Review of the first draft
The topic of the paper is clear and succinct. However, the title page does not meet all the APA guidelines. There is no running head, and the work is not paginated. Your thesis does not seem to anchor well with the topic of the paper. You stated that you would make children know that someone cares about their education, yet this is just a part of the bigger picture. Philosophy of education does not target one stakeholder. Therefore, it is imperative that the thesis has no logical connection to rest of the work. I suggest that you focus on the perception of teaching, learning, goals and objectives, and execution methods including the role of all the stakeholders. Notwithstanding the comments above, the flow of the work is commendable. There are topic sentences in all paragraphs and supporting ideas. You have used some authorities to support your paper, but few concepts need referencing. For example, paragraphs one and two do not have any reference. There is no any conclusion, and the reference page is not according to APA guidelines. You need to correct the work to meet the college level of writing.
Review of Lawrence’s work
The title page satisfies the requirements of the APA format except that the running head(s) need to be in upper case. The title is precise and well placed on the title page. Unfortunately, I do not see the thesis of the work in the introduction. You have written many ideas on coaching without explicitly stating the focus of the paper. The content organization is excellent with clear topic sentences and supporting ideas from scholarly articles. However, the incitation is not consistent with the APA formatting style besides there being many ideas that you have not referenced. The flow of ideas is not smooth, particularly when you used authorities. There is no conclusion of the work. The work does not meet all requirements for college writing. The reference page does not meet the APA requirement at all.
