” The thesis is debatable, as the writer himself observes and develops the rebuttal, based on the idea that violent video games release players from aggressiveness in the real life, and therefore, it is an argument of fact.
The most effective evidence is that allowing children to play violent video games teaches them that it is acceptable to act violently, as demonstrated across several cases that the author presents. This evidence is effective because it connects similar cases of children or teenagers playing violent video games with the same outcome: shooting and killing people. The least effective evidence is the connection between the advancements in the gaming technology and the youth criminal behavior. This is an ineffective evidence, because it cannot be demonstrated that solely video games contribute to the increased rates of criminal behavior, as other types of media, such as news or movies also exploit violence and instigate children to criminal behavior.
Regarding the ethos, the author identified reasonable claims such as linking violent behavior to mass shooting or isolation and the development of a violent behavior. The author is successful in conceding the rebuttal, explaining that the counterargument according to which violent video games release aggressiveness is unsupported by scientific and psychological evidence. The essay is sound, but I would suggest more balanced between ethos, logos and pathos, because the pathos was dominating the arguments.
The writer of the third essay, “One of America’s Biggest Problems is Moral Collapse of the Country” did not convince me entirely. Although the structure of the argument was correct, the strength of the arguments was beyond the expectations, as the writer used traditional and conservative values to support his claims. The thesis of the essay is “What has was once been shameful or considered unacceptable has become socially accepted and now the new normal for many people in the country.” The thesis is significant, but is debatable, as the society has evolved and one should not expect to function on the same moral principles as it did in the past. Nevertheless it is an argument of fact because it raises a debatable issue.
The most effective evidence is the statistics that show teenagers getting involved in sexual activities that result in sexual transmitted diseases, and in drug consumption. This is powerful evidence because it shows that the severe consequences of inappropriate morals and behavior. The least effective evidence is the rate of divorce. Having the highest divorce rate does not make America immoral, nor should couples stay together if they have misunderstandings.