Within India, a large number of people marry through the arrangement made by their parents. An arranged marriage is done when the family makes choices about the spouse of a family member. These choices are normally done by the father or the male head of the family. A couple gets together “according to their family’s wishes, and the focus is on accepting and adjusting to partners after marriage,” (Myers, Madathil, and Tingle, 187). In other words, in an arranged marriage, romantic love and affection are not prerequisites for a couple to marry – love and affection are instead expected to grow over time. Choosing a mate is usually based on criteria such as “substinence skills, family alliances, economic arrangement between families, and health,” (Myers, Madathil, and Tingle, 183). It is also imperative that for an arranged marriage, both future spouses would “share many characteristics such as social class, religion, caste and educational attainment,” (Dholakia).
The process of arranged marriages has been a longstanding ancient tradition within India for thousands of years, particularly within the Hindu community. Since the fourth century, arranged marriages served to be the “central fabric of Indian society, reinforcing the social economic, geographic, and the historic significance of India,” (Flanigan). This was done to maintain social status, “continue ancestral lineage,” (Flanigan) and continue local control to the right families within a town or a village. It was also seen as a method to unite two families, instead of just the two individuals getting married (Flanigan). The tradition of arranged marriages have also spread to the Indian population that practices Islam.
In both the Hindu and Islamic tradition, matchmaking used to be done with “the help of local matchmakers” (Harris), who would carry around profiles of eligible bachelors and maidens. Normally, potential mates are recommended within the same social connections, since arranged marriages were long seen “as a guarantor of social status and economic security,” (Harris). Economic prestige is usually proven with the use of a dowry, although this tradition has “spread to the lower caste,” (Flanigan), which causes common problems. Of such problems, a rejected dowry can result in violence (Harris).
In both religions and cultures within India, the father has the responsibility to make sure that his children are married. There is a certain emphasis placed on the idea that the woman is a being that is created to be with men in general, starting with her father, then her husband, then her sons (Flanigan) (Dholakia). This dependence on men goes throughout her lifetime, and this is because both the Hindu and Islamic cultures are run as patriarchal societies. Marriages are normally done at a young age, with many girls being married by the age of 16 for the Hindu tradition (Flanigan). In the Muslim tradition, if a woman is unmarried by the age of 24, then she “brings shame upon her family, and she is considered a burden,” (Flanigan).
Arranged marriages are still extremely prevalent in India, with “as many as 90 percent of all Indian marriages are arranged,” (Dholakia), according to India’s International Institute for Population Sciences and the Population Council. It is also necessary to note that “only about 1 in 100 Indian marriages end in divorce,” (Dholakia). This makes the prospect of arranged marriages a popular choice (Harris, 2015). The future couple also place higher value “to compatibility and financial security” (Dholakia) than the concept of love. All in all, it would seem the reason that arranged marriages in India are preferred and are successful would be that the process of choosing a potential spouse is much more calculated than that of a free-choice marriage that is based on love. There would also be a trust factor between the people looking to marry and the family members who chose their potential spouses for them (Dholakia).
Technology has played a part in how arranged marriages in India have been changing. Instead of finding a potential mate within the community or town, a father can search through marriage websites. India “now has more than 1,500” (Harris) websites that cater to matchmaking. One such website, BharatMatrmony.com, states that is “helps nearly 50,000 people in India get married each month,” (Harris). With access to the Internet and these sites, other family members such as mothers and siblings have also been able to suggest mates for their intended family members. The growth in having more family members get involved with the marriage process and in allowing the children themselves to choose is due to the large migration to bustling cities and better education for women.
But the access to technology has opened up possibilities for the intended couples to seek out each other’s attention themselves (Harris), either through e-mails or through texting on their cell phones. Prospective mates are able to post their own profiles on a matchmaking website. About “82 percent of male profiles are posted by he prospective grooms rather than by their parents,” (Harris), and about 56 percent of women post their own profiles on these marriage websites. Cell phones are also used to contact prospective mates on their own so that they can have privacy together away from the supervision of their families. Either way, usually, it is the children that end up rejecting or accepting mates that their family members recommend. These types of arrangements are called “semi-arranged marriages” (Harris).
The prospect of semi-arranged marriages is mostly found among people living in large cities, where there are plenty of choices for people to choose from. But for “poor, rural women, the notion of even semi-arranged marriages is still mainly out of reach,” (Harris). This trend gives in to the fact that India “has a third of the world’s child brides,” (Harris) according to Unicef at India. These child brides would be the poor, rural children who were arranged by their fathers to marry young boys or even young men, and are thus subject to abuse.
The practice of arranged marriage plays a central part within India’s culture. Whether done by people of the Hindu faith or by Muslims, the practice of arranged marriage is something that is mostly accepted by the majority of Indian society. Before, it was done primarily based on the agreements made between both fathers. Now, there is a tendency to allow the intended couples to have choice in the matter. Technology has made the process go by easier for them, giving them more choices to choose from, and allowing more family members to suggest mates. Either way, arranged marriage in India is shown to be a successful practice, with many couples reporting content and happiness in their arranged marriage (Myers, Madathil, and Tingle, 185).
Works Cited
Dholakia, Utpal. “Why Are So Many Indian Arranged Marriages Successful?” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers, LLC, 24 November 2015. Web. 9 April 2016.
Flanigan, Santana. “Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Dowries in India,” Postcolonial Studies at Emory. Emory University, Fall 2000. Web. 9 April 2016.
Harris, Gardiner. “Websites in India Put a Bit of Choice in Arranged Marriages,” The New York Times. The New York Times Company, 24 April 2015. Web. 9 April 2016.
Myers, Jane E., Madathil, Jayamala, and Tingle, Lynne R. “Marriage Satisfaction and Wellness in India and the United States: A Preliminary Comparison of Arranged Marriages and Marriages of Choice,” Journal of Counseling & Development Spring 2005: 183-190. Print.
