Introduction
Although rape and sexual assault are serious offenses, public discourse about these issues fail to clearly address the problems that victims go through even after these atrocious acts were committed against them. In reality, despite public acceptance of rape and sexual abuse as crime and the mandate for the punishment of those that commit these acts, the overall public response to these crimes are underwhelming to the point of bringing about detrimental impact on the life of victims. On one hand, we have a system that fails to prevent rape and sexual abuse and protect people and victims alike from these crimes. On the other hand, some people fail to support victims and understand their needs and predicament due to either apathy or indifference and victim-blaming. The following discussion focuses on these issues that relate to rape and sexual assault from the point of view of victims.
Second Rape
Second rape essentially refers to the inadequate and inappropriate response of people towards an individual victimized of rape and sexual abuse. If people are apathetic towards any victim, this apathy prevents society from addressing the problem, specifically in preventing rape and sexual abuse and protecting victims and people in general from abuse. ‘Second rape’ is called as such because even after the rape and abuse of a victim, he or she continues to be victimized by a system or a society that feels indifferent towards the victim’s pain and suffering. The victim considers second rape as a form of betrayal when apathy not only favors offenders but also creates a window for them to continue victimizing other people. As a result, victims feel let down by other people and the system, especially those in position or those that are capable of doing something about the situation to alleviate the suffering of the victim. On the contrary, second rape aggravates the situation because it prolongs the victim’s suffering. Without the support and understanding from other people and without a stern system that exacts justice and retribution for the benefit of the victim and the community, victims will feel unsafe and undeserving. The danger of second rape lays in its impact or influence on the way victims see themselves. In some situations, victims feel that it is their fault why they were victimized in the first place. It may be an effect of the rape itself, or within the context of second rape, the effect of other’s people’s apathy and victim-blaming. In other cases, victims continue to suffer after their rape or abuse because of society’s denial that it happened. Overall, second rape impairs the capability of victims to move on after being raped or sexually abused because it prolongs the victims’ suffering and agony even after their victimization.
Forms of second rape include apathy from the victim’s family and friends. In other cases, some people do not take the victim seriously when he or she opens about being raped or sexually assaulted. Madigan and Gamble (1991) also said that in some cases, the authorities, the people who are supposed to be helping victims achieve justice, are the ones that turn their backs on the victims. Victim-blaming is also a form of second rape. This has been discussed various times in the media because some people blame the victim for what happened to him or her. Some arguments revolve around “he/she was asking for it” when the discussion should be that no one must rape or abuse anyone no matter the situation.
Raine discussed her own experiences of second rape in her novel “After Silence”. Raine recounted the authorities telling her that she was lucky to be alive. It was an insensitive remark on the part of the authorities because their statement implies that because the rapist did not kill Raine, she should feel lucky when in fact the rape is as brutal as murder. When you are a victim, there is no hierarchy in crime so when you are victimized, no matter the crime, it is unfortunate and physically and emotionally injurious to the victim. The stigma as on rape and sexual assault as displayed by the police officers’ statements has affected Raine deeply. ‘Second rape’ made her feel powerless instead of lucky. Hence, second rape prevents victims from moving on as it works in reverse.
Self-Blame among Victims of Rape and Sexual Abuse
Self-blame is a result of second rape and the stigma that society attaches to the victims of rape and sexual assault. In “After Silence”, Raine (1998) wrote in detail about her experiences after being victimized, some of them point to self-blame. Raine went through different kinds of emotions during the seven years after she was raped as she noted in her novel. Sometimes, Raine felt that what happened to her was her fault. Self-blame, according to Raine, was an effect of victim-blaming. Her interactions with other people pushed her to blame herself because some of them made her feel that it was her fault and that she asked for it. Other people also ignored Raine’s feelings and needs as they attributed her rape to inconsequential things such as poor luck or bad karma. It had become apparent to Raine then that people found it easier to “discredit the victim, rather than to witness her pain” (p. 90), and this inattention from other people places the blame on the victim. Consequently, the blame consumes the victim and convinces him or her that it was indeed his or her fault.
Raine sometimes tried to tell herself that it was not her fault but she found it difficult to believe it. She sought to understand why she felt that way and so she wrote about it and later on, after consulting several sources including the Bible, Raine discovered that shame leads to self-blame. Ideally, victims of rape and sexual abuse should not feel shame. It must be the contrary – the criminal must feel shame for what he or she has done to another human being. However, it was the opposite because of the way society sees rape and sexual assault. Shame was the reason why Raine blamed herself because she felt ashamed of what happened to her. Consequently, the shame that one feels brings the victim’s attention to himself or herself instead of the victim. This inward gaze brings victims to blame themselves. On the contrary, victims need to be told that being victimized was not their fault. At one point in the novel, Raine wrote that she wanted to hear her doctor tell her that it was not her fault. Raine’s desire reflects the victims’ need in general to know that they did not bring rape and sexual abuse upon themselves and for other people – family and friends especially – to make them feel that their feelings and emotions are valid.
The Concept of Silence
The concept of silence within the context of rape and sexual assault primarily refers to the inability of victims to talk about their experiences of being raped or sexually abused, let alone to report it to the authorities. In a report released by Catalano (2012), a statistician for the Bureau of Justice, the author discussed statistics and information about stalking victims in the United States. Stalking refers to behavior that includes making unwanted phone calls or sending letters via mail or email to the victim, spying and following the victim, and spreading rumors about the victim whether online or offline. Stalking may not be classified as rape or sexual assault but like the victims of the latter, some victims of stalking do not report their stalkers out of fear. This behavior among some victims illustrate the concept of silence. Fear prevents victims from reporting perpetrators. This fear, whether it stems from the victim’s personal fear of consequences or from the perpetrator’s threats, silences victims because it makes them think twice about reporting incidences of victimization (Burgess, Regehr, & Roberts, 2012). Fear incapacitates them and it overwhelms their need to seek help and protection from their family, friends and the authorities.
In “After Silence”, silence reflects Raine’s way of dealing with what happened to her. Whether it was intentional or not, Raine’s family and friends silenced her because they wanted her to forget and move on. On Raine’s part, she had to suffer in silence because her family and friends wanted her to be alright even if deep inside she was not. Raine also held back when meeting new people. She felt that she could not tell other people about her experiences because nobody other people did not want to listen to her experiences. Silence was also part shame on the part of the victims, and part fear and anxiety brought about by the perpetrators’ resounding threat that remains in the memories of victims. Raine also wrote about a hurtful comment from a friend. When Raine finally opened up about her feelings and talked about her anger and dark thoughts about the rapist that destroyed her fault, her friend told her that perhaps it would do her good to move past it. This kind of situation pushes victims into silence when they learn that nobody wanted to hear about their feelings. It was when Raine could no longer remain silent about it, she started writing about her experiences.
Tori Amos
Tori Amos was considered a child prodigy. At the age of 5, she was granted a scholarship at the Peabody Conservatory of Music in Maryland on account of her ability at a tender age to compose songs for the piano. As a teenager, Amos started working by performing in bars and later on playing the piano in piano bars in the Washington D.C. When she turned 21, Amos moved to Los Angeles with plans of launching her career in music. It was during this time that Amos was raped. Details about the incident are unclear but a male fan apparently needed a ride home and when Amos helped him, the man raped her at knifepoint. Later on, Amos co-founded the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN). RAINN is one of the several organizations that seek to address rape and sexual assault in a way that would help victims to report and open up about their experiences. RAINN works with rape crisis counsellors, employed or volunteers, in helping rape and sexual assault victims talk about their experiences (RAINN, n.d.).
Amos wrote the song “Me and the Gun” in reference to her experience of being raped.
In the song, Amos sings about a woman being held at gun point while the man raped her. As this happens, the woman in the song sings “holy holy”. In an interview, Amos talked about the incident and said that the man that raped her asked her to sing, which she did because she was scared and she wanted to live the ordeal. Despite the bitterness and pain in the song, Amos remains hopeful and optimistic in the song “Me and a Gun”. She sang “But I haven’t seen Barbados” (Amos, 1991), which could be interpreted literally but metaphorically speaking, it shows that the woman in the song still have dreams that she has not achieved, places she have not seen yet. Therefore, even if what happened to her was unspeakably brutal, she understands that she must go on because of these things. In the song, Amos also sang “funny the things you think at times like these” (Amos, 1991), which means that while being raped, she sought a means of escape from what was happening to her, something that made her forget where she was at that time. The woman in the song thought of Barbados while she was being raped to calm herself and to not think about it. In a way, thinking about “Barbados” was a means to silence herself and to block out the bad memories. Deep inside, however, the incident changed her. In “What I know about Men”, a piece written by Amos for The Guardian, she talked about her relationship with men (Mattera, 2009). Amos said that men has a violent side, the kind that would lead to the ruin or damage of another person. Clearly, this was in reference to her own experience, wherein the desire of the man who raped her damaged her as a human being and it made her relationships with men complex.
Conclusion
Rape and sexual abuse are atrocious acts that damage the victim physically, emotionally, and socially. Nevertheless, victims suffer more than the direct impact of rape and sexual abuse. Apathy, victim-blaming, and lack of support from people or society and the system aggravate the problems of victims and prolongs their suffering. Raine and Amos’ experiences, as well as countless experiences of many victims as discussed in resource texts, prove that they have been continually victimized even after their rape and sexual abuse due to the stigma attached to being victimized and the general indifference from other people, sometimes including their family and friends. These issues highlight the need for a shift in public discourse about rape and sexual assault and an awareness of the impact of our general response towards the issue and towards victims of rape and sexual abuse.
References
Amos, T. (1991). Me and a gun. On Little Earthquakes [CD]. New York, NY: Atlantic Records.
Burgess, A. W., Regehr, C. & Roberts, A. R. (2012). Victimology: Theories and applications. ISBN 978-1449665333
Catalano, S. (2012). Stalking victims in the United States – revised. Retrieved from: www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/svus_rev.pdf
Madigan, L. & Gamble, N. C. (1991). The second rape: Society’s continued betrayal of the victim. ISBN 978-0669271898
Mattera, A. (2009). What I know about men. Retrieved from http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/2009/jul/05/tori-amos-relationships-men
Raine, N. V. (1998). After silence: Rape and my journey back. ISBN 0-517-70683-0
RAINN. (n.d.). New York. Retrieved from: https://www.rainn.org/pdf-files-and-other-documents/Public-Policy/Legal-resources/NewYork.pdf
