Everyone has faced criticism before or will be criticized at some point in their lives. Criticism is a normal human interaction and sociological phenomenon. But the most important thing is how to deal with criticism in a more diplomatic way. The chosen mode of response to criticism is a clear indication of one’s maturity or otherwise (Michel, 2008). It is necessary to have a primary understanding that criticism is a form of feedback that is a result of other people’s view or interpretation of us or our actions (Michel, 2008). That is the first point of victory whenever faced with criticism. It is also important to identify whether the criticism directed at us is constructive or destructive since we cannot determine what forms of criticism will come our way and which won’t. Constructive criticism is intentionally helpful and promotes growth (Michel, 2008). Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is untrue and may be intentionally aimed at maiming one’s person and his or her efforts (Michel, 2008). A clear interpretation of the intentions of a directed criticism is helpful in facilitating and devising of a mature response.
Learning to respond to criticism in a more mature and susceptive way is a port of call for anyone who wants to preserve harmony in a world full of dynamic human relationships and intentions. Knowing that criticism will come our away even if we try to avoid it is one thing, being able to chart a peaceful path beyond the criticism is another but most important of all. We can only maintain social, institutional and general order if we choose to pursue a peaceful discourse beyond criticism (Geels, 2011). This peaceful discourse betters the social establishments of harmony and relationships (Bahá’í Internet Agency, 2009). Unlike having to encounter criticism which is not within our control, it is within our power to choose what happens after we have been criticized.
It is helpful to approach criticism with an open mind, a wide heart and with the intention of seeking harmony and peace (Bahá’í Internet Agency, 2009). People should not fear criticism and as a matter of fact should perceive it and use it as a reminder and a channel of becoming better (Bahá’í Internet Agency, 2009). Criticism, whether positive (constructive) or negative (destructive), should become a stepping stone and platform where we are able to draw a reflection of making ourselves become better. We should avoid responding to criticism with criticism but rather with a reflective intention to bring the positive out of that criticism and ignore what way may deem harmful (Bahá’í Internet Agency, 2009).
Our response to criticism as adults is largely dependent on our childhood experiences (Michel, 2008). Those who were overprotected as children and were never exposed to criticism may be negatively and adversely affected if faced with criticism as adults (Michel, 2008). Those who have had to face criticism while they were young may respond to criticism with some form of guard and experience hence may not be badly affected like the former (Michel, 2008). The exposure may have granted them a form of psychological or emotional immunity. Unfortunately, it also depends on how the childhood experience was undertaken. Those who may have been lovingly criticized may perceive criticism as helpful and growth seeking. On the contrary, for those who experienced ill intended and punitive forms of criticism may become defensive rather than objective in dealing with criticism and may always view it with a negative perspective even if the directed intention was good (Michel, 2008).
Criticism may be rational or irrational. Rational criticism means that the criticism is based on some form of proof and sincere argument and thus it is validated (Michel, 2008). On the other hand, criticism can be irrational when it is based on biases, misinformation and misconception (Bahá’í Internet Agency, 2009). An irrational criticism may again be misdirected and thus not able to have a positive impact. For example, calling a person stupid while the intention is correcting an instantaneous misbehavior or mistake can be classified as an irrational and destructive criticism (Michel, 2008). Rational criticisms are for the most part always based on the intentions for improvement in the posterity (Geels, 2011). They are aimed to make the party to which they are directed become better than before they were criticized and is this constructive rather than destructive. Irrational criticism, on the other hand, may be a product of spontaneous release of anger or frustration. It may not necessarily be intentional. However, in some cases it may be intentional and may thus lack substantial ground in meaning and basis.
In summary, criticism is a normal part of human life that cannot be avoided. But what can be avoided is the further conflict and loss of harmony that can arise because of negative response to criticism. Criticism can be constructive or destructive, and we have no power to determine how we may be criticized. Either way, we can draw positivity and become better people or become better at what we have been criticized on by the approach we take to respond to criticism directed at us. Even if it is a negative criticism, we can choose to “make lemonade out of bitter lemons”.
References
Bahá’í Internet Agency. (2009). Responding to Criticism and Opposition on the Internet.
Geels, F. W. (2011). The multi-level perspective on sustainability transitions: Responses to seven criticisms. Environmental Innovation and Societal Transitions , 1, 24-40.
Michel, F. (2008). How to Deal Assertively with Criticism. In F. Michel, Assert Yourself. Perth, Western Australia: Centre for Clinical Interventions.
