Introduction
Monogamy is defined as type of marriage where a person has only one husband/wife at any single time (Troost, 2005). Traditionally, monogamous relationships were assumed to be between a man and woman or vice versa but recent developments in the marriage structure and homosexual activism has led to the inclusion of two women or men in a marital relationship as a form of monogamy. However, for the purpose of this research, the conventional monogamous structure of one husband and wife will be used. Monogamy normally has two sociological perspectives. These include: one, having only one spouse in a lifetime; and two, having only one spouse at a given time. Since the study will work by a comparative analysis of monogamy and polygamy aspects, the second perspective will be used as it is the one which contrast with polygamy and not the first one whose contrast is digamy. Some sociologists argue that monogamy is an ethical value that should be characteristic of all marriages. This is based on the argument that the fulfillment and intimacy that should be enjoyed in a marriage can only happen between two parties and not more.
Polygamy, on the other hand, is form of marriage where a person has more than one spouse at a given time (Troost, 2005). This form of marriage is considered illegal in some countries such as the United States while it is permissible in others. For example, in South Africa, polygamy is allowed by law and this can best be demonstrated by the polygamous nature of the country’s president; he has five wives.
Background of the Study
Monogamous and polygamous marriages have been existent even before civilization. The Christian story of creation shows that the first people to be created were in a monogamous marriage. A few decades down the line the same story gives accounts of polygamous marriages by individuals such as Jacob. The reasons given for people engaging in polygamous or monogamous marriages are diverse and vary from religion, culture, ethics, legal reasons etc. Though the reasons vary, it can be noted that monogamous and polygamous marriages are established to benefit one or either of the parties involved. It is hence necessary to establish which of the two genders involved in a marriage setting benefits more from each of the two marriages.
Statement of the Problem
Women’s rights activists, sociologists, marriage counselors and other relevant stakeholders have varied opinion on who between the husband and wife stands to benefit more in a monogamous marriage and also in a polygamous one. The debate on these benefits has also been there amongst both married and single people. To some, women benefit more from polygamous marriages while to others they don’t. To others, the men who are at an advantaged position in monogamous marriage while to others it is when they are in polygamous ones. So, what do the facts show? Which position does research give on this debate? That is the problem this research aims to give a valid answer for.
Purpose of the Study
This study is necessary to establish which gender benefits more in each of the two types of marriages i.e., monogamy and polygamy.
Hypotheses
H1: Women benefit more from polygamous relationships in society.
This paper borrows from an article by Satoshi Kanazawa published on February 21, 2008 in The Scientific Fundamentalist. The author’s general opinion in the paper is what has been used to formulate the hypotheses for this study.
Kanazawa argues that the main benefits that a woman derives from polygamy include:
The opportunity of getting married to a resourceful and respected man even if he is married to another woman.
Her security as a woman.
The security of her children.
Based on Kanazawa’s argument, the benefits that a woman derives are based on the man’s:
Fame: Women prefer marrying famous men than ordinary men.
Social status: What is the social rating of the man in the society? Is he respected?
Wealth: The economic benefits a woman derives from the man; how wealthy the man is.
Fame, social status and wealth therefore are the major benefits that a polygamous woman enjoys. Kanazawa and other scholars on the issue of marriage have interestingly noted that women feel more secure when married to a man of high social standing than when in the arms of a poor man.
Based on this, the independent variable in the hypothesis, ‘women benefit more from polygamous relationships,’ is Polygamy while the dependent variables are fame, social status and wealth.
H2: Men benefit more from monogamous relationships in society.
Kanazawa on the other hand points out that the two things that men value in marriage are sexual pleasure and number of children. Since sexual pleasure is based on intimacy, sociologists point out that there is more intimacy between two people than among a group of people.
This is why men benefit more from monogamous relationships as they get more sexual pleasure. Though men place a major emphasis on the number of children in a marriage, studies show that this does not mean that they would be content with an infinite number of children (Troost, 2005, p. 112). Men do want many children but research shows that this figure often has a value which is influenced by the number of kids that a man feels they can support. This means that it is easier for men to achieve this target when in a monogamous relationship that in a polygamous one.
Based on the above, the independent variable for the second hypothesis is monogamy, while the dependent variables are sexual pleasure and number of children the man has. There will however be other independent variables for this hypothesis which are general satisfaction, wealth and subjective feeling of success. The following question will be asked to the male respondents as the research seeks to quantify the dependent variables:
Qstn: Does [dependent variable] influence your satisfaction in marriage?
Procedure of the Study
The researcher will sample women and men in both polygamous and monogamous families and conduct an interview to find out how the variables above relates to them.
The study sample will include women in polygamous marriages and men in monogamous marriages.
The questions included in the interview schedule will seek to answer whether the two hypotheses are true or not (i.e. whether women benefit more in polygamous marriages and men in monogamous marriages).
The results will then be analyzed appropriately.
Predicted Result
I anticipate the results will not agree with the two hypotheses i.e. women have fewer benefits in polygamous marriages and men have fewer benefits in monogamous marriages. Comparing the two independent variables (polygamy and monogamy), I expect monogamy to have more benefits on men than on women; and monogamy to have more benefits to both men and women as compared to polygamy.
CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW
Popular belief has it that women do not benefit from polygamous relationships. This is a false belief because it has been shown that indeed women gain a lot from having polygamous relationships. Men also are encouraged to be polygamous, that it is where they will draw maximum satisfaction (Kanzawa, 2010). It is however seen that by being monogamous they get a lot of benefits as opposed to being polygamous.
In a society where polygamy is allowed, women will be able to enjoy the status of one man who is wealthy (Kanzawa, 2010). When a man of status is allowed to marry more than one woman, he will be able to help all of them. Due to the maternal nature of women they would prefer to be sharing a highly resourceful man than being in a monogamous relationship with a man who is not financially stable.
The women would want to be in an environment of as much comfort as possible for themselves and more importantly for their children. Therefore they will seek for stability when considering long life relationships. Wealth brings with it certainty of many benefits. Living standards will be high and stress levels caused by constant worrying about financial issues are significantly reduced.
On the other hand it is beneficial that every man should have one woman. The statistics in place show that there is a lady available for every man (Kanzawa, 2010). The ratio is equally distributed. It does not matter whether the man in question is third rate; he is able to acquire a wife for himself. In the event the society practices polygamy, most women will prefer a man who is well resourced. The men who have not amassed a lot of wealth may be left without wives.
Sometimes with luck they may secure a wife amidst the competition from the other wealthy participants. The wives they will get will not be as desirable compared to the ones they would have gotten in a society of monogamy. The more desirable women will have become the third, tenth or second wives to more socially well off people.
There are some exceptions to this rule. One exception is that it is a desirable woman who benefits from a society of monogamy (Kanzawa, 2010). The other exception to the rule is benefits of a polygamous society to men who are wealthy. There is no constraint to marriage between men who are highly desirable to women who are highly desirable. They can marry under all circumstances. In a society where polygamy is practiced, the woman will have to share her wealthy man with other women. Also in a monogamous society the union will result to restricting the man to other women.
A man who is highly desirable will have numerous wives as he pleases in a society which is polygamous while under a monogamous society there will only one wife allocated to him. According to the distribution curve, people are not extreme. This is to say that in a realistic society you will not find very tall people or too short people in a majority. The society will mostly have average people in height. The same goes for the desirable nature of people. Most men and women in society will be not be seen as extremely undesirable nor highly exceptionally desirable. The society will have people who are in between. The men will therefore enjoy benefits from monogamy and women would accrue benefits in a polygamous society. Due to the nature of personalities, people will not be termed too likeable or too unlikeable. The society will look at everyone with their weakness and strengths and strike a balance.
Men get excited to think about what it is like being a part of a polygamous society. They only view it as a place where they will have many wives at their side. This can prove to be different when they find themselves with no one to call a wife. Polygamy is limited to a little number of men. This is because since you can share the best, only those who have a high standing in the society will be popular. The men who are not popular will not have women running after them. They will be rejected as the women will have an option of enjoying better lives elsewhere.
Since the ratio states that each man has one woman available to them, a polygamous society will bring imbalance to the equilibrium. We can do the mathematics to show how this will affect the balance. For instance if half the number of men each gets two wives the other half will be left without any women to marry. The situation goes on in that if a quarter of the men get four wives each then the remaining three quarter will not have wives at all.
The women have a negative view of polygamy in general. To them it is a situation where they have to share one man with crowd of other women. The man probably has numerous shortcomings while dealing with only one woman. It goes without say the situation will only get worse in the event that the number of women included is increased.
However it is not all bad in polygamy. If anyone was asked if they would consider being married to Bill Gates no one would hesitate to say yes. There are many powerful and influential men in the society who would marry many wives if the society allowed it as a norm. They will definitely have many contestants should they desire to get many wives.
Apart from the affluence of wealth there are other benefits women can achieve through polygamy. One advantage is sharing of responsibilities in the house. Most women have to agree juggling between being a wife, mother and a career woman is quite taxing. It would be very good if one would take a break from one and the other from time to time (Troost, 2005, p. 238). When one have co wives they help each other and it prevents burnout from trying to do everything alone. Although the society has become dynamic with nannies and house helps coming along, sometimes this is the beginning of many troubles. Children are mistreated and if not raised with values that are very wanting. In some instances, affairs start between the husband and the house-help. In extreme cases, wives are killed so that the house help can assume absolute control.
Therefore through polygamy women will be able to share duties with a trusted person who will share common interests with them. They will have peace of mind as they will have confidence in the abilities of their fellow co wife. Their children will also be impacted with high values and be raised well when they are absent. It will be provide a well deserved rest when needed and ensure they become more productive in their daily duties.
A polygamous society will also enable women to further their careers. They will have ample time to be able to focus on work when they have help with other responsibilities. The society has changed and women and men both contribute towards raising children in terms of finances. The women who advance will be able to contribute more towards the overall progress of the family.
A man will benefit from monogamy through various ways more than the woman. Through monogamy the man will be able to get the attention of one lady completely. The marriage is legally acceptable in all countries. This is an advantage because in case of any wrangles in terms of inheritance the law provides that the children will receive what legally belongs to them.
A man will also benefit from monogamy because all their needs will be met by one lady. The men in monogamous relationships will be able to have insurance, tax deductions and health policies from the marriage. The men are able to be close to their children and be a male figure and role model in each and every area the children need them.
In monogamy there is safety and security. Many wrangles happen in situations where there are no clear rules governing the relationship. In a polygamous relationship division is not made as to who gets what and most of the time the families battle it out with the stronger party gaining from the weaker ones. In many instances the children involved are left penniless (Troost, 2005, p. 148).
The men will benefit more because women will not be able to get any help from other co wives. Monogamous relationships are accepted more in society with people frowning upon those who choose to engage in polygamous affairs. Men will be able to have a high standing in the society. Their ego will be soothed and they will be more settled and happy in their lives.
A man in a monogamous relationship has less to deal with on his plate. A family set up is a lot of hard work therefore when one is bombarded with many families it becomes very strenuous. The man may even suffer from stress related issues when the families cannot cooperate and work together well. A man with only one wife can be able to control fully what goes on in his family as opposed to many wives whom each has their own set of beliefs and values.
Evolution in psychology and in biology clearly shows that women benefit more in polygamous relationships than men. Men have to work harder and provide more. Morally it can even be depicted as something right. In a monogamous relationship, men benefit more. The women undertake all responsibilities while the men get all the care they desire and want while not having to work tirelessly. A paradox therefore arises. If a woman chooses to benefit more through polygamy the man will suffer and on the other hand if the man seeks to gain from monogamy the woman will suffer. It is indeed a zero sum game; one loss is offset by another person’s gain.
References
Troost, A. (2005). Marriage in Motion: A Study on the Social Context and Processes of Marital
Satisfaction. London: Leuven Press
Kanazawa, S. (2008). The paradox of polygamy II: Why most women benefit from polygamy
and most men benefit from monogamy. The Scientific Fundamentalist. Retrieved on
April 20th 2012 from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-
fundamentalist/200802/the-paradox-polygamy-ii-why-most-women-benefit-polygamy-an
