In the Article “Stop Googling. Let’s Talk” by Sherry Turkle talks about what happens when society starts relying more on texting rather than face-to-face conversation. While the use of cellphones in some social situations with one’s peers is acceptable based on the rule of three. The rule of three says that at least three people in a group of five or six must be actively engaged in a conversation allowing the other members of the group to check their phones. There are many situations where it is seen as wrong. These situations include dinners with your kids, at children’s sporting events, or any situation that a parent’s attention should be focused on the child or family.
Studies have shown that the presence of a cell anywhere within a person’s line of sight causes them to keep the conversation light so that they can leave it at any time. In a study conducted by Sara Konrath at the University of Michigan over a 30-year period, Konrath found that there has been a 40% decline in empathy in college students with much of the decline occurring after 2000. This is because we are no longer truly present in conversations so we no longer make the same emotional connections with people as we used to. Part of the reason for this is that the disconnection that cell phones give us makes it nearly impossible for a person especially kids to understand the impact of their behavior because they are unable to put themselves in the position of another person. Another study by psychologist Yalda T. Uhls showed that if a child was separated from their mobile devices they would begin to be able to identify emotions after a couple of days. This was a result of face-to-face communication.
Turkle states in “Stop Googling, Let’s Talk” that the solitude and the capacity for empathetic conversation go hand in hand. This is because moments of solitude give us time to think about what we are going to say in a conversation and how others may react to it. We also must be able to self-reflect, this means that we must be secure enough in ourselves to listen to the viewpoint of others. One of the problems is that people are no longer able to be in solitude. Our minds must constantly be processing information. The problem with people not being able to experience solitude is that we are no longer able to contribute our presence in a conversation. The way to fix this is to separate ourselves from the cell phone when we are in social situations and allow ourselves to think about what we are going to say.
I mostly disagree with Turkle. Although, I do agree that there are times when cellphone use is distasteful. These times include any situation where a person should be focusing on another person, such as a date, school play, a child’s sporting activity and the dinner table. I do not think it is wrong to be messing around on your phone when you are hanging out amongst your friends. This is because unlike a family dinner, where a person wants the attention on them in order to get recognition. When one is with their friends there is not a need to draw attention to oneself. This is why in my opinion it is perfectly fine to sit with your friends and either have no one speaking or have only a few people speaking at a time. Besides conversations flow a lot better when there is not a bunch of people trying to share their thoughts. One also has to take in consideration the appropriateness of the conversation in context to the situation. A person probably is not going to want to have a deep conversation when they are amongst a group of people.
I find the fact there are rules like the “3-person rule” and the “7-minute rule” by which we judge conversations funny. The 3-person rule indicates that there must be a conversation going on if there is a group of people. I find this funny because while people can distance themselves from the conversation by being on their cellphones, there must be a conversation happening in order to be together. Then you have the 7-minute rule which says that you have seven minutes to see how the conversation is going to go and if the conversation remains quiet that you have to let it be. This rule bothers me, because it is saying the person’s voice only deserves to be heard if others want to listen. I obviously disagree, if you start a conversation and no one responds switch tactics, talk about something else, direct a question or comment to someone, make them acknowledge you. I do like the 7-minute rule because it allows you to know if you should proceed with a conversation after getting the initial response. This allows you to test the tone of the group before committing to hanging out with it.
In regards to cellphones I think many people use them not only as a way to connect but as a way to communication while avoiding awkward situations such as the 7-minute rule. If you send someone a text or a message on social media, it seems as though the response is faster and if there is no response then depending on the situation one could guess that the person was busy and could not talk, unlike when you are speaking directly to people and there is no response. While I think that it is important to be able to sit quietly amongst people I also think that it is important to insist on acknowledgement when one addresses someone. I do not blame the lack of conversation or acknowledgement on cellphones, apps or technology. I just think that we need to be engaged at a higher and faster level than before.
Works Cited
Turkle, Sherry. "Stop Googling. Let’s Talk." The New York Times. The New York Times, 2015. Web. 24 Jan. 2016.
