Communication
Body Image/Appearance in Interpersonal Relationships
Introduction
Our perceptions of self are shaped by the interactions we have with other people. The quality of an individual’s interpersonal relationships is a major contributor to that individual’s perception of body image . Attractiveness and communication play a large part in the success or failure of romantic relationships. It has been noted that women who have a positive body image, tend to be more confident in their sexual desirability and promote behavior that fosters the relationship. However body image and the importance of appearance is not just female realm. Men also have perceptions about their bodies are conscious of their appearance , however gender differences appear to define the importance of this aspect in the context of interpersonal communication.
Body image is a multi-faceted social construct and is determined by several factors including physiological, psychological, and sociological . It refers to how an individual views their body in the context of sociocultural influences. In other words it is affected by an individual’s interactions with family, friends, fellow employees, the individual’s gender, and their perception of expectations within a relationship, their beliefs, attitudes and their value system. Recent research has established the link between relationship experiences and body image concerns of individuals . Studies have shown that social comparison is a major contributor to perception of body image. Social comparison is the cognitive judgments that people make about their physical and other attributes when compared to others .
Most research in the area of body image and relationships is skewed to the female view . This is perhaps because there are gender differences to the way people view their bodies in the context of romantic relationships. However recent empirical research with male subjects show that men also have specific views about body image and their perceived partner expectations. This paper will examine how body image impacts romantic relationships for women and men through real-life case studies and empirical data on the subject. The paper will also show how the concept applies to our daily lives and how we can create positive communication experiences using the knowledge of this phenomenon.
In a research paper , the case of a female teenager is presented. Katie, a chubby girl liked to play clarinet and was more interested in computers than makeup. She eschewed designer clothes as well. She had been enthusiastic about starting new school and had gone fully prepared for an exciting first day of learning and making friends. However when a boy made a remark about her “fat ass” Katie was shook up. She returned home and announced plans to go on a diet. Late when in Physical Education class when the teacher asks her to complete a task, Katie refuses to participate. Counseling revealed that she was ashamed of her body.
In another case, a 19-year-old Korean American university student had become increasingly preoccupied with her “single eyelids” of which she had been conscious since childhood. . She had started considering “Asian Eyelid Surgery”. Although she was thin, she started to diet and avoided eating out with friends. She had become convinced that becoming thinner would help her feel more confident. She became depressed and withdrawn.
Elliot, a 26-year-old professional athlete met with an accident that resulted in severe injuries and eventually within a year, he was forced to retire from all forms of his sport . His physical activities were extremely reduced, which led to issues with muscular dystrophy and general body weakening. With the changes in his body, the former athlete began to feel that his identity had also changed. Apart from feeling depressed, he started feeling isolated from other athletes and his social network. The most significant impact came when he ended his long-term romantic relationship.
Carey, a young woman, was good at socializing and made friends quickly and she also had the ability to engage with shy people. However, Carey never wanted to enter a romantic relationship with any person. She had extremely negative body image and felt that her appearance would impede a sexual relationship .
These case studies show that from a very young age, body image in the context of the opposite sex has a profound impact on the individual. How people perceive their bodies is ingrained from childhood . In a sexual relationship or a romantic relationship the body plays a significant role and an individual’s perception of his or her body drives the relationship. It is also notable that studies show that more often than not the self-perception of the body may not match that of the partner . The next section of the paper will present the findings of three empirical researches in the field of body image and romantic relationships.
In a study on how young women perceived their bodies when they were in new relationships, it was found that on average women perceived their bodies as heavier than what they thought their romantic partners saw them as and how the romantic partners actually perceived them. The 95 women were in the age group 18-30 years and the 95 men were in the age group 18-35 years. The women were given diagrams of 9 body types and asked to choose which they thought fit them best, what they want to look like, what their romantic partners though they looked like and what their romantic partners wanted them to look like. Since weight is associated with body image, the researchers also measured their BMI or Body Mass Index. Next researchers gave the women a questionnaire on the women’s perceptions of their relationship satisfaction. The results showed that women were more dissatisfied with their bodies than the men they were involved with, an indication that women are self-critical about their bodies. There was a correlation between BMI and body image but it did not affect the relationship quality. The final finding was that in long-term relationships body image did not impact the relationship’s changes.
In another study , to understand how young girls and boys perceive body image in the context of romantic relationships a sample of 42 girls and 38 boys in the 15-16 age group were asked to respond to a survey on their ideal image of attractiveness. They were required to answer what they thought were attractive features in both their gender and the opposite gender. The results showed that face, height and weight outscored other criteria like personality, intelligence and style. It was however significant that shape of the body was not a major criteria for girls in their self-perception. Boy also did not rate body shape important in a girl’s attractiveness. However, 83% girls and 77% boys responded that shape was an essential attractive feature in boys. Boys generally rated intelligence, style and popularity as the least important things in a girl’s attractiveness.
The third study presented here was conducted to understand how men perceive their body image in romantic relationships. This was in essence the reverse of the first study presented here. 104 heterosexual men participated along with their partners. The men were required to choose from 9 body types what they though suited their body best. They were also asked to choose what they felt their partner perceived them as. The women were asked to choose what they thought their partner looked liked and what they thought the men felt they looked like to the women. BMI was measured for all the men. A marital questionnaire, which included questions on intimacy and sexual life was provided to the participants. The results showed that men were also self-critical in the perception of the bodies but unlike women they were able to correctly predict what their partners perceived them as. Both the men’s and women’s perception of BMI contributed significantly to the satisfaction in the relationship. Men’s body satisfaction had a significant role in sexual intimacy but not in the length of the relationship. Also significant was that men were concerned about weight changes only in the context of sexual intimacy and not in the context of body image.
Discussion
Negative body image can impact interpersonal relationships by manifesting the body dissatisfaction as dissatisfaction with the relationship itself . Since men and women perceive role of body image differently in a relationship, this brings about a conflict in the way the couple will communicate and the perception of the relationship itself. While women who are dissatisfied with their bodies may worry about the quality of the relationship, men are more likely to see body dissatisfaction as hampering with sexual intimacy but may not perceive it as a relationship issue per se.
Knowledge of this phenomenon will help people openly speak to each other about their issues or at least acknowledge the reason for dissatisfaction with the relationship. For relationship issues arising from body image issues, the first and most important tip is to begin communicating . Jennine Estes, a marriage and family therapist calls the process “Taking down the wall” in which couples should discuss their feelings of dissatisfaction. Only when a partner’s concerns are out in the open can the process of identifying solutions begin . Understanding each other’s concerns and working towards solutions is the key to overcoming any relationship issue.
Conclusion
Body image has significant impact on how people interact in a romantic relationship. Negative body image leads to dissatisfaction with the relationship and poor articulation of issues. However, these issues can be overcome by opening lines of communication and talking about each other’s perceptions and working towards solutions together.
References
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