My Friend
I have a friend back in my homeland who I talk to, almost every week, through Facebook Chat. She is my childhood friend. We grew up in the same street. I felt close to her as a friend because she was very nice to me and our parents are also friends so they would always see each other whenever there are special occasions. My friend is one year younger to me, so I am a little protective of her.
Unfortunately, I needed to leave our homeland and settle here to study. So, in order to make sure that our friendship remains, I communicate to her regularly. Unfortunately, there was a time that she was no longer answering my chat messages on time, and when she does answer her answers were too short, so I got worried.
Then after several days of not answering my messages, I asked my parents about her and they told me that she is alright. The idea that she is already neglecting my messages displeasured me, and then the displeasure turned to anger. Fortunately, my knowledge from my communication courses helped me get-over my anger, and now we are chatting again.
Two Concepts
Noise
There are two concepts that I was able to appreciate because of that experience with my friend. The first concept is “Noise.” Noise can be defined as any interference to communication. They can be actual sounds or abstract things such differences in knowledge base or culture. What noise basically does is that it somehow causes misunderstanding between two or more communicating parties. According to the Shannon-Weaver Model of Communication, noise is usually acquired through the communication channel. An example of a communication channel is a phone. However, more modern definitions of noise explain that noise can be produced by any of the communicating parties. This means that the sender and the receiver of the message can produce noise that can interfere with the proper interpretation of the messages. In other words, a sender can produce noise in producing his or her message so that when the receiver receives the message, he or she will most likely misinterpret it (Communication Theory n.p.; and “Introduction to interpersonal Communication” 7).
Mindfulness
The second concept that I used is the concept of mindfulness. According to “Introduction to Interpersonal Communication,” mindfulness is a state of a person when he or she can think rationally in making actions and decisions. The opposite of mindfulness, based from this definition is being impulsive or relying in intuition. This concept assumes that individuals are capable of reason or logical thinking. In the realm of communication, mindfulness is a state of mind. It is a state of being aware of the effects of the words and other non-verbal queues that we give to other people (Burgoon, Burger and Waldron 105). This means that our intentions or aims in saying or in our body language are clear into our minds, and that we chose the appropriate actions or gestures to communicate them. In a more general sense, mindfulness simply means awareness of what we are doing and saying to other people so that we will minimize the possibility of misinterpretation in the side of the receiver.
Application
Noise application
Upon applying the concept on noise in my communications with my friend, I realized that there were noise that was generated by system that I have used – the chat and the internet. As I went back a few weeks before she started answering abnormally to my chat messages, I realized that one of my messages, which is a birthday greeting, did not reach her properly. What was sent to her was an incomplete message of my greeting, and it also came late. I realized from this experience that time delay can also be considered a noise. Usually, our mood determines how we will interpret or receive a message. If, in the middle of our happiness, such as while celebrating our birthdays, we receive a birthday greeting from a special friend, then we will become happier. If, however, we are somewhat sad and received an inaccurate or incomplete message then we might feel sadder. This is what happened to my friend. She had a problem with her parents after her birthday, and she was not in a good mood when she received my incomplete, late message. She also felt displeasure against me. Hence, through the concept of noise, I realized that my friend is sensitive to occasions and timeliness. She values special occasions and hopes that her friends do the same.
Mindfulness application
In applying mindfulness, I realized that my friend is a woman, and women tend to be emotional when they think they are being neglected. Hence, when I realized what could have caused her sudden change in communication pattern with me, I had to do something. So, one day, I called her through phone and told her I was sorry about last messages that seem angry, and that I am also sorry for sending an incomplete message. Then I explained to her what happened. These actions that I did showed that I am already more mindful of the possible repercussions of my actions. I knew well that she is my friend and she will forgive me if I just do an extra effort to show how sorry I am for being angry at her. I am mindful because I understood how she will react to my actions and words. Being mindful has done a great deal of change on how I communicate with her now. I usually think if she is in a good mood or bad mood before I say something.
Works Cited
Burgoon, Judee K., Burge, Charles R. and Waldron, Vincent R. Mindfulness and Interpersonal Communication. Journal of Social Issues, 56.1(2000): 105-127.
Communication Theory. “Shannon and Weaver Model of Communication.” 2015. Web. 2017.
“Introduction to interpersonal Communication”
