Describe the factors of attraction. What attracts us to one another? Why are we less likely to befriend someone from another culture than someone from a similar background with a similar physical aesthetic? Be sure to identify and describe all six factors in attraction.
Psychology of attraction is a complex and interesting kind of psychology, which provides people with answers to many important questions that are necessary to be understood by everyone seeking for harmonious relationships. In order to understand what attracts people to one another, it is necessary to describe six main factors of attraction.
The first of them is proximity. People who live close to each other are more likely to be attracted due to several reasons – first, proximity considerably increases the possibility of meeting some people and it is easier to get to know some information about them. Second, the regularity of meeting someone also makes a difference – the more we see someone we are attracted the more we are likely to get attracted to them even more.
The second important factor is physical attractiveness. Although there has always been a debate considering this factor, some people saying that it doesn’t actually play any role in formation of attraction to people, but it cannot be considered as absolutely true. No one can deny that physically attractive people tend to be liked by more people than those who don’t possess this quality.
The next factor is similarity. In general, it can be explained in the following way – people tend to like those who share their interests and are similar to them. It is true both of the personality qualities and of the attitudes (Nelson & Morrison, 2005). There are certain factors that lead to such a situation: behavior of such individuals is more predictable to us, than of those who are dissimilar with us. Moreover, greater rewards can be obtained from relationships with similar people. This factor explains why we are more likely to like people of the same culture as ours.
The fourth factor is reciprocity, especially the reciprocity of liking. It can also be easily explained – people tend to like those who like them back. Usually, it is true in most situations with one common exception – when the person liking you has some qualities that you don’t like. It is only natural for people to expect attraction in response to their own feeling, as it is very important for them to feel needed and valued.
The next factor is familiarity, which can be described as liking of those, with whom there is frequent contact. The last factor is barriers – people often feel attracted to those whom they cannot have. This principle is well-known to everyone since childhood, when the forbidden was always the most wanted.
2. Discuss the human need to build bonds and relationships. Do we have an innate need to belong? If so, why? How is this need attached to our emotions, our social bonds, and our fear of deprivation?
One of the features that distinguishes people from other animals most brightly is the need of belonging. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, it is one of the basic ones any person possesses, forming the foundation of people’s relationships not only with one another, but with the world as well (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). It is the most important after the physiological and safety needs, being the first of the social group of needs. Such important role given to this needs shows that it determines a person’s behavior and emotions to a considerable extent, often driving our actions and establishing social bonds. It is important to realize and satisfy this need n order to reach happiness in life.
3. Explain the three types of love: companionate, passionate, and compassionate. What are the differences and similarities among them? What is an example of each type? How does Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love distinguish romantic love, from empty love or infatuation? Please thoroughly address each of the components in Figure 14.1.
The first type of love is called companionate. It can be described as a kind of love without passion, at the same time being stronger than friendship due to long-term commitment. An example of this kind of love is the one existing in marriage after a long time after the ceremony. In this case there is not much passion, but definitely there is commitment and affection.
Compassionate love can be explained as the feeling focused on the good of the other person. It is not the same as romantic love or altruism. There are several characteristic elements of compassionate love – valuing the other person serving as a basis of relationship, receptivity and openness, certain accurate cognitive understanding of the situation, free choice of the other person and response of the heart. The example of such love can be the feeling of one person towards another that is practically unlimited.
Passionate love is based on the most intense feelings, as well as sexual attraction. It can be explained as the state of intense longing for union with another person. An example of this kind of love is the beginning of any relationships between two people in love with one another. Thus, the main differences between these feelings are the passion, commitment and altruism lying in the basis, as well as different ways of their manifestation. Similarity can be the attitude to the people whom we love and the general basis of the feeling.
According to the theory of love, developed by Sternberg, there are three main components of love, which differentiate between its kinds: intimacy, passion and commitment (Feenstra, 2011). The first kind of love according to this classification is liking, which is based solely on intimacy. It can be defined as true friendship, as there is neither passion, nor commitment. Infatuation is the second kind of love that is based only on passion, without intimacy or commitment. Its characteristic feature is that it can suddenly disappear at any moment. Empty love is based only on commitment, with intimacy and passion being absent. Romantic love is the combination of intimacy and passion. Such lovers are bounded on two levels – passionate and emotional, but the third level of commitment is absent. Companionate love has already been discussed above and it unites intimacy and commitment, without passion. Fatuous love takes place when commitment is formed on the basis of passion, without intimacy. The last kind of love, consummate, is the complete form, uniting all the three components and bringing the most happiness to the couple.
References
Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117, 497- 529.
Feenstra, J. (2011). Introduction to social psychology. Bridgepoint Education, Inc.
Nelson, L.D., & Morrison, E. L. (2005). The symptoms of resource scarcity: Judgements of food and finances influence preferences for potential partners. Psychological Science, 16, 167-173.
