In this paper, Sung-young Lee creates a very compelling analysis of minimalism that is full of facts and clear arguments, but there are quite a few things that could be improved upon. For one, there are quite a few spelling and grammar errors in the text – ‘quite’ instead of ‘quiet’, mixing tenses in mid-sentence, and even potentially making up some words, such as ‘dynamicity’ and ‘minised’ (perhaps they meant to say ‘minimized’). The sentences, for the most part, are clunky and poorly formed, which can make it a little difficult to read and comprehend.
This is a shame, because this paper has fairly strong and relevant research behind it. The formatting of the paper is sound, taking us from the definition of minimalism through each different designer, showcasing how they use it in their own unique way. Several examples of each designer’s work are demonstrated and shown clearly, as the explanation takes us through what makes this piece minimalist. The question of minimalism is addressed thoroughly, taking an aspect from each designer’s perspective on the art form and melding it into a more comprehensive thesis. All the same, the actual body text should not indicate where the image is in the paper (“the following eye-catching rocker”), and merely discuss it. The placement of the picture (along with a caption) will be sufficient for a reader.
If the author had a stronger grasp of English, this would be an excellent paper. As is stands, however, it needs heavy proofreading and a clearer statement of intent with each sentence. The comparison of the phrase ‘less is more’ should be given greater clarity (the statement is not ‘ironic,’ for example), but its comparison to the phrase ‘more is better’ is an extremely strong analogy to use for the relationship between minimalism and traditional art. All in all, if the language were cleaned up and streamlined a bit, this paper would be great.
