Abstract
This paper commences with a critical review and analysis of the concept of polyamorous relationships. It reviews how polyamorous relationships occur in society and how they are labelled. Fundamentally it involves a consensual relationship between more than two people. It involves the exchange of love, companionship and passion beyond just sex and it involves an understanding and consensus by the parties.
Empirical research shows that polyamorous relationships are encouraged because it promotes more satisfaction and fulfillments to the parties. Since they are satisfied, they are also willing to give off their best to their other parties in order to create a better world. The parties often build trust, loyalty and this is done by defining clear boundaries which reduces feelings of jealousy and possessiveness.
The nature of polyamorous relationship indicates that the parties must reject restrictive cultural standards. Although the practice is frowned upon in most societies, they are legitimate. Comparatively, a study shows that polyamorous relationships are seen as more responsible than swinging. However, they are considered amoral when compared to monogamous relationships. In terms of morality, they are seen as being more moral than cheating and extramarital affairs.
A longitudinal research showed that trust is the most important thing that must be built in polyamorous relationships. This is a legitimate practice in society and must be practiced responsibly in order to promote the acceptance of polyamorous relationship practitioners.
Introduction
This paper is a critical article review. It involves the examination and evaluation of the concept of polyamory and how it occurs in society. To this end, the paper will undertake a basic and introductory reading on the subject and what it implies. This will lead to a critical analysis and review of several peer reviewed articles which provide an insight into the concept and some relevant factors which define the way it operates and affects human relationships. This will end with a conclusion that covers the components of the empirical study and analysis.
Background Reading on Polyamorous Relationships
Polyamory is a Greek and Latin word which means “many loves”. Etymologically, “poly” means many whilst “amory” is related to “amore” or “amor” which is the Latin and Greek word for “love”. Thus, put together, polyamory means many lovers within a relationship context. Polyamory relates to a person who is willing to have more than one romantic relationship at a time and this is acknowledged and consented upon my all the partners. Thus, there is a romantic relationship between one person and this is agreed upon and accepted by all the parties involved in the relationship.
Polyamory goes beyond just a few romantic encounters between different people. Thus, polyamory is different from swinging which is somewhat a recreational encounter between one person and two or more people at a time. Polyamory implies that there is a long-term relationship with romantic bonds and partners who have time to fall in love and carry out activities.
One significant aspect of polyamory is the fact that the partners are fully aware and they give authorization to the other party to have relationships with others. Therefore, if a married man is having an affair on his wife and his wife is suspicious, that relationship is not polyamorous. It is a monoamorous relationship in which one party is trying to cheat. However, in a polyamorous relationship, the parties do not have any issues with the others seeing other partners. It is a liberal relationship where they love each other and have no objections to the parties having other relationships with other parties. Thus, consent is something that is implied or authorized expressly by the parties. There is informed consent and this is a basic aspect of the relationship.
There are no specific rules and limits. Hence, there cannot be any issue of breaking the rules as it might appear in monoamorous relationships. Each party is free to have relationships outside the relationship. Therefore, there is a multi-amorous setting where all parties are free to have affairs as they wish.
Thus, there is a committed couple who have other relationships and commitments with other people on the side. This is permitted and there are no limitations and issues with any of the parties seeing other people and having other affairs. This is often shown on the social media pages as “open relationships”.
Article 1: Love and sex: polyamorous relationships are perceived more favourably than swinging and open relationships
This peer reviewed article examines the concept of polyamorous relationships and how the participants are viewed by the wider society. Hence, the article examines three main things. First of all, how people view the idea of having more than one lover. Secondly, there is a question of how the parties who have sex without love (swinging) fare and are viewed by the society. And thirdly, how people have sex without the partner’s love and affection appears in relation to polyamorous relationships.
The study employs a methodology whereby the respondents are asked questions about what they think and feel about swinging, polyamorous and other relationships that involve sex without love. The study is critiqued through a meta-analysis which culminates in findings based on dominant codes identified in the interviews.
The research is meant to be a comparative analysis and review of different contexts and different systems within which parties carry out their activities in romantic relationships and other sexual encounters. This is evaluated on the basis of how people view these relationships and as such, the research code involves three variables:
POLY – for polyamorous relationships
SWING – for swingers and people who have sex with strangers
OPEN – for extramarital and sexual encounters outside monoamorous relationships
These three classes of relationships are evaluated on the basis of responsibility and morality. The idea of responsibility is based on the protection from sexually transmitted diseases and unplanned pregnancies. The idea of morality was about the continuity of traditional family values and how each party is perceived in relation to having commitments and trying to build on a normal and standard family.
The findings indicate that swingers are viewed negatively because they are seen to be irresponsible people in society. Obviously, having sex without any commitment is not something that most people in society consider to be normal, especially women. However, people in polyamorous relationships are viewed to be more responsible than swingers. On the other hand, polyamorous relationships were viewed as amoral because the people involved in such relationships were seen to be some form of social deviants who did not have the kind of moral worth and qualities to belong to a normal society. Open relationships and cheating were viewed as more immoral than polyamorous relationships.
Article 2: Need Fulfillment in Polyamorous Relationships
This is one of several studies that was conducted into the elements and features of polyamorous relationships. These relationships and their feature of being simultaneous and consensual brings about doubts about how the romantic and sexual needs of all partners can be satisfied. It is normal to find out how a person can have sexual encounters with all the different partners of the relationship and provide economic and social obligations that is expected of each party. On this basis, the research was formulated to examine the fundamental features of need fulfilment in polyamorous relationships.
Therefore, the research was done on the basis of conducting an online measurement of elements of need fulfilment in polyamorous relationships. To this end, a total of 1,093 people were examined through an online survey to identify how they carried out their need fulfillment and requirements in relationships.
The research examined how people gained their needs and how they were able to satisfy their obligations in the two or more relationships they had. This was based on some closed ended questions that were presented to the respondents. The findings were aggregated statistically and evaluated as a means of identifying the major patterns and trends in these multiple relationships.
The findings show that they had high levels of need fulfillment in the two or more relationships they had. This meant the people had high levels of enjoyment and satisfaction in the two or more relationships they had. This is not like traditional relationships whereby there is a limited and a small degree of fulfillment.
The results showed that the need fulfillment of these people in the past was limited. This is because when they had one single partner, they were not having the high level of satisfaction and enjoyment the get in polyamorous relationships. Therefore, this showed that polyamorous relationships were more satisfying and fulfilling to the majority of the respondents than monoamorous relationships.
The majority of the respondents indicated that due to the fact that they have more satisfaction, they could also fulfil more of their obligations in the relationships. This meant that they were more willing and able to do what was required of them. As it was inspired by the results they were getting and the positive goals they were getting.
In terms of independent, it was identified that there was some kind of privity of relationship between the parties. This is because what was discussed in one relationship was not discussed in another. This showed that the partners were not sharing information and there was respect just as one would get in a monogamous setting. This indicates that there is a major trend towards separation of obligations from the different parties and this allowed them to do things in ways that was best for them individually.
Article 3: Contemporary Polyamory: A Call for Awareness and Sensitivity in Social Work
This article is an exploratory research into the concept of polyamorous relationships and how they occur in the normal society. This is done from the perspective of social work in order to draw inferences and conclusion on how these relationships work in the United States.
The study is a blend of a literature review which examines secondary sources like books and journals that have done groundbreaking work on the subject of polyamorous relationships. This shows major trends about what is known and how this is viewed in the world of the social sciences. This is complemented by a longitudinal study which examines 500 polyamorous relationships and how they work to meet the needs of the participants and persons involved in these relationships.
The preliminary findings indicate that polyamorous relationships are defined in the sociological context as multiple relationships that go beyond just sexual encounters to include other forms of connection like love, affection and the quest for companionate love long after the passionate elements are gone. This includes a situation where the parties have deeper encounters beyond just sex.
Estimates show that there are 1.2 million to 9.8 million polyamorous relationships in America. Some are kept secretly although they are consensual. However, there are some 500,000 openly polyamorous relationships in the United States. Thus, a longitudinal study was done in order to study and examine trends and processes amongst some 500 relationships in which the respondents showed how they fared in these polyamorous relationships. This inquired about how trust is built and how relationships are viewed by most people in society.
The respondents were studied over a 15-year period in the longitudinal research and they were asked important questions about how their relationships thrive and how the relationships grow in order to become full and normal or standardized relationships that can be compared to other forms of relationships.
The fundamental aspect identified in the longitudinal study indicated that the value of trust and loyalty are important and vital aspects of polyamorous relationships. Here, both parties trust and believe strongly that their partners seek their best interest. Hence, they also give off their best in order to keep the relationship going. Through this, they are able to exchange a lot of love and affection and also get the benefits they need in terms of passionate encounters and companionate love.
There is also a prominent feature of the negotiation of boundaries and the identification of limits of the parties. This ensures that the parties have their needs met and respected in all situations and conditions. This also means that they are able to overcome jealousy and elements of possessiveness and excessive fighting which one will expect in a relationship of this nature.
Another feature discovered in the research is the fact that polyamorous relationships are designed to reject restrictive cultural standards. This is natural because in most parts of the United States, such relationships are not known. Therefore, the partners and parties tend to have to live as minorities where they live. This leads to the need for them to create their own unique and distinct identity and ways of doing things.
The study shows that social work must be carried out with these relationships in mind. Hence, the researchers encourage the training of social workers to be sensitive to such relationships and deal with them with dignity. These relationships are becoming more and more common in the United States and they have to be viewed in a way that is nonjudgmental.
Conclusion
This research has examine and reviewed the concept of polyamory and how it relates to the American society. The study shows that people in America are turning towards polyamorous relationships because there is a high level of need fulfilment in both relationships. Aside that, there is more satisfaction which leads to a stronger will to provide for the other partners. Most respondents in studies show that previous single-relationships were not as fulfilling as polyamorous relationships. However, in spite of the differences, relationships are more independent of each other. This shows that such relationships are treated with a high degree of privity and the parties do not cross and go overboard in dealing with their partners.
The study indicates that polyamory is often based on how well the parties manage their differences and uniqueness. This is about how well the parties are willing and able to build trust and loyalty. When this is done, they are able to have a relationship that is fulfilling and passionate. This is because the trust and loyalty assures each partner and this is the basis for the definition of boundaries and limits in the relationships. In return, the parties are able to have a higher level of interaction and they are able to appreciate each other and attain higher levels of love and affection.
Where there is understanding and there are boundaries that are defined and affected, comparison is reduced. This eliminates tendencies for jealousy, possessiveness and fights because it promotes a stronger sense of reassurance and appropriate connections and desires. The implication is that rejection and restrictive behaviors are limited.
There is a general trend whereby polyamorous relationships are challenged in relation to the dominant cultural standards. This is because most people view it as amoral and irresponsible. This is because the dominant culture of most countries like the United States support monogamy as the appropriate system of relationships. This means there must be commitment and ideally, there must be a marriage. However, polyamorous relationships are more or less diverse and involves different parties and stakeholders.
Studies however show that polyamorous relationships are considered to be more responsible than swingers and casual sexual encounters. This is because the parties are viewed as exchanging more than just sex. And as such, there is responsibility and there is more tendency towards care and protection than there is towards swinging and casual sex. On the basis of morality, polyamorous relationships are considered to be less moral than normal monogamous relationships. This is because they are not like the ideal relationship. However, they are seen to be more moral and logical than extramarital affairs and cheating.
Polyamorous relationships are not illegal. They are respected by the laws and since they involve more than two consenting adults, they are only seen in a social rather than legal light. Therefore, they are allowed and they are permissible. There is no law that can render them illegal in individual society because such a law will contravene the human rights and civil liberties of people involved in such a relationships.
The number of people involved in polyamorous relationships in America keeps growing. This is because there are many people that are willing to participate in them. Therefore, it is becoming acceptable for sociologists to include polyamorous relationships in the list of normal relationships. This is because such relationships are gaining popularity and it seems people are enjoying them. Therefore care must be taken to respect people in such unions and encourage them to have a meaningful life as normal members of society.
References
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Mitchell, M. E., Bartholomew, K., & Cobb, R. J. (2014). Need Fulfillment in Polyamorous Relationships. Journal of Sex Research 51 (3), 329-339.
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