WHETHER OR NOT BOTH PARENTS SHOULD ASSUME EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY IN RAISING A CHILD
Raising a child and grooming him or her to face the challenges in life is the key responsibility of the parents. Both parents have an important role in raising the child which makes their role important. Fathers give the child the courage to deal with the challenges and deliver the art of defending themselves with the adversities of life. The child must be taught the mechanism of life and must possess confidence in them and have a sense of responsibility of the acts they are responsible. Father is always considered as the provider for the family and he aims to execute all the needs which the family requires. Mothers are tender and deliver the child manners to make them a better person in life. Mothers are the groomers and they lay the foundation in making the child a better person (Burns, 1992). This is the classical design of a family but in the modern age and era the style of parenting is changing. The modern parents are engaged socially and they have to deal with the societal challenges for the upbringing. These challenges have changed the role of the parents. These days both the parents are working to accomplish the basic needs and the sole objective is to provide better living standards to the children. This affects the upbringing of the children. Both the parents are busy and they lack the time to groom the children. This essay will debate on the role of both the parents in raising a child and that if the participation of one of the parent will affect the upbringing of the child or not (Burns, 1992).
The benefits of sharing the parental responsibility are to understand the need that both the parents have equal responsibilities towards their child is that the bond developed between the parents and their children is much stronger. Both parents get an equal share of their time with the child and they get attached to them. This also exposes the child to the social differences and they learn to adapt to the varying style of both the parents (Parke, 2003). The challenges of equal parenting highlight that one of the parent has to let go of the additional attachment towards the child. The role of the other parent must be acknowledged and the nagging attitude of one performing ones duties must be avoided. For equal parenting style to work both the parents must have a learning attitude towards each other. The parenting criteria and standards also change with the changing cultures. In some cultures, the parents show equality with their parental responsibilities. This is mostly found in the cases where both the parents are working to provide the children with the better standards of life (Burns, 1992). The roles of the parents are subject to change with the changing cultures. In some cultures which are male dominated, mothers are held responsible for the upbringing of the children completely and the fathers are the providers of the family. They are only responsible to see that the needs of the children are being catered completely (Deutsch, Servis, & Payne, 2001).
The importance of fathers is referred to as being more prominent for the upbringing of the child by some school of thoughts. The fathers impact directly on the upbringing and well being of the child. Many sociologists have claimed that fathers who are more involved in the parenting of their children bring positive advantages to them. The cognitive ability of the child, their achievements in the educational arena, their psychological impact on the child and the behavior which they develop, their social responses and the behavior which they depict are all adapted by the child from their fathers (Clarke-Stewart & Allhusen, 2005). The relationship between the parents also influences the children. The fathers who have a good relationship with the mothers of the children have children with stronger emotional and moral values. The cultures in which the fathers dominate, they are considered as the providers. They only have the responsibility to provide to the family. In these cultures the mothers become the limelight for the children. They become responsible to prepare the child to face the challenges. This is based on the mutual consensus between the parents to take up the roles and the tasks for the upbringing of the child. If one of the parents is solely responsible to provide to the family and to fulfill the basic needs and requirements of the family than the other one has to become responsible for the upbringing of the child. The role of the father for the children develops the psychological and social well being (Burns, 1996). The role of the father is very powerful and it becomes the basis of the good behavior for the child. The children who have good relationships are less subject to the social issue. They are less adaptive to violence, intake of drugs and they stay away from felonious acts. This is the power and prominence of the role of the fathers in the upbringing of their children (Deutsch, 2001).
The debate on parenting that which of the parent is more important for the family will never end. It has been observed that the presence of both the parents is equally important. The mothers have their own role to perform and the fathers have their own roles. The responsibilities which both have are complementary (Parke, 2003). A father cannot replace a mother and a mother cannot replace a father. A child needs both the parents. A small or infant child needs the mother most. This is because the mother is aware of the nonverbal tone of the child. She can cater the child more easily. At that stage of the baby, she can take care of the cleaning, dressing and feeding of the child more easily (Parke, 2003). The mother is exactly what the infants need. The child needs a mother more when he is vulnerable and dependent. The role of the father comes in when the child is growing. He needs the father more to prepare him and to help him deal with the social issues and challenges (Waldfogel, 2006). The rational thinking and communication practices which the children adopt are normally because of the fathers. The mother is the person with which the children spend most of their time. She understands the child better and caters their needs in the most efficient manner. The role of the mother as being more emotionally attached to the child makes her more integral for the child, but this does not prove her dominance on the role of the father. The mother is the one that nourishes the child and the father is the provider of all those factors (Parke, 2003). The father is the one responsible for making the child more practical and they teach them those techniques. At the same time the mother is responsible for the health and the caring of the children and to see their well being (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991).
The role of the mothers and their place in the life of a child is a natural bond. The bond begins during the pregnancy period and develops as the child grows. The mother’s interaction and involvement in the life of the child and his wellbeing is unique (Parke, 2003). The bonding between both is strong socially and emotionally. The love of a mother is unconditional and all that a mother desires is the wellbeing of her child. The mother is the link which connects the family and it is her role that contributes to the welfare of the family. The role of the mother in the parenting of the child is very unique but it cannot be complete without the fathers (Parke, 2003). Mothers are integral for the wellbeing of the children and are responsible to guide them with education and health. The mother nurtures the children and makes the best food just to get a smile from the children (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991). They accompany the children when they are young with recreation and do all that is possible to make the children happy. The contribution of the mother for the child requires acknowledgement. She is the one who easily understands the vocals of the child and she caters all the needs and requirements of the child. She understands the child’s vocals and what he wants (Parke, 2003).
The role of the mothers who work to support the families should be acknowledged. This is because they work in the day and when they come home they work to cater the families and to monitor and groom the children (Deutsch, 2001). The role of a working mother is a two shift job. First she works in the office and then when she comes home after a full and hectic day at the office they do another eight hour shift to groom the children. They monitor the children and manage the house too. All this is done primarily by the parents to provide a better lifestyle to the children. Some of the fathers contribute to this by supporting their wives with the household chores but still the main responsibility ends up on the mothers (Parke, 2003). A mother at this instance performs the duty of the house as a child raiser, the manager of the house, as an officer who deals with the information and she is also the decision maker of the house (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991). All these roles which a mother performs make her supreme. These responsibilities for a working mother are even more difficult (Parke, 2003).
The hardships which the working parents or the single parent which is most often a mother faces are that she has to undergo a lot of challenges. She has to perform both the tasks of working to earn money to support the home and to spend quality time with the children to make them a better person in the future. The path which is being followed by the parent and the child are tough. They both struggle for navigation out of the challenges (Deutsch, 2001). The role of a single mother is very tough and she has to deal with many factors for the betterment of the children. A single parent has to deal with the economic stress. This is because she is the one and only supporter of the financial needs of the house. She has to work in multiple jobs to support the house and the opportunity cost for this is that she has less time to spend with the children. There are too many tasks to perform and very little time is left to be spent with the children which leaves them neglected (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991). The parent at this stage feels lonely and requires consulting someone for the decisions which she intends to take. The lack of time available to the parent for the children results in the negative behavior. The child develops a particular behavior and in advent to that losses his childhood (Deutsch, 2001).
It is clearly observed that the role of both the parents is integral for the upbringing of the child. The mother and the father are both the driving factors of the house. The mother has a prominent role in the development of the child. She is attached to the child emotionally and is the one responsible for the health and education of the child (Deutsch, 2001). A mother is closer to the child and cares to nourish that child. A father is the bread earner of the house and he is the one responsible to fulfill the needs of the house. He trains the child for the practicality of the world and teaches him the behavior which is required to compete with the hardships and the challenges. The role and the responsibilities of both the parents are essential in raising a child. The father and the mother both have roles which the others can perform but they cannot master it. The mother is good at caring for the child (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991). This is why a mother is very important for the children when they are small. She cares for them and grooms them. In the same way the father is important for the children when they become older (Deutsch, 2001). The fathers are the providers of the nourishment which the mother produces to the family. The upbringing of the children becomes difficult for the single parents because they are trying to perform a task at which they are not good. This leaves the parent to face several other challenges. They face economic hardship and the time which the children want is not given to them (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991).
It can be concluded that both the parents are essential for raising the child and that they must assume equal responsibility in doing so. Both the parents have their own parenting roles and duties which the other can perform but the perfection and temperament which the specific parent has cannot be replaced by the other. A mother can perform the responsibilities of a father and a father can perform the responsibilities of a mother but the perfection can never be achieved. This proves that both the parents have their own importance in the upbringing of the child. Both the parents hold equal responsibility towards the child (Deutsch, 2001). They need to maintain that balance so that the child learns from both and with the passage of time becomes adaptive to the society and its norms. A mother and the father are both enormously important for raising the child (Furstenberg Jr. & Cherlin, 1991). The parents bring power and technique to the children and these roles of the parents complement each other. The kids require the love, involvement and support from both the parents. This proves that both the parents are vital for healthy and intellective upbringing of a child.
REFERENCES
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Deutsch, F. M., Servis, L. J., & Payne, J. D. (2001). Paternal participation in child care and its effects on children's self-esteem and attitudes toward gendered roles. Journal of Family Issues, 22(8), 1000-1024.
Furstenberg Jr, F. F., & Cherlin, A. J. (1991). Divided families: What happens to children when parents part (Vol. 1). Harvard University Press.
Parke, M. (2003). Are Married Parents Really Better for Children? Center for Law and Social Policy. Available from http://www.clasp.org/admin/site/publications_states/files/0086.pdf [Accessed 21 June 2013]
Waldfogel, J. (2006). What do children need?. Public Policy Research, 13(1), 26-34.
